


Hello?

by rymyanna



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friendship, Hopeful Ending, Loneliness, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Romance, Stalking, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:58:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 73,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8177570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rymyanna/pseuds/rymyanna
Summary: Original summary: AU. Deathshipping. Ryou is an introverted lonely boy with a horror fetish. One night a mysterious caller calls, saying that he got the wrong number and they start to talk. Has he finally gained a friend? Maybe even something better... or worse...
cross posted from ff.net in honor of it finally being done





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story I started in 2007 and finished recently (I stopped writing it and didn't think I'd ever get back to it but here we are). I still like it. I'm going to do some editing and post chapters when I'm done with fixing grammar stuff and such. The full story can be found on fanfiction.net under my old penname (Rannaty) with less edits (though I'm going to work on that, too).

A white haired boy was hugging his pillow on a couch, wearing light blue pajamas. A half empty popcorn bowl as company. It was close to midnight and the horror movie he had been watching was almost over. His only living family member, father, was still at work. The man had the habit of staying there through the night.

The boy, Ryou Bakura, often watched horror movies by himself. Other people made him nervous and he found interacting with them difficult. He felt awkward when talking to new people; he could never think of anything to say. Ryou suspected that others thought that he was an idiot. No one bothered to talk to him a second time, unless they had to, and Ryou was too shy to try and talk to anyone. Making friends without talking to anyone was tricky.

The murderer gave the last scare and Ryou jumped but smiled. It was nice to watch horror when you were alone in the dark house, in comfy pajamas and with snacks. It was his favorite past-time on weekends. It was Friday night, and another horror filled, lonely weekend was a head of him. His father was sure to work through the weekend. At least he knew a great place to rent movies from, just a ten minute walk away, with a huge horror section.

Ryou was more into psychological horror than blood and gore, though he had made an exception this time. His father had bought the movie for him so of course he had watched it. His dad had only bought it to give him something to pass time with when he was alone in the house. This weekend was busy, his father had told him, as though that was an exception rather than the rule.

The movie had been quite good. A lot of blood, but that was ok for a change. Ryou was obsessed with this kind of movies. He had no idea how it had started, but he was afraid that he would run out of movies to watch, then he would have to watch the ones he had already seen, again.

The ending credits rolled and Ryou sighed. Time to go to bed. Maybe he could read something before he fell asleep.

He almost fell off the couch when his cellphone rang. After discovering that he hadn't had a heart attack, he picked up his phone from the table in front of the couch. Who could be calling him now? His dad was the only person who had his number, besides school administration. As he checked the caller ID, it said that it was an unknown caller. Ryou bit his lip, wondering if he should answer, it was probably a telemarketer or something. He pressed the accept call button and lifted the cell on his ear.

“Hello..?” His voice sounded high and hesitant. He always told his both names when he answered the phone, but this was different and he felt jumpy after the movie.

“Hey, you don't sound like- Damn I must have dialed a wrong number,” the person on the other end said. His voice was deep, the small curse made it sound harsh.

“Um, t-that's ok,” Ryou said. He was still having the after horror feeling; scared, but ina good way. It made his voice waver.

“Hmm? You sound scared. I'm not an evil phone stalker you know.” Now that the voice had lost its harshness, it sounded smooth. Ryou decided that he liked this voice even though he didn't know who it belonged to.

“I didn't think you were. I'm just a bit jumpy after just finishing watching a horror movie,” he told with a small laugh.

“Oh?” The voice sounded amused. “Do you like scary movies?” The voice had lowered at the question and it send a pleasant shiver down Ryou's spine. Such a nice voice. The question made him giggle. He slumped into the couch, making himself comfortable.

“What?” asked the person from the other end with a sense of amusement. “Something I said?”

“You just reminded me of that guy from Scream, with that question. But I do like horror a lot, watch them all the time.” It was much easier to talk to someone he couldn't see and didn't know. This guy, because he obviously was a guy judging by the voice, might as well be a sixty year old pervert, though he didn't sound that old.

“Oh yeah, I remember that movie. Did you like that one?”

“Hmm, well, it was rather good, though I'm not really into any of that bloody stuff. I like psychological horror more.” He was already too tired to care that he was talking about movies with a total stranger who had accidentally called him, and besides, he liked talking to this person, even if it was just because of his voice.

“Like Silence of the Lambs?”

“Anything with a little Hannibal.” Ryou laughed and heard the other chuckle. “Why are all the movies that come up so old?”

“I know. It makes me feel so old that I don't know any newer ones. I haven't been in the movies for ages.”

“Me neither,” Ryou told. “I mostly just rent everything I watch.”

“Out of money?”

“Not really, but it's not fun to go to the movies alone. But anyway, I must be making your phone bill rise so maybe we should hang up,” Ryou changed the subject.

“No, it's not my phone anyway. Let's just talk, I have nothing better to do.”

“But weren't you trying to call someone? I wouldn't want to bother you.”

“That was nothing important. So, can I assume that I'm talking to a guy?” the voice continued with a chatty tone and Ryou had no objections.

“Yes, do you need to ask?”

“Your voice does sound a bit feminine.”

“Hey! Are you trying to make fun of me?” Ryou frowned even though he knew the other couldn't see it. He had been compared to a girl as an insult before.

“I'm not, it's a fact, and besides, I think your voice sounds nice.” Again with the low tone, though this time it sounded almost seductive and made Ryou blush.

“Um, thank you. I like your voice, too.” Ryou turned more red, glad that the other couldn't see him.

“Heh, that's good, otherwise you would have already hung up on me.”

Ryou smiled. “Well, you're not that bad to talk to either. I would probably just be reading or something now if you hadn't called. I can never sleep right after a horror movie.”

“Aw, too scared?” the caller asked. “Just let my wonderful voice lull you to sleep.”

That made Ryou laugh. “I'd rather not fall asleep on the couch.”

“Maybe you should go to bed then?”

Ryou nodded but then remembered that the other couldn't see him. “Maybe. Wait I'll go to my room, ok?” He got up from his seat and walked up the stairs to where his room was. He turned on his night light and got under the covers. After he was comfortable, he raised the cell to his ear again. “You still there?”

“Yes. What are you wearing?”

Ryou raised an eyebrow. “Wearing? That, my friend, has nothing to do with this conversation but if you are so interested to know, I'm wearing light blue pajamas.”

“We could have a conversation where that is relevant.”

Ryou blushed. “Your mind is dirty.”

A laugh from the other end. “I was only kidding, though, you never said that we couldn't.”

“I was hinting at it. Mind if I ask you who you were trying to call earlier?”

“My cousin, needed to bug him about something. I think your number has only one digit difference to his.”

“Oh ok.” A small suspicion came to Ryou's mind. “Don't you have your cousin on speed dial?”

“No, I hate his guts.”

Ryou smiled in relief. Not because the mystery caller hated his cousin, but because he had thought that the dialing of his number hadn't been an accident after all. It was possible that the caller was lying, but Ryou decided to trust him on this one. Their conversation went on for some time after that. They talked about various subjects that came to mind, nothing personal, neutral, light subjects. It was nice to talk to someone without having to be afraid of making a fool out of himself; they would never know who the other was. It was much easier to Ryou than talking to someone face-to-face.

He laid down, feeling tired but not wanting to end the conversation just yet. Ryou yawned.

“Tired?” asked the caller.

“Yeah. It's getting late.” He glanced at his alarm clock, it was three AM. They had talked for hours. He hadn't even realized it. “It's really late, three already.” Yawn. “I should be sleeping. Good thing my father isn't here, he wouldn't like me staying up this late.”

“Fathers,” the other 'hmph'ed. “You want to go to sleep already?”

“I... Not really. I mean, it's been really nice talking to you but I think I might just fall asleep any moment now, so.”

“'Night, then.”

“Good night.” Ryou was disappointed when he hung up and placed the phone on his night stand. They were unlikely to talk again.

Sleep claimed him, so he didn't have much time to think about it.

xxx

The phone call had drained his sleep. Ryou slept in and found his father in the kitchen, having lunch, when he came down from his room to have breakfast. His father glanced up from his food to give his tired son a quick smile before concentrating on his food again.

“Morning son, you look tired,” his dad said.

Ryou sat down at the table, yawning and reaching for something to munch on. “I stayed up pretty late last night. Well, this morning more like.”

“How come? You didn't spend all night watching movies again, did you?”

Ryou's tired brain registered that it was nice to have his dad showing interest towards his life for a change. “No, but this one guy accidentally called me and we just kind of started talking.”

His dad looked up from his food. “Wait, so you talked with some guy you don't even know 'til the early hours? You do realize that he could have been some old pervert who just said he called the wrong number, right? Or a stalker? That kind of people can be dangerous, Ryou. I hope you didn't tell him about yourself.”

“Dad,” Ryou directed a tired look at his father. “I'm not totally stupid. We didn't talk about anything personal and he didn't ask anything like that either. He didn't sound very old to me and who would want to stalk me anyway?” Who would ever take interest in the quiet and uninteresting little Ryou? No one, that's who, not even some sick stalker.

His father sighed. “Well, you never know, all kinds of sick people in the world these days.” He took a look at his watch. “Oh I got to go now. A meeting. Bye, have a nice day. Don't open the door to strangers.”

“Yes, I know. Bye, dad.” Ryou gave a small, tired wave to his father, who was well on his way out the door. It was nice to have his father care, but it was the same reminder every time. Don't open the door unless you know who it is, lock the doors before bed, and so on. It made him feel like his father didn't think he could take care of himself.

He decided to have the rest of his father's microwave meal as his lunch/breakfast. They would always eat premade meals if it was up to his father. Luckily for them, it wasn't up to his dad.

Ryou decided to go to rent some new movies later that day since he didn't have anyone to keep him company. Not that he had expected any. After finishing his meal, he went back upstairs to shower and change. He might as well go for a little walk before heading to Rent-A-Movie.

He ran down the stairs and grabbed his keys and phone on the way out of the house. It was a nice neighborhood. He took the longer route to his destination, like he planned. The day was nice and sunny, though he could see some darker clouds in the horizon. He hoped for rain. Rain meant that it was more fun to curl on the couch under blankets. Maybe it would thunder.

Ryou found himself taking his cellphone from his pocket and staring at it. Rent-A-Movie came to view when the phone in his hand rang, making him jump out of his socks. It was an unknown caller. He answered with nervous sounding hello again, not expecting to hear the familiar voice.

“Why do you always sound so nervous when you answer the phone?”

“Oh. Hello. I don't know. People just don't call me that often,” Ryou told. “Hey, how come you called again? Trying to reach your cousin?” He asked and began walking again.

“What? Not happy to hear me again? I'm hurt.” The hurt was fake. “Actually, I called to you on purpose this time.”

Ryou thought it was weird but didn't mind; it was nice to talk to another humanbeing again. “Oh? I must say that I don't really mind talking to you.” Ryou was surprised by his own boldness; he had never said anything like that to a stranger, not with that kind of casual confidence. Having distance and two phones between him and the other person gave him a boost. “So. What are you planning to do this weekend?”

“Nothing special. Work, sleep, the usual. You?”

“I was thinking of renting more movies and watching them. You work on weekends?” That reminded him of his father.

“Yeah, but only part time. I have to earn my living somehow.”

Ryou opened the door to Rent-A-Movie and stepped in, heading to the horror section.

“What was that sound?” asked the other, referring to the small bell on top of the door that rang whenever someone opened the door.

“Oh, I just got to the place I rent all my movies from,” the boy told, scanning through the movies on the shelf.

“Ok. Do you have someone special you're planning on watching a movie with?”

The question made Ryou smile as he pulled out a movie to read the summary. “Are you asking if I'm taken?” Again with the boldness. Whatever got into him when he was on the phone with this guy?

“I might be,” the other drawled out. “Are you?”

“Nope. Why do you want to know?” The summary wasn't interesting so he put the movie back and pulled out another.

“Out of curiosity,” the voice told. “Funny really, I could be asking that from a twelve-year-old or something.”

“Hey, I don't sound that young!” Ryou huffed. “I'm not twelve, you were wrong by five years.” He wondered if it would be ok to tell his age. What could someone do with that knowledge?

“So you're seven then? That's great because I always did have a thing for small children.”

Ryou laughed and got a strange look from a fellow customer so he lifted his hand to muffle his laughter. “Pwease don't hurt me thwough the phone mister child molester.” This time staff member shot him a disapproving glare, but Ryou was too distracted by the low chuckle from the other end to care. The sound sent a small, pleasant shiver down his spine.

“Oh I can't promise you that...”

The boy kept smiling until he saw the picture on one the cover of a movie. It had a scared looking woman who was holding a phone to her ear, looking ready to scream. Ryou turned the box to read the summary: Kate gets a mysterious call one night. The voice is pleasant but what will happen when the things it says turn very unpleasant? It threats her family and friends, driving Kate near a nervous breakdown and insanity. How can she fight something she can only hear?

“Um y-yeah,” Ryou stammered and decided to rent the movie. He almost hung up. What were the odds that something from a dumb flick would happen to him? Ryou felt stupid for reacting with such paranoia. A change of subject was in order, though.“Hey, is the weather nice where you are?” The weather was always a safe subject. Boring, yes, but safe.

There was a small pause before the caller answered. “I guess, it looks like it's about to rain though.”

“That's funny, same here.” Ryou gave a nervous laugh. He picked another movie that looked interesting to go with the mysterious caller one, and made his way towards the register. “I'm going to the register now, maybe we should hang up.”

“Ok, bye then. Can I call to you after work?”

“Um, ok, if you want. Bye.”

They hung up and Ryou showed the movies he wanted to the person behind the desk. After he was done with that, he headed home.

xxx

A tan hand put the phone back down on the table and got up to leave for work. The phone he used was “borrowed” from his cousin with the excuse that his was broken. A smirk played on his lips as he walked out of the apartment. He had actually managed to talk to the boy.

Mariku had first seen the boy in Rent-A-Movie two months ago. He had wanted to rent a movie that evening and had decided that he would like a horror. The boy had been there, looking through the movies and mumbling to himself. 'Seen it, seen it, no thanks...' he had said as his finger ran over the sides of movie covers. Mariku had sent amused glances towards the strange boy who had seen most movies in the horror section. It struck him as weird; the boy looked so cute and innocent, not the horror loving type at all. That was what had first drawn him. He had kept coming back to “rent a movie”, never picking anything, because he had't been ready to admit that he came back to see the boy.

As he watched, he learned that the boy always rented horror, never anything else. Mariku had concluded that the boy couldn't be innocent if he had that kind of horror fetish. That, and he always came alone. He didn't seem to have any attributes that would drive people away and prevent him from having friends. He always gave a shy smile at the person working the register and requested the staff to assist him if he needed help finding a particular movie. And all in all, the boy was beautiful, with big brown eyes and pale skin.

In his obsession, though he would never admit it aloud, he had got a hold of the boy's, Ryou's, customer info. The boy was a regular customer, so the store had his phone number. It had been easy. Mariku hadn't been able to get himself to call the number before last night, though that had been an accident as Ryou's number did resemble that of his cousin's.

He had talked to Ryou. A long talk last night and a short one this afternoon. Last night he had called from a public phone that was in his work place, trying to reach his cousin, but had got the number wrong and called to Ryou instead. Not that he had any reason to complain.

It was a little added bonus that Ryou liked talking to him, and even liked his voice. Mariku grinned. The boy didn't sound half bad either and he wondered if he would sound as sweet in all situations.


	2. Chapter 2

It thundered that night. Just like Ryou had hoped for, but there was something missing: the mystery caller hadn't called yet. It was almost ten and he hadn't called even though he said that he would. After work. 'Can I call you after work?'

Yes he could so what was keeping him?

Ryou was in a strange state of mind. He had just finished the movie about the woman and the mystery caller, that had been nothing like his situation. First of, the caller in the movie didn't have as nice a voice as his caller had. Second, the woman was nothing like Ryou. She was too easily frightened, Ryou wasn't. How could he be after all the horror movies he had watched? The third reason had little to do with the movie; the woman in the movie, or anyone else in it for that matter, didn't have candy. Ryou did have candy, or he had candy. It was gone now.

“Where's the rest of my candy?” He was sure he had bought more, he just couldn't find it. If there was something Ryou loved as much as horror movies, it was eating. Combining the two was even better. It was a miracle that he was as thin as he was. After the darkness had fallen, Ryou had dug out his snacks, and candy, and started watching the movies he had rented.

Despite not being scared at all, the sudden ring of his cell made him jump up from the floor where he had been looking for his missing candy.

He picked up. “'ello. Have you seen my candy?”

A pause. “Yes, I'm eating it as we speak. Are you ok? You sound weird.”

Ryou giggled and climbed back on the couch. “I'm fine, just too much bad horror, candy and thunder. It makes me feel all funny inside.” He meant the thunder, though, the other things mentioned might have something to do with it, too. Ryou knew it was because of all the electricity in the air and the horror element of thunder that effected him.

“Hey, why didn't you call earlier?” Ryou asked, remembering that he had been looking forward to the call.

“Something came up and, believe it or not, I actually have a life outside of you.” The words would have sounded rude and harsh if it wasn't for the light tone the caller used.

“Ah, ok,” the boy replayed. “Guess what? The movie I just watched, it was about this evil phone stalker kind of guy. I just thought that it was sort of ironic since I found it when you were calling me. Not that I'm accusing you of anything, of course,” he added.

“That's good, one could get offended by being called an evil phone stalker guy.” The light tone was gone now. “Though, I believe that this situation is different from that in some movie.”

At first, Ryou had nothing to say to that. Had he pissed the caller off? “I'm sorry... I didn't mean it to sound like that.” When he finally had someone else than his father to talk to, he didn't want to chase them away. “Of course it's different and I wasn't comparing or anything... Sorry.”

“Don't worry about it, I wasn't really offended,” the caller didn't sound offended anymore. “Anyway...”

A silence followed that. A long silence when neither had anything to say. After a while Ryou sighed, heard how the caller sighed, too, and sighed again. There was a huff from the other end. The boy blew air out, knowing that the other heard it. The ridiculousness of it all made Ryou burst out laughing and almost fall off the couch again. He managed not to, and calmed down enough to hear the caller speak:  
“You're the weirdest person...”

Stifling his laughter so that he could reply, Ryou turned to lie on his stomach. “I'm not weird, I'm just unique,” he said, smiling.

“What's the difference?”

Ryou shrugged. “It's the same thing, really, but I think unique sounds better than weird. Weird is more insulting.”

“Whatever, you are over-analyzing it.”

“That's just a part of my unique uniqueness,” Ryou joked, leaning his elbows on a pillow and waving his legs in the air. He heard the other laugh and smiled.

“What's the rest of it then?”

If he had a phone cord, he would have started to whirl it around his finger at this point. “Maybe you will have to find out.”

“Hmm, maybe I will,” the caller lowered his voice and took thd tone that sent a nice shiver through Ryou.

“Well, you would have to keep calling me,” Ryou said.

“Never said I wouldn't.”

“T-that would be nice, if you could.” Asking that made Ryou nervous. This was a stranger who he had talked to a couple of times and now Ryou was asking him to start some kind of an over-the-phone relationship.

The caller didn't have any objections, “Good, I wouldn't want to bother you too much.”

Ryou laughed out of relief and because the caller was funny in his own way. That made him more relaxed than he had been moments prior.

“Um. Could you tell me your name?” he asked. “Just first name or nickname is ok, but of course if you don't want to, that's alright, though I would like to have something to call you, other than 'the mysterious guy' or something like that.”

There was a small moment of silence as the caller contemplated.

“...Mariku,” came the answer and Ryou felt relieved that the caller had told him, even if it was made up.

“That's a nice name. I'm Ryou.”

xxx

“I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but it sort of... slipped my mind.” It was Sunday afternoon and Ryou was with his father, sitting on the opposite sides of the kitchen table. Ryou was shocked to hear the news his father had.

A business trip to the other side of the Pacific Ocean. In a week.

“How can something like that slip your mind?” Ryou asked, voice not hiding his frustration. “You have known about it for the past month and haven't told me.”

“Yes, yes, I know and I am sorry. This is really important and I hope you can understand. I trust that you can take care of yourself,” the man said and smiled, hesitant.

Ryou drew a blank. His father trusted him now? Since when?!

“Though, I know that a son of my good friend wouldn't mind keeping you company while I'm gone.”

Ryou's face fell; there goes the “trust”. He knew that there was nothing he could do about it, since his father had decided to go, and had contacted this friend of his, too. “Alright. I hope you have a nice trip, dad.” Ryou got up and went to his room.

This was so typical; his father made decisions that effected them both, without asking him, and left him to deal with the aftermath. It was nothing new but it still made Ryou feel that he didn't matter; made him feel like some hindrance to his father's career. Had this been how his mother had felt before she died?

Ryou needed to talk to someone other than his father. He hoped Mariku would call. That had to wait until evening, though, so there was still most of the day ahead of him before he could vent. He wondered if it was alright to want to tell Mariku something this personal when they didn't know each other well yet. Would Mariku be scared off, or worse, not interested. Mariku had been nice enough so far but all they knew about each other was superficial facts. They would need to get to know each other on a more personal basis to become friends. Ryou sure could use a friend.

He heard his father leave the house, without trying to talk to him. The chances were that Ryou wouldn't have listened to him but the effort would have been nice. Of course, his father hadn't tried to console him because he knew that Ryou wouldn't have listened.

It was a long time to wait until tonight, and to the time when he could watch the remaining horror. The gray clouds from yesterday had yet to leave the sky and it looked so boring outside that Ryou didn't feel like going out. There wasn't much he could do in the house, though.

Ryou grabbed his music player and headphones to distract him from the bad weather and left the house. Just in case it rained, he grabbed his umbrella. He hoped that it would; no use for the sky to look like that if it wasn't going to rain. Ryou liked the rain. Everything looked better afterwards and the sound of the raindrops hitting the ground was calming. Thunder was a different story. It was even better when it thundered and rained. The electric miracle of nature scared some but it made him feel more alive. Combined with the calming effect of rain, it was something to look forward to.

In times like this when he needed a place to go and have a walk in, he wished for a park near by. A place where he wouldn't run into people all the time. The most soothing place was the Domino harbor, so that's where he decided to go.

Xxx

Mariku was on a break. With two hours of work left, he needed his obligatory coffee. In all his nineteen years of life he had never been a people person, so it was a miracle that he had got a job in a local grocery store. It was bordering on too much customer service, even for a weekend job. Not a day went by without him wanting to kill one or two of the customers. The store was small, and since the owner was a kind elderly woman, the people who came to buy their daily groceries there had got used to getting good service. None of them were afraid to ask, or demand, it. Still, it helped him pay his bills. Though, he would have to make an effort to get a full time job after he got fired from the last place he had worked on week days.

All the money worries put aside, the sea looked calm today as he sipped his coffee, leaning on his black motorcycle. This was the only place where he could be relatively alone, aside from his apartment. It looked like it would start raining any minute so not many were out enjoying the view.

When the wind blew past him, it brought a soft sound of humming with it. He could have sworn that it was some horror movie theme and turned to look at the person who was just on his way down to the harbor, closer to the sea.

As his eyes spied a figure clad in a dark colored hoodie, carrying a blue umbrella, he couldn't believe his dumb luck. It was Ryou out of all the people who could have come to the harbor while humming a horror movie theme. Ryou walked near the edge that separated the land from the sea and stopped to look out to the horizon.

It would have been so easy to just go and open a conversation with something stupid, like 'Hi, do you come here often?' but there was no way he was going to do that. First of all, Ryou would recognize his voice and second, he would just make an ass out of himself. That always happened if he for some reason talked to people; he ended up saying something rude, and getting angry at them. That was never good. Lack of practice and lack of will to practice.

So he watched as it began to rain. Ryou was about to open his umbrella before they both heard the sound of thunder. It wasn't wise to use an umbrella when it thundered, and Ryou knew that, too, as he lowered it and just let the rain fall on him. It didn't rain hard so neither got wet as they stood there, Ryou watching the sea and Mariku watching Ryou.

Then, like the boy had felt his watchers gaze, he turned halfway around and looked straight at Mariku. If Mariku had been more polite than he was, he would have looked away when their eyes met but, as he was who he was, he just looked past the rim of his coffee cup as Ryou's curious eyes looked him over (looked over because there was no way he was checking him out). A tint of pink adored Ryou's cheeks and he looked away after a shy, hesitant smile at his watchers way.

Mariku blinked, unable to understand what had just happened. A smirk took over, as he managed to take a drink of his coffee like he had been planning to. Ryou had just smiled at him and now he was feeling funny. Wasn't he pathetic.

The rain water had made his coffee cold. There was no point in finishing it, so he tossed it to the nearest trash can and decided that it was better that he left before he did something stupid. His break was over anyway.

xxx

Ryou put his hoodie to dry in the bathroom and got himself a towel to dry his hair with. He had had to tear his eyes away from the sea to get home. It had looked so nice. That hadn't been the only nice looking thing he had seen in the harbor. He laughed at his own thoughts and went back down stairs to get something to eat. It must have been hours since he last ate. He was starving.

He sat down to munch on a sandwich and hoped that he wouldn't get sick. That was doubtful; he hadn't even got wet and his immune system was like an impenetrable armor. A brief concern for the guy at the harbor crossed his mind without him paying much attention to it. He had, after all, just been standing there in the rain. So had Ryou but he did it all the time so that was different. It was none of his business what some stranger did, even if that stranger was someone who had been watching him and was one of the most attractive people he had seen, in a freakish way.

A yawn escaped him and Ryou realized that he once again hadn't spent much of the night sleeping. He should go and take a nap. That way he could stay up longer and still be alert at school tomorrow.

Ryou curled up on the couch and hugged his favorite pillow. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep.

The ringing started out as silent, penetrating his sleepy mind and pulling him back to the waking world. Then it got louder as Ryou's mind began to register it more and woke up. Eyes opened and searched for the thing that had forced them to do that. A cellphone was the source of the annoying ringing and a hand went out to silence it and bring it to the ear.  
“..what..?” he heard his mouth say.

“I wonder if 'what?' is an upgrade or a downgrade from 'hello?'”

Ryou felt a sleepy smile slip on his face and sat up. “It's a sleepgarde. You woke me from my nap, that's all.” He glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was close to six pm. He had slept an hour or two.

“Heh, sorry. Just hang up on me if you want to continue sleeping.”

“No, no, I'm glad you called,” Ryou hurried to assure. He would never just hang up on anyone. “I wanted someone to talk to," he hesitated, "though, I'm not sure if you want to listen since it's um, maybe a bit boring.”

“Bore me then, I won't mind.”

“Well...” He had to think about how to continue, relieved that Mariku hadn't shot him down. Yet. “You see, my dad is going on this trip all the way to America in a week, and he just told me about it today. So, you can probably imagine how I felt when he just expected me to go 'Ok dad, have fun' and he'll be gone for a whole month, too.” Ryou paused so Mariku could interrupt him. When he only heard breathing from the other end, he continued, “Though he did say something about his friend's son keeping me company so I don't have to be all alone, but I think that's just an excuse to have someone to keep an eye on me. I don't think he trusts me to be able to take care of myself.”

A short silence followed. Ryou wasn't sure if he was done yet but doubted that his problems were interesting. He didn't continue.

“It sounds to me that your father doesn't care what you think," Mariku said. "And wouldn't it be better if one of your own friends kept you company instead of someone your father picks? Even if it was just to keep an eye on you.”

Ryou bit his lip. His friends, or lack there of, was a topic he had been trying to avoid. To him, it was embarrassing that he didn't have any and it wasn't something he wanted to bring up. But since it was already out there,“Um, actually, I sort of don't have any friends so...”

“Oh. How come? You don't seem all that bad to me.”

“Ah well... It's difficult for me to be around people, especially if I have to talk to them. I guess I'm kind of shy,” he admitted.

“I'm not that good with people either. It's not shyness or anything, I just don't like most people.”  
The words made Ryou feel so much better that he almost laughed out loud. He didn't feel half as alone anymore. “Really? That's great! Uh, I mean that um...” Mariku laughed when Ryou stammered with his words.

“I think I get what you mean. Though, I thought that you would have lots of friends since you're so nice. No vicious personality traits to scare people off or anything.”

“Yeah well,” Ryou stifled his own laughter. “I guess I'm too nice. Do you scare people off with your 'vicious' personality then?”

“Why, of course. Be very afraid of me now.”


	3. Chapter 3

As the school week started again, Ryou found himself sitting through classes alone, wondering when the day would end. The phone calls from Mariku were a regular thing in his evenings and nights. They drained his sleep some but he didn't mind. He had someone now and that was wonderful, even if it was someone he would never get to meet. They never talked about where they lived, so as far as he knew, Mariku could live on the other side of the country.

After talking on the phone with each other so much, they were bound to get to know each other better, opening up about more personal matters. As the subjects became less superficial, so did their friendship.

Now he was in the cafeteria, eating lunch and watching people come and go with a half an eye. There wasn't much else to do on lunch break. He had forgot the book he read during breaks at home today. The other students passed his table, sat to eat somewhere else and chatted with each other.

Two people were carrying their lunch trays and stopped near Ryou's table. Judging from their conversation, everywhere else was full. They sat down in the other end of the table and started eating. Ryou didn't pay much attention to them; this happened all the time when there was no other seats available, otherwise he sat alone.

The two talked, and as Ryou glanced at them, because something had caught his interest, one of them smiled at him. The other noticed this and glanced at Ryou, before turning to speak to the one who smiled.

“Don't bother, he won't talk to you anyway,” the student said, getting the other's attention and both started talking with each other once again. Ryou didn't hear what was being said after that, he didn't care. It had stung. So that was what people were saying about him. He hadn't even thought that he had a reputation. They should have kept not noticing; no reputation was better than a bad one.

His food lay forgotten on his plate. He didn't feel like eating anymore so he got up and walked out of the cafeteria, after throwing away the rest of his food. Ryou had no idea where he was going but he wanted to go somewhere else. Maybe he could find a nice empty classroom he could spend the rest of the break in. But then again, maybe there was no classroom that would bother to be empty for him.  
Was he truly not worth any effort?

Ryou did find a room that had no one else in it and closed the door behind himself. He went to sit next to a window. It had been raining a lot that week and today was no exception. The drops hit the window and dripped down the glass, making the outside world look fuzzy. The view resembled Ryou's mind in some weird way, or maybe he was just in the mood for sad poetry.

He did feel bad, he did feel down but that didn't mean he was going to cry. No crying for him. Not over something as trivial as this. Tears were meant for situations where, for example, someone you loved died, not for something that some random person said in the cafeteria. Ryou had long ago made a decision that he would not cry ever again and he was planning to stick to it. And besides, this was no big deal, right?

Right.

He had a few classes to go to before he could get back home. His father had been fussing over the trip for the past week and Ryou had promised to help him pack. No matter that his father was putting work before his son, Ryou still loved him. He wasn't going to see his father for a month, so he might as well try and spend time with him. That meant that once his school day was over, he would go home and sort his father's stuff out for him. They could pack together once the man got home. It would be nice to spend time with his dad. He had promised to call Ryou every day and have his friend's son come over before he left so that they could meet. It was thoughtful of him, but Ryou still didn't think it was necessary.

The lunch break was almost over now and if he didn't want to be late for class, he had to get going. Maybe the rest of the day wouldn't be so bad.

xxx

The day could have gone better for Mariku. That morning he had gone to check out something he had seen in the newspaper; a potential job. The guy he had seen about it had said something about not wanting to hire any uneducated punk.

Mariku wasn't stupid. He wasn't highly educated but he had gone through high school and passed with good grades. The only reason he hadn't gone to university was that a certain bastard of a father had ruined his plans by throwing him out, thus leaving him with no money and nowhere to stay. He had a place now but it was no thanks to anyone except himself. He needed many low-paying jobs to earn the little money he had now, all of it for paying rent, food and other necessities. No chance to pay any school fees. Getting a scholarship had been an option, but there had been too much competition, too much pressure for someone working in a sick household. His high school had been top rated but a family with money and a sharp mind didn't guarantee a bright future. Mariku had learned that the hard way.

The teen let out a frustrated sigh and flopped on his couch. It was an old thing from some flee market and uncomfortable as hell. At least he had a couch. It would be nice if he also had a full time job but you can't have it all, now can you?

The clock on his cellphone showed half past four, which meant that Ryou was home. It was weird that he found himself liking the boy, and not just obsessing over him. Not something that happened every day. They might even be friends.

Without any conscious decision, he took his phone and dialed the number he had memorized, waiting for Ryou to answer.

“What? Um, I mean, hello?”

Mariku almost laughed at the greeting. Ryou was so cute. “Hi, guess who.”

“Ah Mariku, hi,” Ryou sounded happy to hear him, something that wasn't common in his life. “How are you?" Ryou continued, "I hope you had a better day than I did.”

“Not a chance in hell. What happened to make your day suck?”

“It was nothing really.”

Mariku fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Yeah, because 'nothing really' can ruin your day. Come on, tell me.”

There was a short pause. “Well, apart from school being murder, there was this one person who said that I shouldn't be bothered with since I wouldn't speak anyway... I know that might sound stupid but it sort of... hurt...”

Mariku wasn't the best at making someone feel better but he was good at speaking his mind, “Hmph, these people are obviously idiots.” He smirked. “They don't know what they're missing out on.” He could almost hear Ryou blush and he did hear him laugh. It was a sweet sound.

“Thanks, I would so tackle hug you right now if I could,” Ryou said.

“Too bad you can't do that through the phone then.”

There was some yelling in the background and he could hear Ryou yell something back before he spoke to Mariku again, “Listen, I have to go, my dad needs my help. Could you call again later? I have to help my dad pack...”

All fathers were pains in his existence. He agreed and after byes they hung up. He needed go grocery shopping; his fridge was near empty and he couldn't be much hungrier.

xxx

“Who was that?” Ryou's father asked once Ryou had came back to help him. “Was it the what's-his-name who keeps calling you again?”

“Yes, it was Mariku. You have to fold that before putting it in there,” Ryou told. His father knew about his phone calls because they occurred at night and that was the time his father was home, if he was home at all.

“Mm-hm, what have you been talking about?” the man asked, while packing.

Ryou shrugged. “Stuff, you know. When is your plane leaving?” He was avoiding the subject. There was no reason to tell his father any details, it wasn't like something terrible was going on. He got a look from his dad.

“Six a.m., Saturday morning. Is there something you're not telling me, Ryou?”

“Why would there be?” Ryou asked. “You have nothing to worry about, if anything, be happy that I have a friend.”

“It's just,” the man looked worried “Is that really a healthy kind of friendship? You can never know who he really is. I mean, what if the subjects start to turn... in to a different direction?” Now he looked more than worried.

Ryou didn't follow. “What do you mean?” he asked, feeling clueless about where this conversation was going.

“Ah well... What if he wants to talk about, more adult stuff? Like, what if he wants to have phone sex or something?”

Ryou stared, blinked and then stared some more. That had never even crossed his mind. It was weird that his father was so worried about subjects like that, wasn't it? Ryou wasn't a child anymore. “Dad! It's not like that! And besides,” he let out a forced laugh. “It's not like someone can be phone raped or anything. You're worried over nothing, honestly.”

His father didn't look convinced. “Well, if you say so...”

They continued packing in silence for a while before his father spoke up again, remembering something he was supposed to bring up.  
“Oh, I invited my old friend's his son over, he's coming tomorrow. You kids can get to know each other.”

“Who is this friend of yours, by the way, I don't think you ever mentioned that.”

“Do you remember Kazuki Mutou? He has been living out of the country for the past five years or so but he came to your eleventh birthday, remember?”

Ryou frowned in thought. Eleventh birthday... “Was he the guy with the hair?”

“Yes!” His father nodded and smiled.

“Oh him, I remember. Doesn't his father own the game shop?”

“Yes. Yuugi, his son, is living with the old man now and I'm sure you two will get along nicely. Though, I hope you don't mind if he talks about games. I believe it's some kind of obsession in their family,” the man was still smiling as he spoke, using his fond tone.

“I won't mind.” It made Ryou smile, too. “When will he be coming? After school or..?”

“Some time in the afternoon.”

Ryou was worried that they wouldn't get along. What if he couldn't think of anything to say? It would just go like all the other times he met new people and Yuugi would think that he was some kind of mute idiot. He didn't want that to happen. It would be rude of him to avoid this new boy and he couldn't do that, even though the option was appealing.

They finished packing and his father excused himself to go on a nap. Ryou decided that he should do his homework now before he needed to make dinner. There wasn't a huge amount of work to do but if he didn't do it now, it would just get pushed back until he was too tired to do it at all.

xxx

The next day went by too fast because Ryou was dreading the afternoon. Talking to Mariku last night hadn't helped, despite how good a distraction it had been. Mariku had told him that the meeting would go well, that he was worried over nothing. Ryou had a tough time believing him. He hoped Mariku was right but hoping wasn't the same as knowing.

After he came home from school, and noticed a note from his father saying that there were snacks in the cupboard and soda in the fridge, he still didn't feel any better. What would this person be like? His father had said that they would get along and of course he knew his own son, but.

He changed out of his school clothes and decided to make an exception and do his homework right after. The nervous feeling didn't go anywhere and it was still there when he went to open the door for his visitor. Ryou had to look down to notice the boy with large purple eyes and hair and all.

“Um, hello,” Ryou greeted him and got a smile for the effort.

“Hello, you must be Ryou, right? I'm Yuugi, hi.”

“Hi. Oh, come in,” Ryou said after realizing that he was his guest stand in the doorway. Yuugi laughed and stepped in, looking around while removing his shoes.

“You have a nice house, way bigger than ours too,” Yuugi commented.

“Thanks,” was all Ryou could think of saying to that. A silence commenced with their gazes moving from the walls to their toes, to the ceiling. It was awkward.

“So, are we going to just stand here?” Yuugi asked after a while. “I mean, um, we could like go to your room or something.”

“Oh yeah. Heh, sorry.” Ryou felt stupid as he led Yuugi to the living room, deciding that his room wasn't the best option with all the horror posters on his walls. “The living room will do better, I think.”

“Okay.” They sat down. “So...”

“Uh.”

They sat there, once in a while glancing at each other between looking around the room, trying to think of something to say. Was there something they could talk about? Common interests or something? Other than saying 'so' or 'um' all the time?

Ryou's attention was brought to Yuugi when he started laughing under his breath. “You know, this is really ridiculous. We're both so awkward.” Then he laughed a bit more before getting up and grabbing Ryou's hand suddenly starting to drag him upstairs. “Let's juts go to your room, ok? It's over here right?”

“Well, yes but-”

“Good, I just want to see what you're into, maybe we'll find something to talk about that way.”

“I don't think-,” Ryou didn't think that was a good idea. Yuugi would think that he was some kind of freak. They reached the room and Yuugi opened the door and went inside.

“Oh wow...” Yuugi said, looking at all the posters on the walls. Ryou was worried until he saw the excited smile on Yuugi's face. “You really like this kind of stuff, don't you?”

“Yeah. It's sort of an obsession of mine,” Ryou admitted.

“That's great! You got to have obsessions. See?” He pointed at his Kame Game Shop shirt, that was full of pictures of different kinds of games, and grinned.

Ryou couldn't help but smile; he didn't feel half as worried or awkward anymore. “I guess so. What kind of games are you into?” he asked.

“Mostly strategy but I'm not picky. How do you like your horror? Do you watch movies or read books too?”

“I prefer psychological horror, actually, I read some too but mostly watch movies.”

They moved to sit down, Yuugi on the desk chair and Ryou on the bed. Even though their interests had little in common, the under lying obsession was the same and Yuugi could tell about horror games and Ryou could talk about horror movies that involved games. It was nice to talk to someone who was as obsessed about something. Ryou discovered that his father had been right; they did get along nicely.

xxx

Since it was almost nine, Mariku decided to call to Ryou before it got too late. It took longer than usual for Ryou to pick up, and when he did, he sounded like he had been laughing hard about something.

“Hi! Bakura residence, how may I help you?” Ryou laughed, followed by more laughter in the background.

“You could tell me why you're so cheerful.”

“I think that- Wait a sec I have to get out of Yuugi's range. Stop it, I'm on the phone!”

Mariku waited for a while, and when Ryou spoke to him again, he asked the question bothering him. “Who is Yuugi?”

“Remember the son of my father's friend who I mentioned? Yeah, that's him.”

“Oh, have fun? Told you it would go well.” What was it that this Yuugi needed to stop while Ryou was on the phone?

“Yes, that you did and you were right.” Ryou sneezed. “Sorry, I have feathers in my pillow.”

Mariku failed to see how that was relevant but didn't comment on it. The only thing going through his mind was that Ryou had someone over and was having the time of his life. That someone wasn't him; it was some random guy whose father happened to know Ryou's father.

“Look, I think I will have to go now. Sorry, talk to you later, ok?” Ryou said.

“Ok. Bye.” Mariku hung up before Ryou had the chance to say another word. This wasn't right. What happened to him being such a good friends with Ryou? Now it was ok to not talk to him when there was some guy over who Ryou had just met. It was him who knew Ryou better, not some Yuugi. What kind of name was that anyway?

He noticed that he was holding his cell in such a strong grip that there was a fair chance that it would break any second. He didn't care. He needed to get out and clear his head, to think of a way to fix this. He was sure that there was one and he would find it.

Ryou was not some Yuugi's. Technically, he wasn't Mariku's either, that didn't matter to the teen right now. He wouldn't let technicalities get in his way.


	4. Chapter 4

Last afternoon and night had been one of the best in Ryou's life. He couldn't remember a time when he had had so much fun. He did have fun while talking to Mariku but that was different; they couldn't spend time with each other face-to-face.

Yuugi had ended up staying the night because their talk and pillow fight had made the time fly by faster than they realized. When they noticed the time, it had got too late for Yuugi to walk back home by himself. It had felt like a sleep-over. Although, Yuugi had to leave early the next morning since they both had school and he hadn't brought his school supplies. Ryou's father had come home during the early hours and given Yuugi a lift before heading back to work. The boys had agreed to hang out after school. Ryou couldn't wait. He had noticed that he had been hung up on last night, but he hadn't had the time to think about it. He had been hit on the head with a soft object and all thoughts of Mariku had disappeared.

School was worse now that he had something to look forward to, something other than returning to an empty house. The day dragged on so slowly that he was starting to suspect that all the clocks in the school had stopped. Then, the blessed bell rang and he ran out to catch the earlier bus. He just made it in time and was a whole ten minutes ahead of schedule.

After getting changed and eating, he was too restless to wait. Ryou headed to the city center, where they had agreed to meet. The sun peeked from behind the clouds as he walked to waste some time and enjoy the weather. He would have preffered rain but it didn't matter, as wasting time was the main goal. Standing around waiting for the bus, or Yuugi, no matter the weather, was too boring to think about.

After about a half an hour walk, Ryou reached their meeting spot; in front of an arcade. He didn't have to wait long before he saw the unique hair in the crowd. Soon, Yuugi was standing in front of him and was greeted with a smile that got returned.

“Hey, let's go in already,” Yuugi said and they both entered the noisy place packed full of people, some younger and some their age.  
Ryou had never been there before, not being the kind of person who liked to stuff himself into a space that was already so full. His new friend had told him that he would like it, and if he didn't, they could go somewhere else.

“Did you have to wait long?” Yuugi asked above the shouts of excitement.

“No, I just got here.”

“Good, I walked from school with my friends and it took longer,” Yuugi told. “Maybe you should meet them sometime? They're an ok bunch, I'm sure you would get along.”

Ryou hesitated; new people, or worse yet, lots of new people weren't his thing. “I'm sure they're ok but...” He trailed off, not sure how to say it. “I don't think that's a very good idea...”

Yuugi nodded. “That's ok, you don't have to. I used to be really self-conscious around other people too, but I don't have such a bad case of shyness anymore, all thanks to my friends,” he said. Ryou was glad that he understood. “But anyway.” Yuugi grinned. “I want to win some games. Come on.”

“Tch, you wish; I'm a fast learner,” Ryou told with a smile as they headed for the games.

xxx

As his ever so wonderful luck would have it, he had just reached another dead end and now it seemed next to impossible to find anything that could be labeled as a job. True to his life philosophy of 'If you want something, you will have to get up from your lazy ass and get it yourself', Mariku hadn't just sat on his ass at home and waited for the job to come to him, but had gone to it, only to find nothing in the other end. And that wasn't even all, no no, it was his life after all so nothing went right. There he was, in one of his worst moods, when an all too familiar voice pierced his skull in a way no other could and gathered all of his pissed-off-without-end mind's attention. The other end he wanted to try his life philosophy on, was walking down the street with someone he couldn't recognize. A weird, short kid with way too big eyes and... hair. Just hair. Not that his was much better but at least it didn't have all the colors of the rainbow in it.

Adding two and two together, which included the fact that Ryou wasn't the most social person and had one friend that he was aware of, himself excluded, he knew that this must be Yuugi. In his own world where two plus two equaled Yuugi, Mariku felt like laughing. That thing was nothing to be worried about!

But then the bright sound of Ryou's laughter got to him. His head snapped to look at the two, eyes fixing on the one that held his attention and underlying obsession. Ryou was laughing. It was the sweetest sound, and the way he looked when he smiled was making Mariku feel so sappily poetic that he wanted to gag. The problem was who the smiles were directed toward. That thing who made Ryou laugh and smile with such ease. That thing who got to spend time with Ryou.

“Oh for fuck's sake...” It had just grabbed Ryou's hand and was dragging him off somewhere! Mariku felt the powerful urge to just dig those way-too-big-for-a-such-a-small-person -eyes right out. Maybe he could chop off its hand while he was at it. He bet it would scream its little lungs out, and then, die from blood loss.

But as appealing as the thought was to him, there was no way he could do it. In the day light. Ryou would hate him forever if he saw Mariku kill that thing. There was no way he could hurt it without hurting Ryou in the process.

Mariku decided to settle for tailing them for a while. It wasn't like he had anything better to do.

xxx

Ryou decided that he had enough arcade for one life time. Being a fast learner did help against Yuugi, who royally kicked his butt in everything. Not that he was a sore loser, nor was Yuugi a bad winner, but he just wanted to get out. So he had suggested that they go to one his favorite spots: the harbor. They were on their way down the street when Yuugi said that he was hungry, so Ryou let himself to be dragged to the nearest fast food place. After eating, they continued on their merry way. Ryou couldn't help the strange feeling of being followed. He mentioned it to Yuugi and they kept an eye out. When they didn't spot anyone suspicious, Yuugi shrugged it off and Ryou decided to do the same.

On their way to the harbor, Ryou's eyes wandered while they chatted about something or other. On the other side of the street, walking in a casual, confident manner, was a man he recognized but didn't remember why, at first. Then it hit him. It was the guy who had been looking at him at the harbor back then! What a strange co-incidence.

Ryou realized that he had stared a moment too long when the man turned to look at him. From all the way across the street, he could see the raised eyebrow, followed by a smirk. Ryou blushed and looked away. He didn't dare to look again, keeping his eyes forward at all times, even when Yuugi spoke to him.

“Ryou? Are you ok?” Yuugi asked. “You look kind of flushed.”

“What? Oh I'm fine,” Ryou hurried to assure.

Yuugi wasn't convinced. “Are you sure?” he asked, then followed Ryou's previous line of sight. Yuugi glanced a couple of times between Ryou, who was still not looking anywhere but forward, and the man across the street. Then he smiled in a knowing and amused way, but didn't comment, to Ryou's relief.

They made it to the harbor without incidents after that. As the sun hit the water, it sparkled, creating a view to behold. It was a nice way to spend time, just to find a place to sit and either chat about something or be silent. They did just that until it was time to head home before it got too dark and dangerous to wander the streets.

“Maybe we should go,” Ryou said, while looking at the sea, not wanting to leave but knowing that they should.

“Yeah,” Yuugi agreed. They got up and began walking back toward the city center. “I guess I'll see you around or something?” he asked.

Ryou nodded with a smile. “Sure.”

“When is your dad leaving again?”

“Oh, this Saturday morning. Feel free to drop by anytime, though.”

“Same goes for you. You know where the game shop is, right?” Yuugi asked.

“Yes. I'll come over sometime. If that's alright with you,” Ryou hurried to add the last part, not to be too invading. He still wasn't completely sure how to behave in the new friendship.

“Of course it is,” Yuugi assured as they walked along, coming to a street corner. “This is my turn. Bye then.”

“Bye!” Ryou called after him. Maybe he should take a public transport. He did feel tired so he decided that it would be better than walking.

xxx

Later that evening, when Ryou had had dinner and done his homework, he settled to read a book. It was a horror anthology by one of his favorite authors. Reading was different from watching a movie because the reader's imagination dictated how scared they got, rather than atmosphere. Ryou tended towards too much imagination. Being scared made him feel alive. His one non-horror book, bough to calm him down enough to sleep, gathered dust somewhere under the bed.

He was reading through a life-or-death situation, when his phone rang. Ryou snapped out of the world of the book and back to the reality. Having a hunch of who it was, he smiled as he picked up the phone from his night stand.

“Hi!” he chirped. “How are you?”

“Wonderful as always,” Mariku said. He sounded anything but happy. Ryou frowned, but said nothing “How did things go with what's-his-name?”

“Oh, you mean Yuugi?" he asked, regaining most of his excitement from earlier that day. "Great! He's really nice and all. I'm so happy to finally have a friend.”

“To finally have a friend,” Mariku repeated, voice hollow.

Ryou realized his mistake and hurried to correct it, “I didn't mean it like that! I'm sorry, bad choice of words. Sorry.”

“Yes, I'm sure,” Mariku snarled. “Now that you have your precious Yuugi, what would you need me for?”

“What?” Ryou couldn't help but ask, confused about where the venom came from. “It's not like that, really!”

“Of course it's not.” Mariku's voice took a different tone; dark and smooth. It scared Ryou more than any yelling could. If this was an expression of anger then maybe he needed to explain himself?

“M-Mariku, please listen.”

“No, you listen,” he interrupted. “How would you feel if your important place in someone's life was taken by a childish brat?”

“What? I,” Ryou started.

“Shut up!” Mariku interrupted him again but after that his turned calmer. “All I want to do is to find the nearest sharp object and dig those big eyes right out.”

Ryou knew he should be concerned about his friend's welfare but,Yuugi did have big eyes.“How do you know..?” Ryou asked, not managing to finish his question.

“But,” Mariku continued, ignoring the question. “Of course I can't do that, now can I? If I were to hurt your precious friend, that would also hurt you, my sweet Ryou.”

“Please...” He meant to ask him not to hurt Yuugi but that wasn't to be the essential question here. “What's wrong with you?” Ryou was surprised at how calm his voice was, like his shock over the change in the other's behavior had pushed his fear aside for the moment.

“Wrong? Why would something be wrong?”

“I'm hanging up,” he said, tone informative.

A chuckle from the other end. “I'll just have to call some other time then. Bye.”

Ryou hung up and got up from his bed, going to close the curtains. It felt like a good idea, taking turn of events into account. After the curtains were pulled, he went back to his bed, needing to sit down. He took a deep breath, trying to sort out his thoughts, without much success. What had just happened?

xxx

Mariku sat back on his couch and wondered if he had fucked up. Ryou hadn't sounded scared, for some reason. Not that Mariku had meant to scare him. But when he had been told about what a great time Ryou had had and how wonderful a person Yuugi was, he had lost his mind.

_“I'm so happy to finally have a friend.”_

Snap. Everything flew right out the window. So now he wasn't Ryou's friend? Not even a friend? He needed to figure out what it was about Ryou that made him snap. Letting other people affect him wasn't his style. Right now he had more important things to ponder on, like how he wanted to approach the problem. He couldn't do much to Yuugi, nor could he just show up on Ryou's doorstep. After what had happened, the boy was sure to have a heart attack upon seeing him in the flesh.

If one thing was good about the situation, it was that Ryou had sounded more concerned about Mariku's current state of mind than he had been about that thing's well being. Maybe Mariku hadn't fucked up after all. This all had too many variables for his taste. Not good. He had to get rid of them, soon.

Xxx

_“I'm not an evil phone stalker you know”_

“Liar...” It was obvious that that's what Mariku was. Maybe evil wasn't the right word. A disturbed stalker. How else would he know about the eyes? A lucky guess? Ryou doubted it. That meant Mariku lived in the same city. How had he found him? Why him? Domino wasn't a small city, there were a lot of people to stalk. There was no reason for Mariku to pick him; there were more interesting people. There had to be. Though, Mariku was never bored while talking to him.

“Oh please...” That guy was some kind of a maniac! It didn't matter if he was bored or not! Was he going to hurt Yuugi? Ryou hoped not. Should he call the police?

_“Of course I can't do that, now can I? If I were to hurt your precious friend, that would also hurt you, my sweet Ryou.”_

He couldn't trust the words. But he had to admit, it did made him feel important, somehow. Mariku had said, whatever his word was worth, that he wouldn't hurt Yuugi because that would hurt Ryou. And he had called Ryou his. The reason why Mariku had lost it, was because Ryou had said something about Yuugi being his only friend, though that wasn't what he had meant to say. Or did it go all the way back to the night of the sleep over? He had just ignored it at the time, but Mariku had sounded strange back then. It was almost like he had been jealous. That would explain the behavior just moments ago. But why would someone be jealous over him of all people? He was getting sidetracked. The point was that he was stalked by some disturbed guy with who knows what intentions. That was a good reason to be scared. And he was, now that the situation was starting to sink in after the first shock. This was no movie, it was his own, real life.

He felt more alive than ever.


	5. Chapter 5

Somewhere within the time Ryou spent sitting on his bed, trying to sort out his thoughts, he decided that the best course of action was to call Yuugi. To warn him away. Ryou held the cell phone on his hand, ready to make the call. What if Mariku called in the meanwhile? Ryou needed to find out what was his problem. He wanted to hear the voice, the same one that could make him smile, blush, and laugh. The one that could make him fear for his safety, scared about what could happen to his friend. Ryou wondered if he enjoyed the whole situation on some twisted level.

The answer was yes, he did enjoy it. It made him feel. Like the horror movies did. Like thunder did. Like his life so far had failed to do. And it was all caused by Mariku. Ryou wasn't sure if he should love him for it or hate him for it, perhaps both. The two emotions weren't so far apart.

He should call Yuugi. It was getting late and Ryou wasn't sure if Yuugi had gone to bed. The call couldn't wait for tomorrow. Ryou had to do it now, before he had second thoughts again.

Yuugi sounded tired when he picked up. “Ryou..? Why are you calling now? Is something wrong?”

“Actually,” he began. “No, I'm sorry I called now but um, you shouldn't come here anymore. Not for a while at least.”

“What? Why?”

“Please Yuugi, it's important that you do as I say. I can't tell you why but please don't come here and don't call me either.”

“Ryou, there's something wrong,” Yuugi started but wasn't allowed to finish.

“I have to go now. Please.”

“Ry..!”

Ryou hung up. He didn't want Yuugi to get in trouble because of him. Yuugi had been so nice to him, and a wonderful friend during the short time they had known each other. He didn't need to get involved with any of this mess.

It was Friday tomorrow. Ryou wasn't sure if he wanted to go to school. It would be better if he didn't, but that would raise suspicions and he didn't want that, either. He would go and it would be for the same reason he hadn't called the police. If Mariku got caught, this would all end. A good as any reason to do the exact opposite of what he was planning to do.

His father would notice, but he left for his trip the day after tomorrow. Ryou would be alone. Easy prey for anyone who wanted to hunt. He wondered if Mariku wanted to, or if he preferred to taunt from afar. Ryou wasn't sure which option he liked more.

xxx

Mariku, and his family, had known he had problems from a young age. Everything from sleeping problems, to violence, to mental health issues. To money problems. It became apparent as he looked in his empty fridge and was happy that it was Friday. Tomorrow, and the day after that, he would go to his job and earn the money for the next week. The money got him through the week, fed him, and bought gas for his motorcycle. He made rent most months, with odd jobs.

And paid the phone bill.

He had avoided using his own phone when calling Ryou. The more he needed to save for his bills, the less he had to fill his fridge. He could go without eating for the weekend, no problem, but it made him wonder. What good had it done for him to have this thing for the boy? He called it a thing for a lack of a better word for it. 'Obsession' came pretty close but it had a nasty ring to it.

It had done nothing good. He supposed that he had had a friend. Now he had a hobby. The thought made Mariku laugh out loud. What a great hobby. One of those that steal all your sleep and take everything you have, while giving nothing in return.

He had not slept last night, too wrapped up in his latest Ryou-hobby. It gave him a strange kick to have such an affect on the boy. At least he still had that, and no one could take it away. Ryou had everything Mariku felt but he could not have that. There was a sense of power in it, slipping away from him more and more. He had thought that he was all about control, and strong enough to keep it, but with this thing, he was slipping, unable to stay on top.

xxx

Ryou dragged his tired self to school that Friday. The sleepless night had almost overpowered him, but the thought of being under a watchful eye helped to keep him up. Who ever said that paranoia was bad for you? The adrenalin was better than caffeine. Ryou had both as he tried to keep his focus on school, not on every suspicious passerby.

How would he know when a person, walking down the street outside the school, was Mariku and not just some random nameless guy? He guessed that there was no way he could know. He didn't have a clue what Mariku looked like. They had never described their outward appearance during their phone conversations.

His seat during the school day was by the window, so he spent his day keeping an eye out for suspicious looking people. Everyone looked suspicious to him.

By the time lunch break came, Ryou had been scolded by teachers, and sent to stand in the hall for not paying attention several times. He wasn't going to learn anything today, and he was punished because he had bothered to come at all.

During lunch, Ryou sneaked off, took the bus home and locked himself inside the house. He made sure that the curtains were drawn and sat on his bed, not knowing what to do next. As he had skipped lunch, he decided to make food his top priority. That meant that he would have to unlock the door of his room, and go downstairs. He tip-toed before realizing that was dumb, and sprinted down the stairs, to the kitchen, grabbing the first edible thing he found and running back up.

Having something in his stomach made him feel better. Until it almost jumped back up his throat when his phone rang.

“H-hello?” Ryou wasn't sure if he sounded excited or fearful, maybe a mixture of both.

“Ryou? You sound so jumpy. Is there something wrong?” came his father's voice from the other end. In all his hurry to answer, Ryou had forgot to check the caller ID.

Ryou took a deep breath to calm his nerves. “Dad, no, I'm fine. Is there a reason you're calling?”

“Ah yes. Could you bring my bags down? I'll be there in five minutes.”

“But why? I thought you were leaving tomorrow?”

“Well, there has been a change of plans. Something about the airplane company we're using going on strike. Tomorrow's flight got canceled. You know, foreign companies.”

“Um yeah,” Ryou mumbled, not knowing anything about these foreign companies his father was referring to, but figuring that he should agree. “I'll get your stuff,” he said with a sigh. These things happened.

“Thank you. Oh, I'm almost there, bye.”

What was a one more day of being alone when compared to most of his life? It was no big deal.  
Ryou dragged the bags downstairs and near the front door. Soon, his father was there to pick them up before leaving. The man was gathering them when Ryou asked:

“Dad? How did you know that I wasn't at school?”

His father looked at him. “The teacher's meeting is today, isn't it? There was that note you brought me about it.”

“Oh yeah,” he felt stupid for not remembering. There had been more important things on his mind.

“Are you sure you're ok? Are you getting sick?” the man asked, looking worried.

For a moment Ryou felt like telling his dad everything; he would know what to do and the problem would be solved. Ryou wouldn't have to lie. But the moment passed was pushed aside by the memory of pure boredom. He forced himself to smile in a way he hoped was reassuring. “I'm fine, don't worry about me, dad. You just go before you miss your flight, and have fun. Or as much fun as you can have anyway,” Ryou said. His father was fooled enough to smile back and pat Ryou's hair.

“I can always try. Take care and call me if you need anything, we'll keep in touch, ok?”

Ryou nodded. “Of course. I'll see you in a month.”

“Yes. Oh my, I have to go now, bye!” The man ran out the door and into the waiting car. Ryou stayed by the door and waved after him, tears starting to stream down his face. He was on his way to becoming a good liar. He felt bad for not telling his father what was going on, felt bad for lying and for doing it so well that his father had bought it. Ryou had never liked lying.

As Ryou closed the door, he heard the familiar ring tone from his room. It couldn't be his father this time. He ran the stairs and took his phone from his night stand. Unknown caller. There were three people who knew his number, not including school staff, and only one of them called from an unknown number.

“...Mariku?” he asked. The strange mixture of fear and excitement intensified.

“Ryou.”

Never had his own name made him shudder so. “W-what-Why are you calling?”

“I told you I would call again, didn't I? Not happy to hear me?”

“No, you're insane, you should get help,” Ryou told and heard how the other laughed. It made his heart beat harder, whether from fear or something else, he didn't know. It was all a mess. This was all a terrible, wonderful mess.

“That might be true. The insane don't know their own insanity, otherwise they would be, well, sane, don't you think?” Mariku asked once he had stopped laughing.

Ryou didn't reply, asking his own question instead, “Why are you doing this?”

“Hmm, that is an interesting question.”

He waited for an answer but it wasn't coming so he repeated, “Why? What's in it for you?”

“I have my kick. You have already taken all else, my sweet.”

“What do you mean? I don't understand.” He had never taken anything. How could he have? He had nothing to take anything with.

“Well, maybe you should think about that then.” Mariku hung up. Ryou held the phone to his ear for a few seconds before realizing that he should put it down. He was confused. If anything, wasn't it Mariku who had taken something from him? His good night sleep and bits of his sanity, for example.

Ryou doubted it worked both ways.

xxx

For the sake of his sanity, Mariku had forced himself to hang up. In truth, if he valued his mental health, he wouldn't have called Ryou. He had had to hear that voice. It was like a drug, satisfying his need for a short while, only to leave him graving for another dose.

He had work tomorrow, something to take his mind off Ryou. It had to do him good to get out of the apartment. He couldn't go on feeling so hungry and drained. It had to help.

It had to help.

xxx

Ryou spent Saturday locked inside. He got a couple hours of sleep, despite his mind bouncing off the walls. Books and TV were great distractions. His father had called, tired but otherwise ok. Ryou hadn't been able to rid himself of the quilt of lying to his father. It made him wonder if some excitement was worth it.

The doorbell rang. The sound made Ryou jump. He went to get the door, checking who it was through the peep hole before opening.  
He wanted the person to go away.

“Yuugi, hi... You shouldn't be here,” Ryou told. He shouldn't have opened the door. Yuugi looked worried and it made Ryou feel worse.

“I know you told me not to come but you seriously worry me, Ryou. Can't you tell me what's wrong?”

Ryou shook his head. “No, I really can't. You have to leave now,” he informed and moved to close the door.

“Wait! I know something is wrong. Why won't you tell me? I can help you.”

Ryou stopped his door closing attempt and sighed. “Listen, Yuugi. Trust me when I say that it's better if you don't know. You can't help me, but help yourself and leave me alone.” Yuugi's hurt expression was the perfect mirror for his own emotions. Ryou didn't want to be so harsh, he didn't want to drive his friend away but it was for the better. If Yuugi left and didn't come back, he would be safe.

“Ryou, you're my friend, if you're in trouble I can't just leave you.” Yuugi was close to yelling, the hurt and worry in his eyes making Ryou want to cry.

“You have to. Please. I care about you, really, you've been such a wonderful friend. I don't want any harm to come to you,” Ryou said and hugged Yuugi. “I'm sorry,” he whispered before letting go. “Go already! I don't want you here! Leave me alone!” he yelled, taking Yuugi by surprise. “Leave! Just go away, you're not wanted here anymore!” His eyes were burning but he was determent not to cry, not now when he had to get Yuugi to leave. Yuugi looked hurt and at a loss of what to do. “Go away!” Ryou grabbed a random shoe and threw it at Yuugi. It didn't hit but it had the effect he was hoping for. Yuugi backed away a few steps before turning and running.

Ryou let a lone tear fall as he watched his retreating friend's back. “I'm so sorry,” he whispered as Yuugi disappeared behind a corner.  
He closed the door and went up to his room. He just wanted to sleep. Yuugi's face haunted his dreams.

xxx

Getting out of the apartment hadn't helped. Mariku had dreamed of Ryou last night. The whole dream had been a blur of images, but the voice had been so clear. Ryou had been calling out to him, sounding as sweet as ever. The voice was ringing through his head, making him feel like he was losing the last bits of his sanity. He had to do something.

Mariku's answer was to go straight to the source. He parked his motorcycle a few blocks away, and sought a hideout behind a fence of bushes. The first thing he saw that Yuugi standing before Ryou, saying something. What was it doing here? Ryou looked sad as he spoke to that thing who answered with as sad and worried a look on its face. Then Ryou hugged the kid. It was short lived but made Mariku's blood boil. How come Yuugi got a hug? Of course, it didn't even cross his jealousy driven mind that it was a lot easier to hug someone who you had met.

The thing that happened next caught him off guard. Ryou started chasing the kid away, hell bent on getting him to leave, even throwing something. Ryou had an amazingly bad aim but he made the kid to run off. Mariku wondered what had happened. Too bad he hadn't heard what had been said. He should ask.

He waited for the kid to get out of sight and for Ryou to close the door before moving from his hiding spot. He had known where Ryou lived for some time but had staid away out of respect, or worry. Whatever had held him back was gone.

He had come to the source of his dangerous, addicting Ryou-hobby. Without a plan. Mariku knew he had to do something to gain control over the situation before it went too far.


	6. Chapter 6

There he was, sleeping soundly on his bed, on his side and facing Mariku.

Mariku left his shoes by the window and made his way to the bed. He tore his eyes away from the sleeping boy for a few seconds to take a look around. A small smirk made its way to his face; the room looked so like Ryou. The walls, few pieces of furniture and the carpet were all in soft colors, but horror posters covered most of the walls. A powerful contrast. And the door was locked from the inside.

Ryou stirred, nuzzling his pillow and making some of his hair fall on his face. The boy made an annoyed sound, wrinkling his nose and turning half way on his back. Mariku couldn't say that Ryou looked peaceful when he slept but he did look pretty with his hair messy and lips parted to let out breath. Suddenly, it was obvious to Mariku that he had never been this close to the boy, only about a half a meter away. His fingers itched to touch that beautiful being, sleeping so innocently, looking so vulnerable. His hand shook as he reached out to brush on the hair, letting his fingers skim over the forehead and one eyebrow, wondering how could the brows and lashes be black while the hair was white.

The small touch was electrifying but he didn't want Ryou to wake up, not yet, so he had to be careful. What self-control he had almost slipped away from him when the boy yawned in his sleep, stretching, making the shirt ride up so a line of pale skin was revealed, letting his hands rest on the pillow just above his head. Then, as a cherry on top, a pink tongue darted to wet the lips.

Mariku wanted to close his eyes and take a deep a breath to calm himself but couldn't, afraid that the innocently seductive sight in front of him would disappear if he did. “God...” He had suddenly became a fair believer of god. If there was something like this, there had to be a god. Either that or he was in Hell and this was his punishment. Now that he thought about it, he was sure that the later was closer to the truth. This felt more like a punishment.

The thought of that Yuugi having gotten to be so close to Ryou, mentally and physically, irked him now more than ever. He grinned, no matter; he was here now, wasn't he?

xxx

Ryou had been asleep just a few seconds ago, feeling comfortable, except for the light tickling of his hair, but now there was something else that tickled his face. Like warm blows of air. It was making him annoyed even in his half conscious state. He had never delt well with anything that felt like tickling and he just wanted to sleep, so he moved his hand to swap the source of air away from his face. His hand made contact with something solid.

His eyes opened lazily, seeing a blurry image of a tanned face. A face. What was a face doing there? Ryou was pretty sure that there hadn't been one when he had gone to sleep. He blinked a few times, his mind starting to wake up and come to a conclusion: there was a stranger hovering over him. He opened his mouth to yell, before recognition metaphorically bitch-slapped him.

“Hello Ryou, what a nice way to greet someone.”

That voice. Ryou's eyes widened; he could recognize it anywhere. The yell that had formed in his throat refused to come out even though now would have been a good time for that. But then again, there was no one else in the house and there was only a slight possibility that he could yell loud enough for the neighbors to hear. So what would be the point?

Ryou gulped, his breathing getting heavier. Out of fear. It was out of fear. It would be twisted and sick of him to be even the slightest bit excited by being alone with this insane guy. With no escape, in his mercy. That fact that he wasn't, didn't stop the thought sending a shiver down his spine.

“Aw no 'Hi Mariku'?” Mariku asked. “How rude.”

A pathetic sounding small noise was all Ryou could answer to that. He felt as his thoughts raced, he was still unable to produce any sound that could form an understandable word that could be qualified as an intelligent answer.

“Cat caught your tongue?” Mariku asked, voice then lowering to an almost threatening tone. “Too bad for the cat, now I must punish it for getting there first.”

Ryou gasped when his mouth was sealed by a much hungrier one, parted lips providing an easy access. It took him a while to come to his senses but when he did, he squeezed his eyes shut and bit down as hard as he could, tasting the metallic taste of the other's blood. Then he used his hands to push Mariku off and his foot to kick him to the side, making him fall off the bed.

The boy sat up, in his panic not knowing what to do next and backing off, pulling his legs to himself. It didn't take long for Mariku to sit up on the floor, fixing his eyes on Ryou. A smirk formed as he licked off the small trail of blood falling down from the side of his lips.  
Ryou glanced between Mariku and the door. He wouldn't make it, he would have to open the lock and- Wait, the lock? The door was still locked, how-? The curtain flapped on the background. Ryou felt like hitting himself; sure he had locked the doors but forgot the windows... He, of all people, should know by now that the ones that wanted to get in never used the door. When the going gets tough, the tough get going but Ryou gets stupid.

“Way to go Ryou...” he mumbled. A chuckle made him remember that he should mentally beat himself up for this little mishap some other time. There were more important matters at hand right now.

“Often talk to yourself?” Mariku asked from his spot on the floor, tilting his head to a side. The way he sat there, eyes on Ryou and this small unreadable expression behind them, reminded the boy of a cat that had seen something interesting and was getting ready to bounce. He was missing a tail to move from side to side. One false move on Ryou's part could make him bounce.

“...Sometimes, yes,” Ryou answered, wishing that he could get rid of the blood in his mouth without having to swallow it. At least it wasn't his own... It felt so surreal somehow, to be sitting in his room, opposite to the guy who he had been talking to for some time now and who he had unknowingly already met. The person he had been attracted to was the same one that had first been his friend and then later on, his tormentor.

Mariku opened his mouth to say something but whatever it was, Ryou would never know. As the other's lips parted to let out sound, a few drops of blood dripped out. A thought came to Ryou; it was the same blood that he had in his mouth at the moment, the bleeding was caused by him, Ryou, the boy who never hurt anyone. Of course, this was different from any situation he had ever been in but that didn't stop the underlying panic from rising. Ryou watched wide eyed as Mariku licked the blood off again, staring at the boy while doing it. Mariku made a disgusted face, turning his head, spitting it on the carpet. During that short period of time, Ryou jumped up and ran, some part of his brain telling him that running was a bad idea, while some other part was yelling him to run faster.

His shoulder connected with the door as he twisted the knob. The lock broke under the impact, but from the feel of it, Ryou suspected that something else might have broken as well, or been dislocated. That didn't matter to him now. He could almost feel Mariku's breath on the back of his neck. He was glad that he couldn't run upstairs because that was all that was missing from this picture, aside from him having a shrill screaming voice, big breasts and blond hair. Oh and Mariku would also need some sort of weapon, like a chainsaw.

Ryou ran down the stairs, an uncounted number of stairs with one step, and took a turn towards the front door. If he could make it out, there was bound to be someone outside.

The door was there, right in front of his nose when he remembered the pain from colliding to a door and slowed down to open the door this time.

The door opened, Ryou was relieved.

The door was slammed shut by a hand grasping the knob from behind, Ryou ran straight into the closing door with a startled yell.

His hand flew to his pained nose as he fell back on something, or someone. Ryou held his bleeding nose, feeling frustrated now that he had almost escaped. It had been so close!

The door got locked by one hand reaching over Ryou and an arm circled around his waist. The chest he was forced to lean on rose and fell in a steady pace, faster than normal but slower than Ryou's.

“Mm, that was fun...” whispered Mariku in the boy's ear and Ryou couldn't help but notice how good it felt to be pressed against the other. With that realization, he started to think back on his life, after all he couldn't know if he would live to see the next day. The last time when he had been held by anyone was back when his mother had still been alive; not even a decent hug after that. He was a person too, he needed human contact and if he was going to die today, he might as well make the best of it. So he leaned back, trying to relax.

“Well, maybe you should let me run away again,” Ryou suggested, keeping annoyance out of his voice; his escape attempt had been a game to the other? Didn't that mean that he never had a chance in the first place?

There was a pause; Mariku must have noticed the change in Ryou. What would the point of running around or fighting back be? The last attempt to run had been a game and if he were to die, who would miss him? Maybe Yuugi, for a while, but he would get over it; he and Ryou had only known each other for a little while. No one would feel sad for long because of someone they barely even knew. And his dad... Well, he would move on and keep doing his job, just like he had done when his wife and daughter had died. That was all the people Ryou could think of that would care. The thought was sad, it made him feel lonely, like he had somehow failed at life.

Then there was Mariku, of course, how could he ever forget for as long as he lived, no matter how short that would be. Ryou didn't think that he would feel bad about him dying. How could he if he was the one killing him? Ryou thought that Mariku would get some kind of sick pleasure of it, and that way, because Ryou would be the cause of that, he wouldn't be a complete failure. He could be the source of whatever kind of twisted delight for the other. And that would be only fair after the joy Mariku had brought in his life during the short time they had been friends.

When Ryou had reached his decision, he could relax and as Mariku let go a bit, out of shock over the sudden change, he turned around and reached up to take a hold of the other's hair before pulling him down to a kiss. Ryou had little idea why he was doing what he was but the physical contact felt great. He needed a way to show his surrender. If he was going to die, he didn't want to die without ever having kissed anyone.

If Mariku hadn't been shocked before, he was now. The shock was short lived before Ryou was violently pushed against the locked door and his mouth was invaded by the still bleeding tongue. Ryou's nose was bloody too and the blood fell past and into their mouths but they didn't care.

Ryou grabbed some more hair, licking the wounded tongue. He moaned into the kiss, thinking that if this was going to be his first and last kiss, he could have picked a worse partner. Mariku had a strong arm around him as the other hand went to pull his head back to gain more control. Ryou felt like passing out, whether it was from the lack of air or from something else, he didn't care. The taste of their mixed blood and the whole feel of it, the body heat and the want, was making Ryou feel high. Mariku hadn't pushed him away when he had kissed him. Instead he had kissed back, wanting to kiss him, wanting to kiss Ryou. There was someone who wanted him, even if it was so that he could be raped and brutally murdered. It felt good to be wanted.

Wasn't it ironical that the one person who seemed to want to harm him, was also the one who managed to make him feel so much? With those thoughts, Ryou passed out.

xxx

Whatever Mariku had expected to happen when he came to pay Ryou a visit, it hadn't been this. Not that he had minded, but it had been shocking and surprising. First Ryou had been so scared of him and then the next second he had kissed him! Wait. Not only kissed, more like made out with, no holding back or anything! Maybe that boy had some serious issues. Too bad that he had passed out.

Once Mariku had felt Ryou go lax, and had recovered from his first surprise over the sudden unconsciousness, he had taken the boy to the living room and put him on the couch. A much bigger and softer couch than the one he had. The boy's shoulder looked off, but since Mariku wasn't a doctor, he had little idea what might be wrong with it. The nose looked bad but it had stopped bleeding, along with his own tongue. That show of spine had made Ryou more appealing to him. Not to mention the nice but unexpected twist. It seemed that there was much more to Ryou than met the eye. Mariku was glad that the boy wasn't just another pretty face. This could get very interesting. He wiped some of the blood from Ryou's face off, fingers brushing past the bruised lips and nose. Even in his current state of unruly hair and clothes, and bloody nose, Ryou looked beautiful. The roughed up look added to his natural beauty.

Mariku was having an inner debate over whether or not he should stay but he decided that it would be better to leave. He was sure that Ryou could take care of himself and wouldn't need him to call a doctor for him. He needed to think things through as he was more confused now. He was sure that Ryou would be better off waking with him not there. The boy would need his space. Ryou hadn't called the police until now, it was unlikely that he would do that now. Mariku had a lot of unanswered questions but they could wait for another time and place. Maybe Ryou would run again. The chase had been fun.

He was careful to not be seen as he made his way back to the place his motorcycle. Now, as he drove back home, he thought that it wouldn't be a bad thing if Ryou did have some serious issues; that way they could have some serious issues together.

xxx

When Ryou came back to it, he found himself lying on the couch. Alone. Hadn't Mariku been there? He looked around and his shoulder made its condition known. Funny how he hadn't even noticed it during the kiss.

Oh right. The kiss. Ryou sat up quickly, got a head rush and held his head, having a small headache. He had kissed Mariku and- How come he was not dead yet? Ryou checked himself over and was perfectly ok apart from the shoulder, the nose and the headache. He had no real Mariku-caused injuries what-so-ever.

That made him angry. If the other had not come there to kill him or rape him or whatever, why had he come? To toy with him? To scare him? Why?! If he hadn't been going to die in the first place, that meant that he had kissed Mariku for nothing!

“Idiot.” What was the point of that guy coming there if he wasn't even going to kill him?! Ryou felt led on and that made him angry. He should have known better.

“If I were to hurt your precious friend, that would also hurt you, my sweet Ryou.” Or in this situation: “If I were to kill you, that would also hurt you, my sweet Ryou.” 'Sweet'? More like 'stupid'. It hadn't been his fault that he had got the wrong impression! It had been Mariku who had been all psycho killer/rapist -like!

“Bastard,” Ryou muttered to the empty room and to the mental image of Mariku. Now he had all the reason to search the guy out and complain about not killing him. There had to be a law against that, false advertising or something.

In his anger it sort of crossed his mind that he didn't want to die, but that was obviously irrelevant. The point was that he had been led on. He had all the reason to be angry, or that was what he kept telling himself.


	7. Chapter 7

Ryou thought that he needed to go see a doctor and take care of his injuries before he started searching for Mariku. He didn't know how he would go about it. Maybe he would ran into the other somewhere? Ryou had no idea.

It was awkward to explain how he got the injuries to the doctor but at least he didn't have to lie. Much. After all, he just had to say that he ran into two different doors during the time frame of a few seconds, erase Mariku off it all and blame it on his own clumsiness... Believable? The doctor thought so.

After he had been inspected, he had gone back to the house and just rested the best he could in that situation. His shoulder had been dislocated, but luckily for him, his nose hadn't been broken, it had just suffered a hit from the door. The rest wasn't restful. His thoughts still raced and there was no way he could get any sleep or even stay still for long.

What would he do if he were to find Mariku? What would he say? What would Mariku say or do? And more whats and whys, without forgetting the hows, whens and wheres.

Even though there was a lot going on in his head, there was nothing going on in the house. No sound, no movement, no anything. It felt so weird that just yesterday he had ran around, thinking that he was about to get killed, and now there was absolutely nothing going on. That disturbed Ryou, who, in all reality and honesty, didn't like to be alone. He had just gotten so used to it that it hadn't bothered him, not before he had gotten a call from Mariku, befriended Yuugi and...

Ryou turned on his side on his bed and felt how a hot tear fell down on his pillow. It was not fair... Life was not fair... Why life had given him a taste of what he could have, only to take it away again?

But that didn't mean that he was about to give up. The least he could do was to find and confront Mariku. He needed to apologize to Yuugi but that would put Yuugi in danger, and Ryou didn't want that.

It was Monday but Ryou hadn't went to school. The doctor had said that he should rest and he hadn't felt like going anyway. The teacher had been understanding when he had called her this morning about his condition but had told him to find out what they did that day. Ryou had felt like telling that he couldn't do that because he knew no one from the school he could ask from but hadn't. He would just call to the teacher again or something, he didn't even care all that much right now.

The house was too silent and it felt strangely cold. Ryou got up, taking his blanket with him, wrapping it around himself and going downstairs. They had a stereo system in the living room and he considered listening something on it but then he spotted one of the only horror movies he owned, deciding to watch it. Maybe the safety rope he had had for so long would also help him in this situation.

xxx

Maybe his life didn't suck that bad after all.

Mariku had just come back from his latest job interview, which had been on the not so good side of town and the so called interviewer had been drunk and smelled like very cheap booze. Actually, now that he thought of it, so had the whole bar that was looking for someone to throw out the trouble makers. The “interview” had turned out to be a few questions and an angry drunken attack from the bar owner because Mariku had forgotten his ID to his apartment. He had been forced to defend himself, not that he had terribly minded putting the fat drunk back on his place.

Mariku had gotten the job.

It was a night job, which was good since he didn't sleep all that much during the night. He might as well use it for something more useful than just slacking at his place or partaking on Domino's colorful nightlife. And he would still have the days for himself, including weekends so that he could keep his other job. The pay would be unstable though, depending on the number of customers each night but it would be better than nothing, even if just barely. No matter how convenient it might be, it was still under his level. He could do better but wasn't about to complain or let that take away his current good mood.

Maybe now that he wasn't about to snap at any given moment, he could call Ryou and ask the unasked questions bothering him. Like what had been Ryou's motive when kissing him? He was also curios about why Ryou had chased Yuugi away. But other than that, that brat didn't interest him anymore and why should he? Yuugi might have gotten a hug from Ryou and whatever, but he had gotten something better. And since they had both at some point been some sort of friends with Ryou, but it wasn't sure if they were anymore, Mariku now had one up on Yuugi and that was enough reason for him to ignore the kid, for now. It had been Yuugi that had gotten chased away, not him.

xxx

Ryou had fallen asleep during the movie and woke up well rested. He didn't stop to ponder about that. He wanted out of the house, just realizing how long he had been inside without getting out at all.

Ryou took good care to take his cellphone with him as he exited the house, deciding that since he was going out, he might as well check out the places he was pretty sure Mariku had seen him at, like the center of Domino. Maybe he would also visit the harbor.

Soon enough, Ryou was walking around Domino, taking a longer route to the seaside. He wasn't expecting to just run into the one he was searching for but it was nice being out for a change. A lot of people were around, hurrying somewhere, all looking so busy. All the people made Ryou feel uneasy but at the same time he knew that he would be safer with all these other people around, assuming that they would notice if something happened to him.

All the while he was hoping that his cell phone would ring, pulling it out of his pocket once in a while, but he still jumped when it finally did, answering, “Why didn't you kill me?”

“E-excuse me? Ryou what-?” Yuugi asked from the other end, sounding shocked and confused. Ryou made a mental note to always check the caller ID before answering from now on.

“Nothing, never mind that! I was just... um... kidding?” he tried but failed to sound all that convincing. “I... I thought I told you not to call me...”

“I know you did but I just can't leave it at that.” It sounded like Yuugi was trying to sound firm over his worry. “Let me help you.”

The gesture moved Ryou and he wanted to tell everything that had been going on but just... couldn't. “I don't need help,” he stated, wondering if he was trying to convince Yuugi or himself. “Please leave me be.” He hung up without further explanation. Even though he did appreciate the effort, this was getting ridiculous. Why couldn't Yuugi just leave him be? He had already told that it was for Yuugi's own good but still he kept trying. Why?

He kept walking towards the harbor, now in an angry hurry. He just wanted to get there and out of this crowd, though this time of day it was likely that the harbor was crowded as well. And since, judging from his ringing cell, this was a day when everyone wanted a piece of him, it would be unlikely that he could find a less crowded area anywhere. He might not want to be alone but he didn't like to be surrounded by strangers either.

This time around he did check the ID first and almost felt relieved that it was an unknown caller. “Mariku?” he asked just in case.  
“I feel so moved that you guessed.”

Ryou wasn't entirely sure if the other really meant that or if he was just being sarcastic since the tone was so light. Not that he cared much at this point. “Why-?”

“Hush now, let me speak first.” Ryou almost shut his mouth at that but then it opened again to let out his protest that never quite got out since Mariku beat him to it, “Wouldn't it be better for us to talk face to face rather than on the phone? There's no point in hiding anymore, and besides-”

“Domino Harbor,” Ryou said, not letting Mariku finish. “I would prefer to meet there.” That was where he was going anyway.

There was a short pause before Mariku spoke up again, voice holding a trace of amusement. “Very well then. Careful not to get too eager though, one might even think that you're enjoying this.” And with a low chuckle, he hung up.

Ryou stared at his phone for a while, letting what the other had said sink in. He actually felt like yelling at Mariku for all this, even if the harbor was a public place. That bastard..!

And with his heart beating furiously, Ryou made the rest of the way to their meeting place.

xxx

Mariku lived pretty far from the harbor and it took him a while to get there, and when he did, Ryou was already there, facing the sea. He took his time approaching Ryou, it was, after all, unlikely that he would run away this time. The thought, and memory, made Mariku grin and he didn't quite manage to lose the grin before he reached Ryou.

“Hi, do you come here often?”

The boy jumped, turning around and taking a few steps away, seeing that Mariku had been standing fairly close. Then he directed this almost glare at the tanned one. The behavior amused Mariku but also raised more questions.

“You...” Ryou shook and clenched and unclenched his fingers, looking nervous and somehow ticked off. “Why- What is your problem?!” he exclaimed, making a few of the people passing by glance at them before continuing on their merry way. Mariku, not expecting that, failed to say anything before the boy started again.

“You can't just go and- Argh! I mean, where did you go?! Why?!” Ryou yelled in some sort of desperate anger. “You- I thought that you were going to kill me and not just-! You can't do something like that!”

This made absolutely no sense to Mariku but it was making him annoyed and his good mood dissolve. He took hold of the yelling Ryou's arm and clapped a silencing hand on the boy's mouth. Ryou's eyes widened and he struggled against the hold but not hard enough to make Mariku let go.

“Stay still and listen,” he hissed near the boy's face. Ryou's breath was coming in gasps but he did stop struggling and looked between Mariku's hand on his mouth, and his face. “Bite me again and I will bite you back,” Mariku warned just in case with a slightly suggestive undertone. “Then again, you would probably like that, wouldn't you?” He smirked and Ryou yelled something against his palm that he guessed was a protest. He glared at the people who had slowed down to stare, making them move along faster.

“Now, I am going to remove my hand and you are not going to start yelling again. Instead, you are going to tell me what that little outburst was about. Understood?” Mariku told clearly and calmly after directing his full attention on the other again. Ryou just stared back, eyes hardening, for a good while before nodding.

After being let go, the boy asked a clear question about what was bothering him, “Why didn't you kill me?”

Whatever Mariku had been expecting, that was not it. When would this boy stop surprising him? “Wait... You wanted me to kill you?” he asked in disbelief. This had never happened before, no one he knew had never wanted to get killed by him. It was 'Please don't kill me', not 'Please kill me'.

“What? No! It's not that,” Ryou told, still fuming but not yelling that much and Mariku waited for him to continue. “I thought you were going to... and... that's why I... You led me on,” Ryou ended his explanation awkwardly.

Mariku frowned in thought before it all clicked. It made him laugh out loud. It was funny, sure, but he felt stupid now for speculating otherwise. Ryou looked at him in some sort of angry confusion, disturbed. Mariku managed to stop laughing but still chuckled some before speaking again. “So you actually thought that you were going to die and that's why you made out with me?” He laughed a bit more at the obscurity of it all. “I must say, Ryou, your logic is very amusing.”

Ryou glared and huffed. “It's not funny. You gave me the wrong impression. You led me on.” Mariku thought that Ryou looked pretty when angry, instead of scary or anything that even distantly resembled it. All and all, to him, the boy seemed to be this beautiful, disturbed being who was so... unique, interesting... and almost begging to be possessed, to be taken good care of.

“Let's walk,” Mariku suggested, turning to face the same direction Ryou was, placing a hand on his back and giving a slight push to get the now taken back and surprised boy to walk. Ryou took a few steps, starting to walk, glancing at Mariku in confusion.

“What are you..?” Ryou asked, leaving the question unfinished. Mariku didn't bother to answer. He continued to walk, not removing his hand before it was swapped away. Ryou took a few faster steps to get ahead of him and turned to face him, stopping them. “You can't just- What?”

“Don't tell me what I can and can't do,” Mariku told. “And, my sweet Ryou, do tell when have I ever given you the impression that I was seeking to kill you?” The answer was going to be interesting, if there would be one at all.

Ryou opened his mouth to speak but then frowned, closing it again and looking down in thought. Mariku smirked, stepping forward and placing his hands on both sides of the boy's face to get him to look at him. Ryou did, looking startled but leaning on the touch.  
“If anything, didn't I tell you that I didn't want to hurt you?” He swore that he heard the boy's racing heart and saw a realization behind the eyes. It made him feel on top of things again. “And besides, if I really wanted to hurt you, don't you think that I would have killed that friend of yours instead, hm?” Mariku questioned. “The pain of losing someone... A far greater one than any physical pain...”

Ryou gasped and a tear rolled down his cheek, falling on Mariku's hand and getting a glance from him before he directed his eyes on Ryou's again.

“But you already know that,” he continued, softening and lowering his tone. “It hurts a great deal, doesn't it?”

The boy swallowed and nodded. “Yes,” he whispered, eyes watering.

“Makes you feel so alone...” Mariku said, caressing the pale cheek with his thumb, skimming over the lower lip, leaning further in Ryou's personal bubble, feeling how Ryou was leaning in too, that making him mentally grin.

“Yes...” The boy's voice came out as a breathy whisper, a few more tears falling down, eyes shinning with more unshed ones, making them look so very beautiful. “I-I f-feel like... I'm n-nothing...” Ryou whispered, voice broken and tears falling freely.

“Sshhh... You want it to go away...” Mariku hushed almost gently. “...so that you can be something again...” That seemed to be the final blow and Ryou cracked, breaking down and wailing out all of his hidden or forgotten pain and loneliness.

“Yes! Yes! I want to... to be so-something..!” he sobbed, taking a hold of Mariku's jacket, seeking to pull them closer to perhaps hug him for comfort. Mariku held his head in place, preventing it for a moment longer, looking into the teary, desperate eyes before letting go and letting Ryou wrap his arms around him and cry on his chest, wrapping his own arms around the broken boy's shaking form.

“I can help you with that,” he told softly. “I know your worth, my sweet.” He did, but not only that; he was the only one who did out of all the herds of sheep, commonly known as humans. People just flocked around, ignoring and shunning anyone who didn't fit in the herd, being told what to do by a few sheep dogs, doing what they were told to without questions, just following each other around like they were all unable to think for themselves.

“Please do...” Ryou said, quietly, not letting go yet, not that Mariku wanted him to. It made him feel good to have this beautiful being depending on him; now he was not the only one who needed and wanted the other around for satinty's sake.

If he couldn't get rid of his obsession, the least he could do was to make sure that he could share it. It made him feel in control again.


	8. Chapter 8

“Um, would you like some tea or coffee or something?” Ryou asked, like he had been raised to do when having someone over. He and Mariku had decided that there were too many people in the harbor, and outside in general, to stay there so Ryou had invited him over.

Ryou had to admit feeling awkward about his breakdown earlier. It felt good to have that off his chest, like he could breath freer now. And Mariku seemed to understand. It was weird, how the other had just figured it all out like that, scary too when he thought about it.

“I don't need anything,” Mariku told, looking around the place in a way that Ryou took as curios. “A lot space for only two people.” He gestured around as Ryou sat both of them on the couch.

“Father didn't want to move even after... Are you sure you don't want anything?” Ryou started on the painful subject but decided that he didn't want to talk about it, not right now, and was quick to change the subject.

Mariku stared at him for a short while before answering, “I already told that-”

“You said you didn't need anything,” Ryou interrupted. “I don't need to drink tea or coffee either, I just want to.” He shrugged and smiled. “So,” he said lightly but expecting an answer.

Mariku frowned but before looking amused. “Coffee would be nice,” he said with surprising amount of politeness.  
Ryou practically jumped up from the couch and started to back away towards the kitchen, still smiling, glad to get such a nice answer instead of a rude statement.

“Coming right up, we have instant coffee.” Ryou made a face and Mariku chuckled but didn't object before Ryou made it through the kitchen doorway. His father always wanted his coffee quickly and was the only one who drank it on a regular basis in the household. He searched the cupboards for it and once he found it, he called to the one in the living room, looking at the instructions on the packet. “How do like your coffee?”

“Strong and plain.”

The answer came from much closer than Ryou had expected and it made him jump and spin around, to find the one who was supposed to be in the living room standing right in front of him, smirking at his reaction.

“Y-you scared me. You really shouldn't sneak up on people like that,” Ryou said, heart beating faster than it should have just out of a simple scare. “I bet you cause heart attacks like that.”

Mariku seemed to ponder on that. “Actually, there was this one time...” The other took a trip down the memory lane, lips forming into a grin.

“Uh ok... I'm not sure if I want to know...” It did interest Ryou on some level but he wasn't going to ask about it. He was almost trapped against the kitchen counter, the other standing so close. It was making his thoughts go haywire. The expression Mariku had over the memory of him causing a heart attack reminded Ryou of what kind of person he was dealing with here and that...

Ryou found himself hoping to be trapped against the kitchen counter, his own thoughts scaring him.

“Um I...” Ryou wanted to distract himself from his thoughts. “I don't need help, you could've just stayed in the living room,” was all he could think of saying.

Mariku grinned but this time it didn't seem to be about some memory. “Oh but I didn't want to stay in there,” he said, eyes gleaming as he bent to purr in Ryou's ear. “Has anyone ever told you how delectable you look when you're scared?”

Ryou tried not to shiver or close his eyes but failed. “What..? I ah... No, of course n-not.” Of course no one had told him such a thing and no one could without lying, in Ryou's opinion. He must look pathetic right now too, clinging onto the counter, eyes closed and breathing more heavily than usual.

“What do you mean by that?” Mariku was no longer speaking to Ryou's ear and instead got the boy's attention by taking a hold of his chin.  
Ryou's eyes opened to gaze back at the other, feeling confused about the question and the sudden seriousness Mariku's tone had taken.

“I... Well it's just that...” Ryou directed his eyes away from Mariku's. “I don't really look like much,” he said silently. If Ryou had been looking at the other, he would have seen how his eyes widened and how he looked just plain disbelieving, like he was suspecting his own hearing. Ryou was starting to believe that Mariku wasn't saying anything to spare him from the truth, when there was such a long pause.

Mariku's hold on his chin tightened. “Ryou look at me.”

The order got Ryou to look at him, startled and wondering what was this about now.

“What kind of blind idiot told you that?” Mariku spat out his question.

“No one, I just... that's just true. I-I..” Ryou wanted to look away but didn't dare to try when Mariku was like this. “I'm not all that interesting and look plain,” he said after a moment of silence. Ryou had figured that he must be since no one had been interested in him.

Mariku's eyes narrowed. “Are you saying that I have bad taste?”

Ryou blinked in confusion. “O-of course not, that wasn't-”

“Well good,” Mariku interrupted Ryou's stammering. “That's what it was starting to sound like. If I told you that you're beautiful and interesting, would you accuse me of lying?”

“N-no, not lying but...” Ryou said. He didn't dare accuse Mariku of anything that petty.

Mariku didn't sound angry anymore but sort of smug. “That must be the truth then, don't you think?”

“W-well, I guess..?” Ryou wasn't sure where this was going. It seemed that he had somehow been outwitted. “What are you trying to say?” he managed to ask, having an idea but having trouble believing that he could be right.

Mariku smirked. “Isn't it obvious?” he whispered but didn't give Ryou much time to answer, kissing him.

Ryou found himself relaxing against the other, leaning closer and sighing contently. His mind still raced as he was trying to understand what had just happened, but that came to have less and less meaning in his mind as he payed much more attention on what was going on. This was nice... A bit too nice. Mariku was being surprisingly gentle, not touching him in anyway that could be the slightest bit inappropriate, and Ryou was glad of that but... It left him wanting something more.

Then Mariku pulled away, looking at Ryou in a way that made him blush. “Now...” Mariku spoke lowly, hand traveling on Ryou's back, pulling him even closer. “Where's my coffee?”

It took Ryou a while to realize what the other had said but when he did, he frowned, not thinking that this was as funny as the other obviously thought it was. He reached behind him for the coffee packet and shoved it on Mariku's face, getting out of his hold while he was busy catching it.

“Help yourself,” Ryou told and walked out of the kitchen. “Damn you,” he muttered on his way out, but not quietly enough for the other not to hear, judging from the chuckle.

xxx

It wasn't like Mariku could leave when Ryou was pissed at him. Again. It wasn't entirely clear to him why was that but he did have his own suspicions and he had ended up staying even though Ryou had hinted that he could go. He would go if the other right out told him to get out, but that was yet to happen so there was no hurry.

Ryou sighed, sitting on the comfy looking seat near the side of the couch, refusing to sit on the couch with Mariku after the thing with the coffee earlier. “Are you sure you don't have some place you need to be at?” Ryou hinted again.

“Not really, nothing before nine pm anyway.”

That had been the level of their conversation for the past hour or so.

Ryou sighed again, louder than last time.

“Ever tried telling the people you want to get rid of to just fuck off?” Mariku asked, using an almost chatty tone and got a glare from Ryou.

“No, I have manners, unlike some.”

Mariku 'hmph'ed. “I have noticed. You must be the only host who makes his guests make their own coffee. How polite of you.”

“Well, I hope you enjoyed that coffee.” Ryou told, now clearly angry. “See if I ever offer to make you anything again.”

“Oh I wouldn't count on it, no.” Mariku smirked. “Though you seemed to enjoy making my coffee.”

Something appeared on Ryou's face that looked to be somewhere between embarrassed blush and angry redness. “I was not! Er, I mean, you could've been a bit more... demanding about getting your coffee.”

“Oh?” Mariku raised an eyebrow. “I will have to remember that as I do like my coffee a bit stronger.” He was starting to like where this conversation about coffee was going.

Now the redness on Ryou's face was just a plain blush. “Ah well... I don't drink much coffee so I'm not entirely sure...”

“You can figure that out, I'm not going to force any coffee down your throat,” Mariku assured. “I'd much rather have you... enjoy your coffee,” he added with a grin.

Ryou smiled even though he still looked embarrassed about the topic. “That's good to hear... Though um, Mariku?” Ryou asked hesitantly and the one being addressed sort of liked how his name sounded right then.

“Hmm?”

“I think I kind of like-”

The doorbell rang before Ryou had time to finish that sentence, their attention was snapped to the sudden sound. Ryou frowned at the door and glanced at Mariku before going to open it.

Mariku gave the door a nasty glare. He wanted to know how that sentence ended. Why couldn't people just let them talk about coffee in peace?

xxx

Ryou tried to fight the blush off before getting to the door, without much success. He couldn't believe they had talked about that sort of thing, now, already. Though he guessed it was kind of a good thing. Why 'coffee' though?

He didn't have much time to ponder on that before he was at the door, opening it, wondering if his face was red. Ryou had to blink a few times to get his thoughts in line enough to realize who all those people behind the door must be. The fact that once he looked downwards, he could spot Yuugi there gave him a hint.

“Yuugi, what. What are you doing here?” Ryou asked, glancing at the other three people there, standing behind or next to Yuugi.

“I wanted to make sure you're ok, of course, after what you said on the phone the last time. You worry me, I thought that maybe you're in trouble or something,” Yuugi told and the only girl in that group placed a hand on his shoulder. Ryou assumed that these were the friends Yuugi had mentioned.

“It's not like that at all!” Ryou hurried to assure. “I was just... um...” This was difficult. Then a pair of arms wrapped around him in a possessive manner and he automatically leaned back.

“What seems to be the... problem..?” Mariku asked and Ryou could have sworn that when he said 'problem', he was looking at Yuugi. Ryou had a bad feeling about this, though it was nice to be held.

“Um, hello,” Yuugi greeted and there was a some recognition in his eyes and he sent a meaningful glance at Ryou. “I don't think we have met and oh, how rude of me! These are my friends. Anzu, Jounouchi, Honda.” Yuugi gestured towards each as he introduced them. “And I'm Yuugi, nice to meet you.” The boy smiled at Mariku and as Ryou glanced at him, he was not smiling back. Or even acknowledging them, except for Yuugi who he was staring down.

“Hi everyone!” Ryou was quick to shout with faked perkiness to get the situation to move on again. “I'm so happy to meet you all!” He pulled off a smile and felt like an idiot but he was an idiot who was possibly keeping his friend and his friend's friends unharmed.

“Hi, you must be Ryou? We've heard about you from Yuugi-” Anzu started, making Ryou feel rude for not introducing himself.

“Though Yuugi here told us that you're shy or something so we should keep our mouths shut and not scare you away,” the one that had been introduced as Jounouchi told getting an annoyed look from Anzu.

“Maybe you shouldn't have come at all then.”

“Hey-!”

“Excuse me,” Ryou tried when he noticed how Mariku was tightening his hold on him, eyes narrowing in some sort of quiet, but steadily growing, annoyance. Ryou felt like some kind of a human shield.“Excuse me!”

“Just let them call down,” Honda said and Yuugi nodded. Ryou was ready to tell them to shut it, not because he wanted to be rude or didn't like these people, but because he felt like he was wearing a vest filled with bombs that could just go off any moment.

“I said excuse me dammit!” Ryou yelled and got everyone's attention. He was feeling extremely nervous now, under everyone's surprised stare, but managed to smile in what he hoped was a polite way. “Thank you. I don't believe that I have introduced you all to-”

“Mariku Ishtar,” Mariku finished for him, then continuing with a smirk. “Ryou's lover.”

And here Ryou had thought that he couldn't possibly feel any more nervous, bothered, confused or some other emotion that was close, and the world just had to prove him wrong. His lover? Why that word? Why not 'really good friend' or even 'boyfriend'? “Lover?” Ryou whispered to Mariku, a suspicious question in his eyes, glad that the other was so close that the rest probably didn't hear the whisper.

Mariku grinned and pressed his mouth against Ryou's ear. “Don't question me,” he told quietly.

Ryou glanced between Mariku and Yuugi and his friends, who were all staring before some of them looked away. Yuugi was glancing at his friends before giving Ryou a meaningful look. It wasn't hostile but it still unnerved him and he knew he was going to have to explain later.

“Ah yes.” Ryou realized that he should say something right about now. “This is Mariku and he's my... he's my...” It was surprisingly hard to say when he had all these people looking at him. Ryou took a deep breath and tried again. “This is Mariku, my... my lover.” As he said this, he felt his face grow warm and heart flap a few times but he still smiled politely at everyone. To his relief they slowly started to smile back and he felt Mariku loosen his soon-to-be-death-grip and relax.

“It's very nice to meet you, Mariku,” Yuugi said, smiling, and Ryou was glad that someone else had said something because that seemed to lighten the mood again.

“I only wish that could be mutual, Yuugi,” Mariku said, somehow managing to sound almost polite while clearly insulting the shorter boy. Ryou elbowed his 'lover' while still smiling at everyone else.

Yuugi's smile flickered but held. “Uh yea...” He laughed, as if that had been a joke. Ryou was glad, once again, that he had done that since it seemed to keep his friends from glaring at Mariku or commenting. Instead, they said their nice to meet yous, even though they were colder about it.

“Oh I'm just making you stand here in the doorway, how rude of me,” Ryou said nervously and was about to invite them all in.

“But you see, you really can't be here right now.” Mariku continued for him and got glared and almost elbowed again. “It's a very... bad time...” He glanced at Ryou and smirked. “Leave.”

Ok, they were so having a conversation about this later... The ones standing outside looked bothered with all Mariku's hinting and looked ready to go.

“I see...” Yuugi blushed. “Er yes, we should just go, now, right?” He looked at the rest of the gang then back at Ryou and Mariku. “We should, um, get together for some coffee or something later.”

Ryou glanced at Mariku who was looking right back at that moment and they both started trying not to laugh too hard.

“Yes, that would be nice.” Ryou coughed. “Or maybe some tea would be better.” Some more coughing to hide his laughter and he felt Mariku chuckle behind him. “Bye then!”

“Ok bye!”

“Bye!”

“See you later!”

“Yeah bye.”

Ryou closed the door but not too quickly so that he wouldn't appear rude. Once the door was shut, he gave Mariku a disapproving look. “What?” he asked, feeling drained after all that.

Mariku just grinned at him. “Just think about it; wouldn't it be nice to have some coffee with the annoying brat and his little friends?”

Ryou tried hard to glare at him for that, knowing that he was just changing the subject, and not laugh but didn't quite manage. “Mariku, you're terrible,” he said while still laughing and tried pushing the other off of him playfully. “That's why I suggested that we'd have tea instead.”

“Hmm.” Mariku 'said' while still grinning, not letting go but the hold loosened enough to allow Ryou to turn around. “I would like some coffee though.”

Ryou shook his head with a small smile and rolled his eyes. “Oh behave...”


	9. Chapter 9

How was it even possible for one thing to make someone feel both good and bad at the same time? Ryou had just finished a phone conversation with his dad who had wanted to know how he was doing. He hadn't told his father about Mariku, not about anything important that had been going on. He still hadn't told Yuugi, who was the closest thing to a friend he had, what was really going on.

And yet, no matter how many people who cared about him he had to keep in the dark, Ryou was happy to... be with Mariku? It was somehow unclear to him if they really were in a relationship but he guessed that they had to be. It was sure that they weren't friends, not just friends anyway. They hadn't seen each other much after Monday but they had talked on the phone and met up for short while a few times.

It felt like the way they had gotten together should bother him.

Ryou had just gotten back from school, it was Friday and he had promised to go and pay Yuugi a visit. The other boy had been telling him that he should come over all week and Ryou had finally agreed. He just hoped that Yuugi wouldn't have his friends over. Ryou wouldn't be able to really talk to Yuugi then and that was why he was going there. He found the idea of having to be social and outgoing to be frightening, but not in the good way.

On his way to the Kame Game Shop, Ryou had the urge to just walk down to the harbor instead. He kept going to the direction he had originally planned; running to his sanctuary wouldn't help him in the long run.

Ryou could see the shop and slowed down without even noticing it. It wasn't that he didn't want to spend time with Yuugi, he liked the other after all, but it did cross his mind that a certain someone wouldn't be happy with it.That had partly started the whole mess in the first place.

Ryou had reached the shop door and had stopped to stand there, deep in thought, not realizing that he was standing in front of the entrance and that people would want to get into the shop soon. The door opened and it made him jump back.

“Hello there, don't be scared to come in,” said an elderly man that looked strangely familiar and seemed to recognize Ryou. “Are you Ryou Bakura?” Ryou nodded hesitantly. “Oh good, Yuugi's waiting for you. I'm Sugoroku Mutou but just call me Yuugi's grandpa, everyone else of you youngsters do.”

“Um alright... Nice to meet you, Yuugi's grandpa.” Ryou smiled and stepped in while Mr. Mut- uh, Yuugi's grandpa stepped out and started to sweep the street in front of the shop.

“Yuugi should be upstairs,” the older man told so that's where Ryou made his way to and ran into Yuugi on the way.

“Oh hi, I was starting to wonder when you'd show up,” Yuugi said, leading them both to his room. “How have you been, would you like something?”

“Uh, Yuugi... you really don't have to, I know what you want to talk about...” Ryou told. Since he was here they might as well get this over with. He hoped he wouldn't have to lie.

Yuugi looked more serious and sighed. “Does that Mariku have something to do with you avoiding me?”

Ryou looked down. “..Yes.” How could he explain? He had no idea; maybe he should have thought of that before coming here.“I really-” he started.

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.” Yuugi interrupted. “..but it would be nice to know that you'll be ok...”

Ryou looked up from the floor he had been staring and saw his friend smiling sadly at him. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and smiled back as well as he could. “Of course I will.”

“Good. And just so you know; it doesn't matter to me if your... lover... is male.” Yuugi looked just a bit impish as he said this and winked at the blushing Ryou.

“Ah well... that's good to know...” He had never taken Yuugi as a person who would care about things like that so that hadn't been an issue. It hadn't even crossed his mind.

“He did seem kind of rude though... a bit... scary, sort of...” Yuugi said, now thoughtful. “No offense or anything,” he hurried to add. “I mean if you like him and I guess you sort of balance each other out.”

“Well, I guess... But Mariku is-” Ryou had been about to say that Mariku was a nice person but that would have been a lie. Though, he guessed that the way the other acted around him was him being nice. “He's... ah...” Ryou smiled awkwardly. “I don't really know.” He tried to laugh a bit but stopped when the other boy looked so serious suddenly, sort of worried too, and sighed instead. “Ok, he's rude and scary and possessive and insane and arrogant and-” Ryou happened to glance at Yuugi in the middle of his beginning rant, seeing his weird expression and stopping his list short. “Ah... but he's, nice, to me, I think...” As nice as he could get.

Yuugi didn't say anything for a short while but then he shook his head, smiling a bit. “You must really like him to put up with all that then.”  
Ryou looked at Yuugi for a good while, pondering on what he had said. The things he had listed just now weren't really the bad qualities of Mariku, but... just how much did he like him?

“..I guess I must...”

xxx

Ryou had just gotten back from Yuugi, wondering if he should go rent a movie or two for the weekend, when he had to go answer the door. From the way the doorbell was rang, he had a hunch who it was. He didn't expect to be kissed before he could even get a decent greeting out.

“Hello, my Ryou,” was Mariku's verbal greeting as he brushed past Ryou into the house. Ryou stared out the door, standing in the doorway, for the few seconds it took him to realize what had happened.

“...do come in,” he mumbled while closing the door before turning to face his visitor. “Why are you here?” he asked. He didn't mean to sound rude, just surprised because he had wanted to talk to Mariku. The visit to Yuugi had given him things to think about but he wasn't sure how to bring them up.

Mariku raised an eyebrow. “I'm here to steal all your valuables and if you resist, I'll be forced to kill you.” One could almost think that he was being serious.

Ryou gave him a dry look. “If you want to spend time with me, you can always just ask instead of barging in here,” he informed but didn't really mind all that much. “It's nice of you to drop by anyway; I didn't have anything special planned for the weekend...” He had just thought that he would spend it like any other weekend so far, but now, he didn't really have to. That felt great. Though, it would be nice to also spend time with Yuugi.

The other smirked. “We'll have to do something about that.”

Ryou noticed how Mariku somehow looked more serious after that, more perceptive, but he wasn't sure. It was hard to tell sometimes.

“There's something bothering you.” It wasn't a question but it demanded an answer and Ryou gave himself a mental pat on the back for seeing it coming, at least somewhat. Ryou had no idea what would be the best way to answer but there was always the truth, it hardly ever failed.

“I was just wondering...” He looked at his hands, seeing something extremely interesting in his fingers all of a sudden. “..if you could show me your place too since... you've always come here and I don't even know where you live.” Ryou glanced up, hoping for a reaction, preferably a positive one, but it didn't seem to come. Instead he got a slight narrowing of eyes that were almost unreadable otherwise.

“Three times is not always, Ryou. Why are you so interested to know?”

“Well, of course I want to know!” Ryou just thought that to be a stupid question. Why wouldn't he want to know? “It's just that... You know so much about me and I know so little about you...” He had told Mariku things he had told no one else; like about his underlying depression and all that loneliness he hadn't even been truly aware of himself. And yet, what did he really know about the other, besides the few small things he had discovered and the ones he had been told? “I... I really want to get to know you...” Now Ryou looked right at the other, wanting to see if there was a reaction of some sort, no matter how small. There was one of raised eyebrows and something flashing through lilac depths, milliseconds before the laughter came. Ryou frowned at the strange reaction, not sure what to make of it.

Mariku's laugh quickly ceased to chuckles and he closed his eyes for a short while, facing the floor. “Want to get to know me..?” he mused quietly. The fact that Ryou was now unable to see how Mariku's eyes looked unnerved him for reasons he wasn't quite sure of yet.  
“No you don't,” Mariku told, opening his eyes again. Ryou was sort of relieved that he did but, at the same time, the look he got bothered him. It was like the other thought that he had been lied to even though it had been the truth. “... And sometimes...” A short pause. “..it's better to be left in the dark.” Mariku smirked and added, “Figuratively speaking.”, as an afterthought.

Ryou wasn't sure how to react. That hadn't been an answer he had expected to get but he guessed that he should have seen something like that coming. He noticed that he was just standing there, and staring. But... but why wouldn't he want to get to know..?

“Why?” he whispered.

A raised eyebrow, smirk not quite yet fading. “Why would you?”

That was one question that was difficult to answer,especially when Ryou wasn't all that sure himself. “I just... um,” he stammered, wanting to look away but realizing that he couldn't. He didn't get a permission to.“People normally want to get to know the person they... like.” 'Like' wasn't the best word to use but that was the only one Ryou had been able to think on the spot. “Because...” Because he was interested. Because he just wanted to. Because he didn't like the feeling that the other seemed to know him almost inside-out while being an enigma. Because he was drawn in for reasons that should make him run away. “Because I...”

Words had failed him, and it didn't help any that Mariku seemed to be closing in on him, wordlessly, without much effort, making Ryou back off but not enough, it seemed, as he was pushed rest of the way to the nearest wall.

“You think you kind of like being scared?” Mariku whispered to Ryou's ear, more to the side of a statement than a question, sending a pleasant shiver through the boy and making his heart beat faster as that was a near echo from few days ago, just filled out for him.

“I... I...” Ryou tried to swallow but there was nothing to swallow as his mouth had gone dry. Mariku was so close, body heat radiating and hair almost tickling Ryou's face. “...yes,” Ryou breathed out, starting to move his hand to touch, but before he could, Mariku pulled away, releasing Ryou from his invisible hold.

“Wonderful,” he stated, voice now perfectly normal, like nothing had happened. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Ryou blinked. “Excuse me?” Had he heard right? “For... a walk?”

“Yes, a walk.”

“Uh...” Wait just a second... “You-!”

“Good, let's go.” Mariku grabbed Ryou's wrist, interrupting his outburst.

“Hey-! What? I don't want to go for a walk, let go!” Ryou protested while being dragged. They went through the door anyway, much to his displeasure. “We don't have our shoes on! Mariku!”

A few neighbors stopped to stare and that was no wonder.

As struggling had proven to be useless and being angry got him nowhere, Ryou decided to change tactics. “I didn't lock the door and the ground is cold, can we go back? I don't want to get sick or have our stuff stolen. I'd like to go on a walk with you but not like this... Please?” He really would, but he didn't want to be dragged or having things just decided for him like this.

Mariku let go but kept walking, slowing down just a little. Ryou stopped, unsure of what to do. He could go back to lock the door and get his shoes but by the time he got back, Mariku could have already walked away.

He looked back at the direction of his house. There was all his stuff and his shoes that could keep him from getting sick. Things connected to memories and memories connected to what had been.

Ryou glanced at Mariku's slowly but steadily retreating back and the decision wasn't difficult after all. He didn't have clear idea of what it would bring, but hoping that whatever it would be, would be better than what he had now.

“Mariku, please wait!” Ryou shouted and ran after the other, in his socks, not caring if he got stared at by his neighbors. Much to his relief, Mariku stopped to wait for him.

When Ryou reached Mariku, he just got a looked at from the corner of the other's eyes but smiled brightly.

“Thank you. I would love to go on a walk with you,” Ryou told, still smiling and waited for an answer of any kind, a sign.

Mariku smirked and held out his hand for the boy, who took it without much hesitation. “In case of your future visit you should know that my place is not exactly a palace.”

“That doesn't matter.”

xxx

Ryou was learning how to be with him and so it should be; the boy wasn't stupid after all, just uneducated.

Mariku knew for a fact that Ryou had visited Yuugi. That didn't bother him as long as everyone knew who the boy was with, who he belonged to. Yuugi and his friends knew, at least to an extent, since Mariku had kindly informed them of the fact. He just hoped they were smart enough to take a hint, for Ryou's sake.

Right now they were standing near the edge of the sea, at the harbor once again. This seemed to be a place of importance for Ryou and not completely meaningless to Mariku either.

He was facing the view while watching Ryou from the corner of his eye. Such a strange creature... So scared of him, yet wanting to get closer because of that reason exactly. No one had ever wanted to do that before and they had a good reason not to. Though, Ryou had, too.But the traits that had repelled all others, seemed to draw the boy in like a flame did a moth.

At the same time, while being scared, the other was more relaxed around him than he was with most people, maybe excluding the father. Mariku wasn't sure since he had never seen them interact, only heard small snippets through the phone. But that didn't really matter. He could give Ryou something his father could never give.

Mariku moved his arm to brush on the boy's arm. The touch could have been deemed accidental but it got an immediate response. The otherwise steady pace of breathing got interrupted, just for a second but it was still notable. So responsive and sensitive... liked to be touched and held... and preferred to be scared while at it,yet not a complete push-over and didn't like to be directly told what to do.  
Mariku mentally grinned. Where had this boy been all his life?

xxx

It was weird to be standing there, in his socks, but it wasn't bad weird. Ryou's feet were cold by now, otherwise he had never been better.

“I'm curious, is there a reason you keep coming here?” Mariku asked, after neither of them having spoken since they got there.

“...yes.” Ryou wanted to tell Mariku. It would be easy and the question held a silent command to answer, which only made it easier. And Mariku would most likely figure it out in time if he wouldn't tell.“It's... right near this spot.” He pointed at the ground near them, got a questioning glance from the other and smiled sadly, looking at the ground. “The last place I saw my mother and sister...” He knelt to the ground, tracing his fingers near the spot, speaking quietly. “They drowned...”

He could remember that day so well. How there had been all these policemen and lots of people in white. His mother and sister being pulled out of the water, getting surrounded by the police and doctors and other people who didn't want to let him through. They had looked peaceful then, mother and little sister. No yelling to father, no crying.

Ryou hardly even noticed that he was crying and smiling at the same time. “I don't want to see them unhappy in my memories... They looked so... calm and in peace then...” He looked up at Mariku who had so far just stood there. He wanted to see if this new information would get a repulsed reaction from the other but it was the almost exact opposite.

The boy was scooped up, taken a firm hold of, and kissed with such hunger and strength that it threw him off, making him feel weak. It wasn't gentle or innocent this time around, but it brought a strange sense of comfort, an intimate connection to another person for Ryou. He never wanted to let go.

Apparently Mariku still had control over his actions as he pulled away and Ryou made a disappointed noise, not pleased with this turn of events. He wanted to be touched more or he felt like he would starve, too much ignored hormones playing a part in it as well, no doubt. “...don't stop, Mariku, please...”

For a very short moment it looked as the whispered plea would break that silent determination that seemed to be somewhere behind the eyes, but the hands that were previously moving and bringing closer, now kept holding Ryou back.

“Why?” Ryou just asked. Had he done something wrong?

Mariku grinned. “There will be a time when I won't stop, but it's not now.” 

The boy frowned a bit, having a small feeling of being toyed with here. “When will it be then, oh wise and all knowing one?” 

The other chuckled and there was something wonderfully unnerving in the way he did. “When you find yourself screaming for me and loving it.”


	10. Chapter 10

They had stayed at the harbor, sitting down near the spot, on the ground, not caring if their clothes got a little dirty. Mariku wasn't one to sit on the ground of all places but it served greater purpose of having Ryou nuzzle him while mumbling memories about his lost relatives.

“...and then she ran from us and almost got hit by a car.” Ryou sighed but smiled, turning his head to look at Mariku. “Am I boring you?”

“Not really, it's interesting enough,” he told while still only half facing the boy who shook his head a bit.

“You're a bastard, Mariku,” Ryou said quietly, still smiling.

Mariku smirked. “You forgot insane.”

“Oh yeah... Insane bastard it is then. No offense.”

“You're a twisted little git so we're even.”

Ryou's smile came down a notch after the comment and he bit his lip, facing the sea. “Is that why you... why you... um... picked me? I mean, I've been meaning to ask you why but,” he asked with what seemed to be a great deal of hesitation, looking all around nervous about bringing the subject up.

Mariku directed his eyes on Ryou, the boy starting to fidget nervously but not looking away, which was good if Ryou really wanted to get an answer. The brown eyes looked back, expecting to get a response, while Mariku took his time studying them. He hadn't had much time to do that, but now that he had, he saw Ryou. The little riddle puddle.

The boy frowned as Mariku grinned at his own thoughts, not caring how much time had passed or how many people had stopped and stared. They, time and people, were only parts of the world and the world could go fuck itself, for all he cared.

“Mariku?” Ryou tried, partly breaking through Mariku's thoughts. The one deep in thought hushed the other, whose eyes flicked away for just a millisecond, bringing Mariku out of his head.

“You're... making me nervous,” Ryou said, giving a worried look, frown still on his face. “Are you alright?” he asked, placing a hesitant hand on Mariku's cheek. “Mariku?”

Mariku glanced at the hand before turning his head to face the sea again and Ryou let the hand drop. “I didn't 'pick you', as you put it, because I knew what kind of person you would be, but it's good that you are who you are.”

Ryou looked like he was about to smile but, for some weird reason, his frown deepened. “Why then?”

Mariku smirked. “You sure like to know why, don't you?” A glance at Ryou's way, who blushed a bit, making Mariku's smirk wider.

“I-I just...”

“Look adorable too.”

Ryou hid behind his bangs, glancing at Mariku from under them but looking accusing, no longer blushing in embarrassment. “Stop saying things like that,” he said, voice silent. “Can't you just answer my question?” There was determination now, instead of the hesitation Ryou had first displayed. Mariku raised his brow, wondering if he had somehow offended Ryou. He had only teased.

“I saw you once in that place you rent your movies from. There was something that caught my attention,” he told; plain and simple, which was everything this was not. Mariku glanced at Ryou from the corner of his eye and saw him staring.

“That's it?” Ryou asked, voice numb. “How many other people-”

“Ryou.” Mariku interrupted. “I'm not some professional stalker.” He didn't particularly enjoy following people around, finding out about their lives or private details; that would be a waste of his time and he wasn't interested. “I'm just your regular insane bastard,” Mariku flashed a grin, and much to his delight, Ryou brightened up. The boy tried so hard not to smile or laugh, but it came after only a while of fighting it, the smile starting out small but breaking into a laugh.

It felt good to make him laugh, good to make him scared and see the fruits of hard labor, so to speak. Mariku was able to provoke emotions from Ryou with ease, and he knew it too.

Ryou had stopped laughing and was looking back at Mariku, who, without really noticing it, had started to stare, drinking in the sight of the laughing and smiling boy.

“Um... Is... Is there something on my face?” Ryou asked the highly original question, tinting pink and shrinking under the other's gaze.

“There is nothing wrong with your face.” Mariku started to get up from the ground, getting a questioning look from Ryou. “Let's go back. My motorcycle is still there,” he said as an explanation.

“Oh! I almost forgot that you have one!” Ryou got up and dusted himself off, an excited smile on his face before it lessened into a slight frown. “I hope nothing happened to the house though... I think I have a hole in my sock now.” He inspected the other of his socks, standing on one foot, grasping Mariku's shoulder for support. “You own me a new pair, mister.” Ryou told, looking up from the sock, with a teasing glint in his eye.

“Oh I'm sure there's something I can do to make that up to you.” The smirk was evident, making Ryou blush a bit as he put his foot down and let go of Mariku.

“I'm sure you can.” The blush turned a shade darker but there was also a smile, the previous glint never leaving. “But maybe we should go now. Public place, Insane Bastard, come on.” Ryou started walking away, glancing over his shoulder, checking if Mariku would follow.

He did after chuckling at his new nickname. “Insane Bastard? How affectionate of you.”

“Hey, it's difficult to nickname you. I don't think you're _just_ an insane bastard, either, but I can't exactly call you 'cuddle muffin'.” It really looked like Ryou was giving this nickname business a lot of thought, which was amusing in a way. They fell in step with each other, continuing their way towards Ryou's house.

 

Xxx

 

Much to Ryou's relief, nothing had seemed to be missing when they had come back. He had to throw the pair of socks away but that was ok; the little walk had been worth the socks and more. Though, Mariku's behavior puzzled him sometimes, but he guessed that was part of the reasons the other was so interesting to have around.

“We're here, you can let go now.”

The voice snapped Ryou out of his thoughts; he had almost managed to forget that he was being taken to see where Mariku lived. How could he space out now? When he was sitting behind Mariku on his motorcycle, no less?

“Though, you don't have to let go if you don't want to.”

Ryou focused on the one talking and saw him smirk. “Ah well... I think it would be easier if I did... to walk and,” he stammered with his words while letting go and getting off, looking around. It looked a bit like the kind of neighborhood parents warned their kids about. There were a few people moving about, the buildings were dull gray and tall. The street where they had parked was narrow and the sun hardly shone there with all the buildings in the way of the rays.

The boy refrained from commenting and his opinion wasn't asked when they entered one of the buildings, took the elevator all the way up and stopped in front of a door down the hall.

“Welcome, it doesn't matter if you don't take your shoes off.” Mariku stepped in, after unlocking the door, and Ryou followed, removing his shoes out of habit and leaving them by the door that was locked behind him.

“Um it's...” Ryou tried to think of something to say. “...dim...” The curtains were shut so the only light there was, shone through the curtains. “I meant nice!”

“If you think it's terrible just say so,” Mariku said. “No one, besides me, comes here so it's good enough.” He sat on the couch and Ryou sat besides him, bitting his lip.

“But... don't you get lonely?” he asked. He knew he would.

Mariku directed a piercing gaze at the boy. “I love being alone. I don't even want anyone else here.”

“Oh...” Ryou looked at his hands, voice just above a whisper. “I don't... I hate being alone... I like to.. have company... someone around...” 

Mariku nodded, indicating that he had heard. “There's no point having company if you're still feeling alone... even with other people around.” 

Ryou looked back at the other, wanting to hear what he had to say, a bit amazed that he even continued on that topic. 

Mariku paused for a bit, facing ahead now. “It's better to be alone, than to feel alone in company.” 

Ryou didn't know what to say. It had truth to it, not that he fully agreed, but was the other just talking about loneliness in general, or perhaps in a smaller scale? “Mariku...” Ryou reached to place his hand on Mariku's shoulder before the older male started laughing, and Ryou quickly withdrew his hand, his eyes widening and startled, not sure what was going on.

The laugh was so empty that it scared and fascinated him. It echoed even in the small flat and Ryou was relieved when it ceased, turning into a chuckle and then just to a smirk. Mariku turned his eyes on Ryou again and the boy felt like backing off but knew better than that.

“Funny how the human mind works, no? Sometimes it feels that 'logic' is just a word, that it doesn't really mean anything.” Mariku was still smirking, nearly grinning as he spoke to Ryou, sounding amused and almost mocking. “Humanity's lovely _illusion_.”

“I, well... I guess it's true... partly, at least... sometimes... I haven't really thought it like that but...” Ryou paused to choose his words. “...things like logic are so abstract that maybe it's just difficult to tell what's logical and what's not?” How had they even ended up to this topic?

Mariku cocked his head to a side, body looking relaxed but the mind was not. “Like sanity; who really is sane? No one or everyone, I'd say,” he stopped to grin. “No one being the more likely option.”

Ryou nodded and gave a small smile, more at ease now. “Maybe so. You think this kind of things a lot, don't you?”

“I'm with my mind on daily basis.”

The boy laughed and pocked the other on the forehead. “And here I thought you were out of your mind for a second there.”

The previous smirk widened into a grin. “Why... I'm just as sane as everyone else.” 

“That, I can believe.” Ryou laughed more before the small amount of lighting started to bother him. “Do you mind if I open the curtains?” He didn't wait for the answer and went to pull the curtains open. From the window he could see the window of the building on the opposite side of the street that, not surprisingly, looked to be exactly like the window he was looking out from. Except that there was no Ryou behind the opposite window, of course.

“Set to lighten up my life, my sweet?” asked Mariku suddenly, chest pressing against Ryou's back as he began closing the curtains. Ryou gave him a confused glance. “The people living across the street can see straight through my window; it's better this way.”

And there was dark in the apartment again.

 

Xxx

 

Mariku had had to take Ryou home before his work night started. They hadn't done anything that involved getting out of the apartment, but perhaps tomorrow. Maybe they could find a horror movie Ryou _hadn't_ seen. Unlikely but not impossible.

He had got his goodnight kiss and somehow that made things a bit better, seeing that he had to go take care that random drunks wouldn't kill each other. Personally, he thought that it might be interesting to just let them fight it out and see how many of them would be alive after that. It would have a negative impact on his paycheck though. The customers needed to be mostly alive to get to the bar, after all. Shame. And then there was the fact that hardly anyone dared to pick a fight there anymore, not even while being drunk. Mariku just had to wonder if this strange behavior had _something_ to do with him.

His work place came to view and just the sight of it made his good mood come down a notch. The place was smelly, it was small, suffocating and crowded because it served cheap imported booze.

There was some chatter and yelling, but it became silent when Mariku stepped in and took his place, leaning against a wall, crossing his arms and letting his eyes roam around the room. The previous yells ceased to quiet whispers and few of the customers glanced at Mariku's way but most kept their eyes on their drinks. There were a couple of new faces but they were quickly shushed by the regulars.

Mariku smirked to himself; everyone were so well trained already. He might as well pay a bit less attention to these people and think about something else. The bartender looked his way and they exchanged brief nods, but Mariku's mind wasn't all there anymore. The white haired teen was uninvited, but not unwanted, guest in his thoughts, as well as in his life.

Ryou seemed to refuse to let him be alone.

 

Xxx

 

“Dad? I thought you already called today.” Ryou's phone had ringed only a few moments after he had arrived home and he had been greeted by his father's cheerful voice. He hadn't meant to sound like he wasn't glad that his father called, but that's how it came out for some reason and he felt like bitting his tongue.

“What? Can't I take interest in my son's life now? Especially when said son happens to be on another continent?”

“No, no, it's not that. I mean, of course you can... take interest and, yeah...” Ryou lightly hit his forehead and let his hand stay there; his thoughts were still going haywire thanks to a certain, so called goodnight kiss turned none too innocent. He must be grinning like a lovestruck idiot too. Great.

His father laughed in the other end. “Ryou, are you feeling fine? You sound so...”

“I couldn't be feeling much better, dad.” Or maybe if he was a little less confused or... “Anything interesting happened since you last called?” Ryou felt more comfortable when the topic wasn't him and he knew his father would be happy to tell about meetings or about whatever he had done, and the man started talking about what had been going on.

“That's... interesting...” Ryou commented and headed for the kitchen. He was hungry. Did he still have some of those chocolate things he had bought? “Sounds like fun. Uh-hu, yeah. Aha!” He found one!

“...You think sitting in the office when others go out is... _fun_..?”

“Ah... what?” Ryou stopped in mid-movement, the treat halfway to his mouth. Ryou had to admit that he hadn't been paying much attention to what his father had said, too caught up on his food and Mariku and... “I'm sorry, I wasn't... I wasn't really listening. Y-you had to stay in when...?” He could hear his father sigh and felt so rude and stupid for not paying attention.

“Never mind, it wasn't important. You're not really ok, are you? Ryou, you can tell me if there's something bothering you. Do you need me there? Or-”

“No, dad, I'm... fine. I'm ok, really,” Ryou hurried to assure, placing his food on the kitchen counter, not feeling hungry anymore. “You don't need to worry about me, I can take care of myself.” He could, he could! Couldn't he?

“...Are you sure? I could-”

“Yes!” He realized that he had just yelled; been far too loud to be convincing, and tried again. “I'm sure. Really dad, I'm the first to know if I'm not alright, aren't I?” He let out a laugh but it died almost as soon as it passed his lips. “You just... Don't worry about me.”

“Well... If you say so, son,” the man said slowly. “It must be getting late there so... maybe you'd like to go to bed already.”

“Um, yes,” Ryou yawned a bit too widely. “I'm very tired so uh, good... day? Night? Afternoon?” He could hear his father chuckle.

“Goodnight, Ryou.”

“Bye then...” Ryou wandered into the living room and flopped on the couch.

“Bye.”

Staring blindly into space, he wondered if he should go to bed already. Maybe sleep would clear his head and then he could think straight again, and when he would wake up in the morning, the sudden doubts would have disappeared. He could probably laugh at them tomorrow.

Of course he was fine, of course he was ok. Why wouldn't he be? He would know if he wasn't alright. Wouldn't he? “I'm happy.” There, that didn't even taste like a lie so it had to be true. “I'm perfectly and utterly... happy... with the way things are... now.” That wasn't supposed to be difficult to say either. He needed sleep. That was it; he was tired and needed to sleep and he could read something and...

“I should eat something,” Ryou muttered, but he couldn't get himself to go back to the kitchen so he went upstairs instead, taking his cell phone with him. He could eat in the morning. In the morning when _everything_ would be fine again. Everything. Mariku and him would rent a movie and things would be fine again.

“Exactly. Fine. Just dandy.” No need to make father worry over nothing. He should give Yuugi a call, though. No, he should call Mariku because he was... Mariku was his...

Ryou dialed a number, not caring, or knowing, what time it was. It beeped a few times before the person picked up.

“Ryou? Is it you?” asked a friendly, if not a bit surprised, voice from the other end.

Ryou took a deep breath, wondering what possessed him to do this. “Yuugi, hi... I'm sorry I'm calling this late...” Was it even that late? The apology was more of an automatic reaction than an actual apology.

“That's ok, it's not _that_ late yet anyway. So... what's up? Are you ok?” Yuugi sounded worried, making Ryou regret calling him and it was close that he didn't hang up. Why must everyone be so worried about him? He was _fine_!

Ryou remembered to breathe again, deeply, and tried his best to sound calm, which was everything he was not right now.

“I'm ok, I just... I really need a friend right now...” Maybe that was what had possessed him to call.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Wasn't it just wonderful to sit down with a friend, calm down and have some coffee? _Actual_ coffee, in a small coffee shop not far from the Kame Game Shop.

“Thanks for coming. Even if it's this early and all.” Ryou pulled off a smile, directing it to Yuugi who was sitting opposite to him in the small table next to a window. Yuugi returned the smile hesitantly, looking tired, his hair was messier than usually.

“Of course I came when you sounded so... odd over the phone yesterday.”

“I did? Oh. Well, I was just a bit...” What? He had been more than a bit out of it yesterday, but he wasn't completely sure why. It was as if something was nagging him in the back of his conscious mind. “I just wanted to... chat,” Ryou gave as his half-assed reason for his behavior. It wasn't a right out lie but it wasn't the truth either, and it was a small miracle that the youth managed to lift the corner of his mouth into something he hoped to look like a smile.

Yuugi frowned for a second before his face brightened up again. “I was trying to do my homework when you called, actually, because I was thinking about spending most of the weekend with the gang. Hey, do you have any plans for the weekend? For today?”

“I might have...” Ryou was supposed to spend time with Mariku, if memory served him right. Though, they didn't have anything planned yet.

“If you don't have much to do, you can always hang out with us,” Yuugi said with a smile.

“Thanks... But I should ask Mariku if... I... can...” Ryou grasped what he was saying during the last few words that left his mouth without him thinking them through. He looked down in his cup, frowning to himself and his own weird choice of words. It wasn't like he needed to ask _permission_ to spend time with his friend and said friend's friends.

“Um, Ryou?”

Yuugi's words fell on deaf ears. Ryou knew for sure that he liked spending time with Yuugi. He wasn't so sure about his friends but they seemed alright, based on the short meeting with them. But he also knew that _Mariku_ didn't like Yuugi, nor his friends, and now Ryou had to wonder if it would be safe, for Yuugi, to hang out with him.

“Ryou?”

“It's not _his_ decision anyway,” Ryou muttered under his breath. And wasn't it true that, in a way, Mariku had placed a claim on him in front of Yuugi already? Everything _should_ be alright now.

“Ryou! Are you in there?” Yuugi waved a hand in front of Ryou's face, getting his attention.

“Ah... Sorry, I...” Ryou scratched the back of his head. “Were you, um, saying something?” he questioned, feeling awkward about having spaced out. He had come here to be with Yuugi but his thoughts were on someone else entirely.

Yuugi shook his head, sighing. “That's ok,” he sent a worried frown at Ryou's way. “But... that person you're with, Mariku, he isn't... I mean, you're with him because you want to be and not... because...” Yuugi glanced between Ryou and his coffee cup before taking a deep breath and fully facing the other once again; eyes firm as if trying to see the answer from Ryou's reaction. “You're not forced into anything, are you?”

“No!” Ryou exclaimed, getting the attention of the few customers, which made him lower his voice and sink on his seat. “O-of course I'm not. W-Whatever makes you think that?”

“I meant no offense,” Yuugi raised his palms into a calming gesture, “It was just a thought, and I'm sure that you would leave him if things started to get... weird. Not that I assume that they will but, you know.” Hetook a drink of his coffee, but kept a close eye on Ryou while doing it.

Ryou frowned, following Yuugi's example and sipping his drink, turning his gaze to the window and the world outside. He had just wanted some company and a nice chat but instead he got an interrogation that didn't serve to ease his mind. And please; when weren't things “weird” with Mariku? Was it that bad if things got a bit on the weird side? It hadn't bothered him so far. But maybe, on some subconscious level, Ryou knew that he wouldn't leave Mariku even if things got a notch weirder than they were. Mariku wouldn't leave him or let him just walk out, that was for sure. His frown deepened at the thought of someone else being in control of his life, and he decided that the pressuring silence had gone on long enough.

“Enough about me, how are _you_?” Ryou asked, voice light even though his mind felt heavy. It was better if they didn't talk about him.

“Me? My life isn't nearly as interesting as yours is.”

Ryou blinked. His life was interesting now? He guessed it was. “Yeah, interesting...” Ryou stirred the remaining liquid in his cup. Funny how his life had gone from the most boring and uninteresting thing, to the latest favorite topic of every conversation. “But you mentioned something about your friends and hanging out, so...” Ryou tried again, silently begging Yuugi to talk about himself.

“Oh, right.” Yuugi took the hint and Ryou was grateful of that. “We're not doing anything special, they're coming over I think, and if you're not too busy with your lover, you can join us.”

If Ryou had had coffee in his mouth, he would have choked on it because of Yuugi's choice of words. “Busy with..?”

“Yes, you know, like going on a date.” The other gave Ryou a look. “What did you think I meant?”

“Nothing! We're not getting busy... I mean, being busy, maybe but... uh...” He needed to get out of here, out of this situation. “This weekend is... not good, maybe some other time.” Ryou forced a polite smile and got up, searching his pockets for money. “Here, my share.” He shoved some random coins to Yuugi and damned himself from having an imagination while preparing for his mad dash out of the coffee shop. “Nice talking to you bye!”

Yuugi was left sitting there when Ryou swiftly walked out the door and down the street. At least he managed not to run, but... since when had he fled from his problems? The thought almost made him go back, but the fresh, cool morning air! What a relief it was to just get out! Air!

Ryou stopped on his tracks. It was so relieving to get out; some of his problems were just blown away by the wind and by the fact that he no longer needed to deal with the situation.

To get out...

He gave a glance to the direction he had come from, contemplating on going back and spilling everything about what had been going on, about his Mariku, about... “Yes,” Ryou nodded as a silent decision formed, but he couldn't carry it out now, not after just walking away from Yuugi like he had. There was someone he had to confront about it first; not to ask a permission to do it, but to inform of what he was going to do.

He was going to tell his dad and Yuugi about... everything. It was the course of action that felt right to him because it was wrong to keep the ones he cared about completely in the dark. They could endanger themselves by doing something stupid if they didn't know, and it ate him up inside. Though, he was sort of scared of how Mariku would react. The guy wasn't the most stable person on the planet and, yes, he still scared Ryou on so many levels; on all the levels that weren't insanely fascinated or attracted, at least.

Ryou began to walk again as he was starting to get weird looks from people passing by. He had found out where Mariku worked on weekend days and it was a lot closer than where he lived, and this was urgent, so that's where Ryou decided to make his way to. He would rather see the other face to face than to tell about his plans over the phone, and perhaps it would be safer to do in a public place.

 

xxx

 

Yuugi watched as his friend practically ran down the street, farther and father away from him, and then stopped suddenly. A couple of people passed by blocking his view and he turned his eyes on the money Ryou had thrown at him. It was enough to pay for Ryou's cup of coffee, but that wasn't what worried him.

There was just something in the way the other acted that got him on his toes; something had changed after... after... When had it been? Not long after they had met and not long before he had been introduced to this Mariku person.

Ryou might be in some sort of trouble and Yuugi had no idea how to help him. He had tried to get Ryou out with the gang but that hadn't worked. He didn't want to butt into Ryou's business too much; that would only drive the other further away. What should he do?

Maybe Anzu would know. She just seemed to know this kind of things about people. Must be some girl thing, woman's intuition perhaps. If he could somehow ask without giving away too many details, everything would probably work out for the better.

The thought of calling to Anzu always made his palms sweat, whether it was for advise or otherwise. It was silly, really. They had been friends for so long; he didn't need to be nervous! And yet... Yuugi shook his head in an attempt to put his own issues aside and went to pay for the drinks.

 

xxx

 

Upon arriving to work, Mariku knew that this wouldn't be his ordinary, boring day of having to care about the needs of some random grocery shopping people.

The pleasant, but unexpected, surprise flashed but couldn't otherwise be seen from his face. Mariku dismounted his motorcycle, starting his approach on Ryou, who was leaning lightly on the buildings wall, looking around. Mariku noticed the light frown the boy wore but wasn't expecting it to intensify when Ryou spotted him. There was something so determinate in the frown that it made Mariku rise an eyebrow in curiosity. Now, what could have brought this on?

“ _Good_ morning,” Mariku greeted, mouth threatening to from into a smirk when Ryou's determination faltered ever so slightly. “What owes me this pleasure?”

“We need to talk,” Ryou told, regathering almost all of his previous attitude.

Hmm... This seemed important. “We'll talk after work.” And with that, Mariku turned to walk through the shop door but his arm was grabbed, making him stop and turn his eyes towards the paler teen, whose frown was nearly twisted into a glare.

“No. This is important, don't just walk away like that.”

 _No_? Do _n't_? Mariku's usual uncaring look changed into that of suddenly built up anger, eyebrows arching, eyes narrowing and jaw tensing. Fear flashed in the brown depths staring back at him and the hold on his arm lightened.

“Do not give me orders, Ryou. I told you once before; don't tell me what I can't do,” he reminded, voice so cold that it could have chilled a polar bear.

Ryou flinched, but his fearful expression turned into a sad one and his hold on Mariku's arm changed to a gentle touch. “...Please, couldn't I speak with you sooner?”

 _This_ took Mariku back. He had thought that Ryou would back away, run, hide, maybe yell, throw a fit or cry, but instead Ryou gazed at him like that, touched him without malice and requested, not ordered... For a moment Mariku had not a clue what to do.

“Y-yes, well...” Did he just _stutter_? “That... I could...” Mariku had to pause. Less talking and more looking away from those goddamn eyes! He faced forward and carefully brushed Ryou's hand off of his arm because where the touch was calming, it was also distracting. “I have a short break; we could meet during it,” Mariku informed, feeling more collected now that he had no contact to the boy, except for the feeling that the other was still there, looking at him and- Just being there!

“Okay,” Ryou agreed, voice so cheery all of a sudden that Mariku glanced at him against his better judgment.

The boy had a small smile on his face, but it wasn't one of his usual, kind smiles. It was like he had just made a great discovery; something that amused him and relieved him at the same time, making him seem more relaxed.

“What?”

The blasted smile widened. “Oh nothing,” was the lighthearted answer, accompanied by a hand wave that somehow magically landed on Mariku's chest and Ryou leaned in to give his lips a quick peck. Too quick if one asked him, but the look Ryou gave him afterwards could have melted an iceberg.

“I'm just glad that you're only human too.”

Mariku blinked at the odd statement, not sure if he should be insulted by it, as Ryou let his hand slip away and backing off a few steps before turning to walk away.

As he stood there a few minutes, Mariku realized that this was not just an obsession anymore.

It was _weakness_. One weakness that could be mutual and gave the power to destroy with great ease. Damn Ryou for making him feel.

 

xxx

 

Even with the resent discovery of Mariku's humanity, Ryou was still on edge about this. It wasn't the reaction that worried him anymore. It was more a question of what, or how much, he would share about this situation with his father and Yuugi. He had thought that he would just tell everything, but now, when he had had time to think it through, he wasn't so sure.

Wouldn't it be a terrible shock to his friend and family to hear the whole truth? Ryou was starting to think that it would be better to edit it up a bit, for others' sake.

And maybe for their own.

Ryou was barely focusing on where he was going, too deep in thought. This was the direction the shop was..? He looked around and concluded that it had to be; his sense of direction couldn't be _that_ bad. He had only walked around for a bit, while waiting for Mariku's break and, Ryou looked around, actually that building right ahead had to be it. At least it looked familiar so he decided to head towards it, walking in a quicker pace.

Sure enough, the person he had been waiting for stepped out, a paper cup in hand. Mariku spotted him from the corner of his eye and took a sip from his cup, turning his eyes ahead again. That glance and just the way the other held himself made a small alarm bell go off in Ryou's mind. He couldn't pin point the reason why, not exactly, and to the common eye the behavior wouldn't seem threatening, but there was something off that made Ryou slow his pace. This “common eye” hadn't spent as much time with Mariku as Ryou had, so what did it know anyway?

The boy soon reached the other, but before he could get a word out of his mouth, he was beaten to it.

“What was so important?”

The question was straight to the point, but that in itself didn't bother Ryou, not as much as the fact that Mariku wasn't looking at him. It made him feel uneasy how he was being ignored and it never spelled good when the other refused to look at him. And, besides, Ryou had the impression that Mariku liked looking at him.

“...Is there something wrong?” Ryou questioned. Maybe he had done or said something. Yes, that must be it; perhaps Mariku was upset because Ryou had managed to convince him to meet with him earlier than he had wanted to or-

“You didn't come all the way here just to ask that,” was the statement Ryou received as an answer and he took it as a 'yes'.

“Well, no, I didn't but...” he trailed off with a sigh; this felt terribly like talking to a brick wall, or maybe volcano was a better metaphor. It was like talking to a volcano; one could never know if it was hearing you out but it could always erupt.

Ryou took a calming breath before opening his yap again. “The reason I... I want to tell my father and Yuugi about... this all.” He almost used the word 'relationship', but changed his mind, none too sure if it counted as one and didn't think this was the right time to bring that matter up.

The cup that had been on its way to Mariku's lips, halted. “'This all'?,” he echoed. “What a wonderful choice of words, Ryou. And why is it that you want to blow it all up now? Maybe it's your way of saying that you wish to dump me?”

That stung. It hurt much worse than it should have, seeing how they weren't really... He wasn't really... in love with... “It's not like that at all!” Ryou surprised himself by yelling and clapped a hand over his mouth out of reflex. “I mean... that's not what I..,” he mumbled from behind his hand. At least his exclamation had gotten Mariku's undivided attention.

“What do you think telling those people about everything would achieve?” Mariku asked, voice still cool, but eyes not as much so. “Your dear father would most likely try to lock me up for ever even glancing at you, and Yuugi would never leave you alone again, not to mention his little friends who would probably 'help you out' as well.”

For some reason, Ryou found this funny. Not like 'hahaaa, that's so funny' kind of way, but more ' oh the sweet irony' sort of way. “And you assume that they won't without knowing? My father thinks that I have some sort of issues already and even offered to come back early, and as for Yuugi... He thinks that you're forcing me in this, even though you wouldn't have to because I want to be with you, but I was just worried about how much power you have over me and it's getting difficult to keep this from, you know, my dad and Yuugi mostly because I care about them and wouldn't want them to butt in when it's not good for them. And I was sort of worried that you would harm them, I'm sorry, but I guess I have trouble trusting you since you're not the most stable person and I'm not sure if I should when you're all confusing and I can't figure you out even though I try! You know I really felt bad last night and I think it was uncertainty so I called Yuugi and now I wish I had called you instead because now I made him worry again and that's not good, but I don't know how I feel or how you feel and what this is and-”

“Ryou.”

He paused and refocused on Mariku, having been pacing and waving his hands as he ranted. He had gotten carried away there, but now he felt so much better. Mariku wore a smirk, but it had a softer quality to it that made Ryou's heart flutter for reasons unknown to him.

“You shouldn't go too long without breathing; I heard it's bad for you.”

Heat rose to his cheeks as Ryou realized that he hadn't been breathing, first because of his ranting and then because of Mariku. He had started to feel a bit dizzy. “Sorry... I didn't mean to rant,” Ryou apologized with a small smile.

“Don't apologize. Now I don't have to figure you out all by myself. I should have know that you were worried about that brat's and your father's safety...”

Ryou was quick to get out of the mine field. “I also know that you don't like them... I wish you could get along, but if you can't then... I think it would be better if they knew when to stay away...” Like how Ryou was learning what to do to prevent his volcano from starting to spit lava on the poor, unsuspecting mankind.

“Is that so... We should get together to talk about this matter, but now, I must get back to work.” Mariku gulped from his cup and threw it away. “I'll come over after I get out of here,” then he paused like he had just remembered something, “...if that's ok with you,” Mariku added.

Ryou blinked, pleasantly surprised that his opinion was asked, and smiled softly. “I'll see you then.”

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

For some reason Mariku failed to be very surprised to see Ryou on the phone when he opened the door for him. The boy smiled a nervous greeting, gesturing him to come in, and wordlessly pointed at the cell next to his ear, mouthing 'my dad'. Mariku nodded and silently followed the other to the living room, where Ryou paced about while carrying on a conversation with his father who did most of the talking.

“No... no... yes... What? Of course not. ...I know that but-”

Ryou gave Mariku a glance before walking to the kitchen. Mariku took a seat on the couch, but kept an ear out for the conversation, a grin threatening to form. It wasn't a happy grin, but one of those 'I knew it' type of grins. The kitchen wall didn't block away much of Ryou's words as his voice was getting louder.

“No! It's really- But-! Dad, please..! No, you don't have to- Yes! So he's a bit different- Listen-”

Mariku chuckled in faint amusement and got up to see the one who made all those frustrated attempts to get his own words out without being interrupted. It was rude to listen on other people's calls but he didn't care, and this little “incident” was his fault anyway, it seemed. He reached to kitchen doorway just in time to see Ryou shout at the phone. It wasn't the most pissed off Ryou he had seen but it came close.

“Dad- would you-! Shut up and listen!” Ryou yelled, before his eyes widened and he clapped his free hand over his mouth, face sporting an expression of shock. Mariku grinned widely at the outburst and the reaction while Ryou hurried to mutter an apology to his no doubt equally as surprised father.

“I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...” Ryou glanced at his guest, “He's here now so you can... uh, yes, dad, I invited him over... you can talk to him...” Ryou held the cell phone up to Mariku, who looked at it with an arched eyebrow before taking it.

“Please be nice,” was Ryou's whispered plea.

Mariku let his grin widen. “Aren't I always?” Ryou's eyes grew larger again, realizing that this was not the best idea after all, and he made an attempt to get the phone back but Mariku escaped the boy's reach and held the cell to his ear.

“Mr. Bakura.”

“Keep your hands off my son,” came the voice of a concerned middle aged man trying, and failing, to cover up his worry with anger.

“No,” he simply stated, focusing his eyes on Ryou, “I think your son doesn't want my hands off him.”

Ryou blushed, “Mariku!” he scolded quietly, making a dash for his cell and Mariku let him snatch it back, smirking at his scowl. “Sorry about that,” Ryou spoke to his father, “Maybe we should- No, there's no need for you to- I'll be- No, really, I-”

Mariku rolled his eyes and swiftly took the device back.

“Hey! What-!” Ryou protested.

“Your precious son wishes to hang up on you now, bye.”

“Don't you dare-!”

Tan finger pressed the correct button and Mr. Bakura never got to finish his sentence. Ryou glared when the phone was handed back to him, but made no effort to call back. “Did you have to do that?” Ryou asked, placing the cell on a kitchen counter.

“Did you not want to get rid of him for now?” And besides, it seemed that they indeed had things to talk over.

Ryou sighed and scratched the back of his head. “Well, yes, sort of... But I can't just tell him off; he's my father after all.”

“Yes, the same one you told to shut up a few moments ago,” Mariku pointed out with a smirk, and Ryou laughed nervously.

“Um, yeah... I can't believe I did that. I've never-” The cell started ringing and they both turned their eyes to it, but neither made a move to pick it up. “...It's my dad again,” Ryou mumbled.

Mariku noticed how Ryou looked uncertainly at the phone, not seeming to want to pick it up, and decided to take the matters into his own hands once again. He snaked his arm around Ryou's waist, starting to lead him out of the kitchen. “What was it you wanted to talk about?” He knew already what the other had wanted to discuss, but wasn't it a bit late to talk about it _after_ Ryou had acted already? On his own too, without consulting with him first. Ryou had only informed about it, even though it concerned him as well. It made him annoyed, though he realized that that's what he himself would have done. And he had been so nice about it too, even asking permission to come over, which was not something he usually did. Was it too much to ask for Ryou to wait a few hours before taking action?

“Maybe I should answer... He'll get worried...” Ryou looked back towards the kitchen just when they had gotten out of there and the phone still rang in the background. Mariku glanced at the boy's distressed face and they both kept walking to the couch.

Then again, Ryou was special so maybe he could let some of it slide. Oh well, it was out now though he didn't know how much Ryou had told, but apparently much if anything could be concluded from the father's reaction. He had seemed upset, to Mariku's amusement.

“So,” Mariku sat them both on the couch, not letting go of Ryou, “What does your father know?”

Ryou glanced nervously between Mariku and the far side of the couch, trying to scoot away. “Um, almost everything... Except for... I didn't tell him that I thought you were going to kill me first, and I said nothing about stalking; I just told that you took interest in me.” He had gotten a bit farther away but was pulled back and Mariku took a firmer hold of him, wrapping his other arm around him too and turning fully sideways to face him, directing an intense stare to the brown eyes of the person who he had “taken an interest in”. There was a strange combination of fear and affection in those eyes; one combo he had never seen before, but it fascinated him without end.

“I thought we were going talk this through _before_ you do anything.” Or, that had been what he had sort of _hoped_ would happen.

“Well, actually... The original plan was to just inform you about it...” Ryou said and failed to form a smile. “Look, I have to tell them.” The ringing of the phone stopped and Ryou struggled some to get up. “I'm calling Yuugi, let me go Mariku.”

“No,” he spoke, holding the other still. The will to regain the control over the situation brought the steady anger, as it had so many times before, but, he realized, it wasn't brought on by Ryou. “Stay put and-”

“Would you stop telling me what to do?!” Ryou exclaimed, interrupting Mariku, “I can make my own decisions; I've been doing them for- for a long time, ok?! I don't need you to-umph!”

Ryou's back was pressed against the seat of the couch, Mariku's hand blocking his yells. The boy struggled and kicked but, to Mariku, it seemed rather feeble of an attempt, like Ryou wasn't in such a terrible hurry to get up, even if he was trying to act it. That, or he was in serious need of self defense lessons. The fighting back ceased slowly and Ryou just glared up at him, warm breath hitting his palm in irregular huffs.

“Do _not_ yell at me.”

The glare got stronger. Mariku had somehow never noticed how intense the boy's eyes could be, how much inner strength was hidden beneath. And he had thought that he had payed close attention. The thought brought another with it, and he sat up, letting his hand slip away from Ryou's mouth.

How much did he really know?

The boy's glare turned to a suspicious, if not confused, look, but he didn't try to get up or away. Ryou eyed Mariku as he watched and wondered if he was in deeper than he would like to. But hadn't Ryou said, at some point, that he wanted to get to know him? I stupid thing to want and one should watch what they wished for. Then again, he had nothing to lose, except for...

Ryou had tinted pink and was starting to look uncomfortable. “Uh... What is it?,” he asked quietly. “Did you run out of demands already?”

Mariku shook his head and smiled humorlessly. “Never,” he stated and continued, thoughtful, “We should... go somewhere, now, or later, together. Afterwards you can do whatever, call that brat if you want.” That didn't come out as smoothly as he would have liked it to. Ryou didn't seem to notice though. The boy was frowning but didn't look as angry as he had been, maybe a bit wary.

“...Ok,” Ryou said slowly after a while. “Where to?”

“You decide.” Mariku swore that if this had been anyone else, he would have told them where to go, what to wear, and hell, even what toothpaste to use, but it appeared that he was going soft. Though, perhaps it was worth it when Ryou smiled, got up and kissed him, stroked his hair and said that thing about being a human again, like it was supposed to be a compliment, though, he guessed it was. He just wondered how long would Ryou be willing to smile at him, call him human, or even stick around.

“You know, I don't really like crowds and I'm guessing you don't either...” Ryou's voice broke through his thoughts after a while. “So maybe we could stay here and,” he laughed nervously, “watch a movie or something.”

Mariku smirked, “A horror movie?” That could be interesting; he had never seen Ryou while he watched a horror, but he had always sounded so... high on the phone afterwards.

“Yeah...” Ryou scratched the back of his head, “Of course. Is there other types of movies? I'm not sure if we can find one you would like to see and I _haven't_ seen yet, though.”

 

xxx

 

Finding the right movie to watch did form a problem, but that didn't bother Ryou nearly as much as the stare they got from the one behind the register. Mariku didn't seem to notice, or he just didn't care.

“This one?” a movie was held near Ryou's face so he could see the cover.

“Seen it. It was horrible and not in the good way. The sequel was much better, surprisingly.” Ryou saw Mariku's amused glance from the corner of his eye as he kept tracing his finger past many titles, not coming across one that could capture his interest. The register person, who Ryou had seen working here before, took out a magazine but kept peeking over it. “Mariku, we're being watched... It's creeping me out,” Ryou whispered to the other.

“Correction; _you_ are being watched, and that's not the first time. Found anything yet?”

“Not yet. What do you mean?” he asked with a frown. “I haven't noticed anyone staring.”

Mariku let out a short chuckle. “You're blind, Ryou. You didn't notice me either, remember?”

“Oh yeah...” Mariku did have a point there; he wasn't easy to _not_ notice and Ryou couldn't help but wonder if there had been much else he had missed. “Maybe he's just surprised that I didn't come alone; I've seen him work here before.”

“Or maybe he thinks you're a girl.”

Ryou was supposed to only give him a short glare, but he stopped when he saw how Mariku quickly glanced at the one behind the casher. It was only a quick look from the corner of his eye but when the other turned his eyes back to the movies, they looked so hateful for a second that it almost made Ryou back away a few steps.

“W-what is it?”

“I think I'll go carve some eyes out while you decide on the movie,” Mariku whispered back, no humor in his voice and he shoved one movie to Ryou. “This ok?”

Ryou nearly dropped the tape, but it was one he hadn't seen before and it was better if they left as soon as possible. It didn't look promising but Ryou didn't want any trouble to form here. “Yes, that seems alright. I'll go r-”

“No, I'll go,” Mariku cut him off and took the movie back. “You go wait outside.”

“...I think I'll rather wait here,” Ryou decided, just for the safety of the mostly unknown register person. There were other people renting movies too and causing a huge scene over such a small thing as a bit of staring didn't feel like a good idea.

To Ryou's relief, the short exchange Mariku and the register guy had seemed civil enough, and they got out without anyone losing an eye, or two. Ryou had figured early on that Mariku was the jealous, possessive type, but he wondered if he would carry out his threats, though he did sound convincing when making them. Ryou shook off his thoughts for now and concentrated on walking, and on Mariku who seemed calm again, but it wasn't that kind of soothing calmness. Instead it was the deadly sort, the one that comes before the storm. Was Mariku always like this? Ryou frowned in thought and supposed that he really was blind when it came to noticing certain things.

He would have to get better at it.

“I could make us something to eat, or we could order in. Which one would be better?” Ryou tried to brighten the mood, expect that he wasn't sure if it was dark in the first place.

“I thought you were tired of me telling you what to do.” Mariku's eyes were still on the street ahead when he spoke.

“Doesn't mean I don't want your opinion, and besides; I already got to decide what we'd do and where so it's only fair.” Ryou smiled at the other, hoping that he would get his idea of fairness.

“I'd prefer if you made something.”

“Ok!” Ryou chirped. He knew he would be in trouble with his father later on, but that didn't have to ruin his right now. He looked up at the sky as they walked in silence and wondered if there was something he could say or do to make his father less upset. Sure, it was partly Mariku's fault for being so tactless, but he had lost it too.

The sky looked gray and Ryou hoped it would rain this evening. It looked like it could and there were even darker clouds in the horizon. Ryou kept smiling and gently took Mariku's hand, whispering, “I hope it thunders tonight”, and gave the hand a squeeze, which was returned silently.

 

xxx

 

“ _I'll be right back. Just wait here, ok?”_

A snort.

_The person left to go farther into the house, leaving the other behind. A close up of the person's face, then of the door._

Mumble. “Stupid camera angle...”

_A cat ran down the hall, meowing loudly on its way. Pressuring music, then no music at all, just the sound of breathing and footsteps. The person got attacked with a rhino tranquilizing gun and-_

Ryou burst into fits of laughter without an apparent reason, not one Mariku could see anyway. The boy pointed at the TV screen, trying to get words out while laughing. “That- that-,” some more laughing, “I'm sorry but- I-,” the laughing ceased enough for him to talk properly. “That was so random, but it sort of reminded me of this other scene...”

The way Ryou acted while watching the movie was a lot more interesting than the movie itself, as Mariku had soon discovered. Everything that happened on the screen would cause some reaction in Ryou, whether it was bored, mildly interested, a comment, or a fit of laughter. Mariku found it intriguing when the other would snort, or snicker, even laugh, during a death scene, commenting on things like how the blood looked fake. It was, in fact, very attractive and he found it difficult to look, or stay, away.

“Pfft, how original...” Another comment, accompanied by a bored look. “I think I've seen this movie or one just like it before...” Ryou turned to face Mariku instead, blinking and tinting pink when he saw Mariku staring right back. “Um... I take it that you don't like the movie much either.”

“Hm, but I do enjoy watching you laugh when someone dies.”

Ryou looked embarrassed about his own behavior and watched the screen again. “Sorry... I'm used to watching these alone and... the people don't really... They don't really die...” Near the end his voice became more sorrowful, but when he spoke to the other again, instead of the TV, he smiled. “They just do a bad job acting like they are.”

Mariku chuckled. “True. And then the ones who 'killed' them get blood everywhere. Amateurs.” He got a weird look, but the boy seemed curios never the less, even happy for some reason. “What?” he couldn't help but ask; normally talk about dying or killing didn't make people happy.

Ryou smiled softly; he looked so fond of him, and Mariku realized that the other must be even deeper in this than he was. “You're opening up to me. I'm glad.” He blushed and laughed, glancing down. “Er, even if it's about stuff like that.”

It amazed the tan teen how insignificant things like that could make the other happy. “You are so weird sometimes, Ryou.”

“Am not!” Ryou protested and Mariku gave him a look and he sighed, “Ok, you're right, except about the 'sometimes' part.”

Mariku smirked. “I meant it in the good way.”

“You can do that?” Ryou questioned and the other laughed. Ryou glanced at the screen again, to check if something interesting was happening yet. “Oh look, I think she's getting herself killed,” the teen commented, just to get the sentence out before his mouth sealed by another and when the lady screamed out her agonizing death, Ryou's eyes closed and lips parted to let Mariku taste him. There had always been something that interrupted moments like these in the past, or something that prevented them; frustrating really. Now no distraction could come from the outside.

Rain drops started to drum the roof and he could feel Ryou smile, body warm and mouth even warmer, pressing against his, touching and wishing to be touched. Mariku wasn't entirely sure what was it with Ryou and rain, but the lithe body on his lap, and soon under him, drained away his coherent thought. Not thinking too much was bliss and he could taste the treats Ryou had made them on him.

The TV was still on; over acted dying sounds and gun shots were coming from it, but the sounds the other made were so much better, more real. The rain came down harder and they had to breath but only a little; one only needed oxygen to stay alive, after all. It was never agreed that they should move slowly, and when the thunder struck, Ryou bucked under him, wrapping his leg around his waist, pressing them closer.

Mariku grinned, but as the lightning struck again and the rain poured down, he thought he felt Ryou cry. When he pulled away enough to look the other in the eye, the boy's eyes were wet but he smiled up at him and shook his head, and as the thunder roared outside, Ryou laughed and Mariku wiped his tears away.

 

xxx

 

What day was it?

Ryou woke up and discovered that he wasn't sure. How long had he stayed up last night? Not long. Mariku had to get to work last night. It was still the weekend. Sunday. He only got part of Sunday night and the whole Monday night off. Ryou noticed that he was still wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday and groaned, getting up and heading for the bathroom.

The shower water was warm but it served to wake him up. He hadn't yet called Yuugi, nor back to his dad. He wanted to call Mariku, but knew he was at work and most likely unable to pick up. Ryou's thoughts wandered back to last evening; maybe he truly loved Mariku like he had thought back then. But now it was morning and the sun was shining, the other nowhere in sight, and now he wasn't so sure anymore. He let his head thump against the shower wall, feeling like an idiot; first for starting to fall for Mariku and then for not knowing if he had fallen for him at all.

Ryou got out of the shower and went downstairs to get breakfast. He should get his homework done today. First, he looked out of the kitchen window, he would go out, walk and clear his head. He could take the movie back as well, while he was at it.

When he arrived to his regular movie renting store, his vision was attacked by movie titles like “Falling in Love” and “How do you know when you're in Love” and quickly ran to the safety of the horror movie section. His eyes darted around and stopped on familiar movie covers. He pulled it out of the shelf; it was the one with the almost screaming, telephone holding woman on its cover, the one he had seen not so long ago, when he hadn't been aware of the situation yet.

Ryou stared at the picture horrified of a woman for a while before smiling at it and whispering, “I'm you and I'm loving it.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

Eyes closed on the couch head on top of his bent arm laid Mariku looking relaxed, even asleep. But he was never one for sleep, only sleeping a couple of hours a night to keep functioning. Sleeping pills weren't an option as they only managed to knock him out. It wasn't real, restful sleep and never left him feeling more awake or rested. Some might say that his fleeting sanity was because of the lack of sleep, but he never thought that to be true. His lack of sleep was because of his fleeting sanity. There had been a time when he had been able to sleep and his gift for sleep had been amazing, constant, 24/7. He had slept through his life, never noticing it slipping away, never questioning the daily routines and never looking into the mirror to his peacefully sleeping face.

Then he had woken up. He would not fall asleep again.

Mariku's hand was starting to feel numb so he moved it to his side. The movement knocked down his cell that had been resting on the small table next to the couch. The phone hit the floor with a dull thud and Mariku squeezed his already closed eyes more shut in annoyance, but didn't bother to move just yet. It wasn't worth it and the stupid contraption could wait. Stupid contraption indeed, he mused and his mouth twisted into a smirk.

“ _Hello..?”_

Mariku turned on his side to pick the phone up. Maybe he could give Ryou a call? God, he was so obsessed... They had only seen each other yesterday but perhaps he could ask about the strange behavior.

_The boy was laughing and crying, apologizing the gone moment and telling over and over again that he was alright, even though Mariku hadn't asked. The thunder clapped, the movie credits rolled and Ryou went on and on about how he loved rain and thunder and horror and... Mariku listened and wondered if the foolish boy was finally loosing it._

He dialed the number from memory and waited. The walls seemed to be closer now than they should be. It happened sometimes in the small space, and that's when he made a swift exit, not running or screaming because that would be bellow his dignity. He should go out somewhere.

“ _Hello..?”_

No answer, the phone had been switched off. His eyebrows knitted together. Why? Was Ryou avoiding him now? Then he remember the father and the phone call from yesterday, along with Ryou's “plan”. Mariku couldn't help but roll his eyes. The boy could be such a fool. If he was going to clear this mess with his father, and that brat of a friend, this was certainly not the way to do it. Someone needed to be set straight. It was Mariku to the rescue, he let a twisted smile adore his face at the thought. It was right on time, too; now he had a reason to get out. More often and often his reason to do anything appeared to be a certain person with a dangerous liking to horror, and Mariku.

“ _Hello..?”_

 

xxx

 

Ryou sat in front of his desk, a few books scattered around, nose in one of them. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and let his head rest on the desk, starting to sport a headache, hungry and tired. He had long ago finished his homework and this was just extra to keep his mind occupied, to give him an excuse to do _something_. He had even rented the god damn phone stalker movie but hadn't watched it yet. He didn't even like the stupid movie. Now that he thought of it, why had he even rented it? Maybe he should show it to Mariku; he would be amused.

Ryou lifted his head when his stomach let out a complaint and slowly got up from the chair, eying the books laying around, deciding to gather them up later. His eyes also met the cell phone on the bed, right next to his math book. He had turned it off earlier and kept telling himself that he was not running away from his problems, he was merely getting himself some more time to think over what he would say. That's it, no avoiding for him. He would talk to his father when he was ready. This time he would have it all planned out before taking action.

Down the stairs he went, hoping over a few of them out of a recently developed habit.

_Ryou ran down the stairs, an uncounted number of stairs with one step, and took a turn towards the front door. If only he could make it out, there was bound to be someone outside._ He hadn't made it out, now had he? How lucky was he?

Passing the living room on his way to the kitchen, eyes quickly glancing over the movie on the table just before stepping through the kitchen doorway. As he decided to make a sandwich, feeling too lazy to cook and running out of things to cook, he once again wondered about the damn movie. Walking out of the kitchen, leaving his sandwich ingredients on the counter, Ryou went to put the movie on. The movie started and he went back to the kitchen to make his sandwich, slightly annoyed by his own strange behavior. It seemed to happen more often and often now, like last night. He hadn't been sad, in fact he had been feeling quite happy there with Mariku and the horror and the thunder and pouring rain. He had thought that he had done all his crying already but it appeared not to be so after all.

Ryou didn't bother to go to the living room and ate his small meal where he was. He could still hear the voices as he munched on, deciding that he liked Mariku's voice better than that of the guy in the movie. It was so much nicer to listen to and, Ryou blushed faint pink, sometimes even entered his dreams.

“Groceries,” Ryou stated out of nowhere to get out of his track of thought. He needed to go grocery shopping. Now, yes now would be a good time. He didn't want to starve and was in serious need of something to do, something that didn't involve anything Mariku related. Shopping for food was simple and he didn't need to get emotional about it. Life should be more like grocery shopping, Ryou thought, smiling and shaking his head at the weirder workings of his own mind.

He dug out the money his father had left him and glanced out the window to determine if he needed to dress warmer. It looked pretty cold outside, the few trees and bushes moving in the wind and a couple of people walking by wearing coats. Ryou headed upstairs to get a nice and warm sweater.

In the midst of searching for the sweater, he happened to look out of the window of his room, stopping his search with wide eyes. He blinked and went to his window to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. True enough, Mariku was walking down the street with Yuugi of all people! What were they doing here? Together no less. Were they actually talking in a civilized manner? Though, Yuugi's eyes looked a bit wide, but didn't they always? He couldn't help the feeling that there was something wrong with this picture and he felt like a cornered animal.

“Oh dear,” Ryou muttered and looked around frantically in case his father was somewhere closing in on him too.

 

xxx

 

While driving to Ryou's, Mariku had spotted a familiar strange hairdo walking down the street towards the same location he was heading. He decided to seize this opportunity to have a nice little chat with this Yuugi, without Ryou there to interrupt or meddle.

He parked his motorcycle nearby and strode to catch up with the boy walking ahead, oblivious of his presence. Mariku caught up with and slowed down to match Yuugi's walking speed, falling in step beside him.

“Hello, Yuugi,” Mariku greeted and grinned as the smaller male jumped at the sound of his voice, looking up.

“Oh! Hello,” Yuugi didn't seem sure whether to be relieved or more startled, his lips turning upwards into forced smile but he sounded pleasant none the less. “Mariku, was it? W-what brings you here? Going to see Ryou?”

Mariku nodded, “Yes and I trust you are too.” It wasn't a question and it hadn't been meant as such, but he got an answer anyway.

“Yeah, I thought I'd ask if he wanted to come over, but I couldn't reach him by phone so I decided to pay a small visit. To see if he's alright.” The last bit was added as Yuugi sent a meaningful look, devoid of any friendly or faked smile.

Mariku arched his eyebrows, “Hmm? Maybe he would be more alright if  _people_ stopped thinking that his boyfriend is somehow harming him all the time and left him  _alone_ .” 

Suddenly Yuugi didn't sound all that pleasant anymore, frown forming. “I'm sorry if I'm wrong but... You're not?”

“I haven't laid a threatening finger on him. Well, unless,” Mariku grinned and licked his lips, “he's asked for it.”

Yuugi looked puzzled for a while before it all dawned to him and he was quick to look away, face flushed. “Oh,” he said quietly, looking ahead at the house they both were heading towards. The house wasn't far away, Mariku noted and he got to his point, face not showing much emotion, he too facing the direction they were going.

“ _You_ on the other hand,” Mariku started, “are not so well off.” He noticed from the corner of his eye that Yuugi's attention was on him again, question all over his face. “Leave Ryou alone, do not bring our 'abusive' relationship up ever again if you value the welfare of you and your little group.”

Yuugi's eyes widened visibly to the size of even bigger saucers, voice higher than usual. “A-are you threatening me?”

Mariku looked down on the boy with a smirk. “Yes, and I make no empty threats.”

Yuugi stopped, mouth hanging slightly open, clearly not knowing what to say or how to react. Mariku guessed that no one had ever threatened his life before. Mariku enjoyed the situation fully. He too had stopped and turned to face Yuugi, back facing the house.

“Just remember little Yuugi... Ryou is _mine_.” Mariku growled with a sudden spout of possessiveness, mouth turning into a feral grin. Yuugi took a step back and Mariku's grin lessened to an almost pleasant smirk and he turned to walk towards his destination again. “Shall we go visit Ryou then?” he questioned lightly, spotting the one who held his _deep_ affection in the window, watching them, looking somewhat disbelieving just before noticing that he had been spotted and retreating. 

“W-what?” Yuugi asked with a high pitched voice before recovering. “I thought-”

“Oh just this once, otherwise my dear Ryou will get suspicious. Come now and speak nothing of this _exchange_.” 

 

xxx

 

After getting away from the window, Ryou grabbed all the things he needed with him and ran downstairs. The doorbell rang just when he opened the door and he greeted his surprise guests with an awkward smile

“Hi. I was just leaving so this is sort of a bad time...”

“Oh, where are you going?” asked Yuugi.

“Grocery shopping. I'm all out so I really have to go. Bye!” Ryou attempted to dash through the two people crowd blocking his escape, but as he passed them, a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He recognized the touch, shivering a bit, hoping that no one noticed. Though, of course Mariku would notice; what didn't he? Ryou turned his head to give the other a questioning glance over his shoulder.

“I'll come with you,” told Mariku, leaving no room for an argument.

“Then I'll come too! ...If that's ok with you?” Yuugi threw Mariku a nervous look but the question was directed to Ryou, who just sighed and nodded, pulling himself out of Mariku's grip to walk ahead. It would be an interesting trip to the store...

Ryou wondered what the two trailing him one step behind wanted. What had the exchange between them been about? Had it been about him? Ryou hoped it hadn't been anything bad, or about him, but somehow that felt unlikely. What else could those two talk about except him? About the weather? Oh he could just see it now...

“ _Hello Mariku!”_

“ _Why, hello Yuugi!”_

“ _Say, isn't the weather lovely today?”_

“ _Absolutely, Yuugi!”_

“ _No clouds in the sky...”_

“ _Hm.”_

“ _Sun's shining...”_

“ _Hm.”_

“ _Birds are singing...”_

“ _I hate you by the way, thought you should know.”_

“ _Really? Well, I think you're an abusive bastard but that's alright! The weather is wonderful after all!”_

“ _Fabulous, now let us skip to the sunset!”_

“ _Ok!”_

Why was the sun setting in the middle of an afternoon, Ryou did not know.

 

xxx

 

Oh god, they were both staring at him! Ryou could swear, even when he hadn't turned to look, the two walking behind him had their gazes on his back. He could feel their eyes on him and it was making him feel nervous.

“S-so, Yuugi... Mariku, I never got to know why you decided to drop by,” Ryou spoke over his shoulder, attempting to start a conversation so this wouldn't be so awkward.

“Your phone was turned off,” Mariku replied.

“Mm, I couldn't reach you so I wanted to make sure everything was fine.”

“You were both worried about me?” Just a few months ago no one, except for his father, could have cared less if something happened to him and now worried people swarmed around him! Ok, “swarm” wasn't the right word but it seemed that nowadays all he had to do was sneeze and there would be someone worried about his wellbeing.

“I thought you were going to call your father. That's a bit difficult when your phone isn't on.”

Oh, that...

Ryou tried to give Mariku a reassuring smile. “I'm... working on it, really. I'm going to call him, just not... right now...” The other narrowed his eyes and Ryou's smile died. “Look... I'll take care of it.”

“By avoiding it?” Mariku asked sharply but Ryou was saved from snapping back at him by Yuugi who also piped in.

“...What are you guys talking about?”

“None of your concern.”

“Mariku, please don't be so rude.” Ryou offered Yuugi a small apologetic smile. “My father doesn't... I mean he does but he was kind of upset and worried about us,” he gestured to Mariku and him, “so I need to work it out with him.”

“You mean he didn't know?”

“Um, yes. I just told him yesterday...”

“Oh...”

Their walk to the nearest grocery store was coming to an end as the store came to view. It was small but it would have everything he needed. Ryou dug out his shopping list and looked it through. It was sort of a lot but Ryou ate much for someone of his body type.

His companions also checked his list and after entering went to opposite directions to find the stuff, leaving Ryou standing there, wondering who he should follow. He couldn't risk them running into each other without him there anymore. God knows what happened the last time; Yuugi seemed so on his toes.

Ryou looked to both directions. His friend or the person he was pretty much in love with? Wait... Ryou frowned. “Pretty much in love with”?

He discovered that when it came down to it, the decision wasn't so difficult after all.

“Mariku, wait up!”

xxx

 

As they stepped out of the store, Ryou turned to Yuugi with a slight smile. “I think we need to talk sometime. Do you mind if we meet up during the week? It's really important.”

“Um, sure, I guess...” Yuugi told, not looking at Ryou, sending nervous looks at Mariku instead. Ryou took notice of this, frowning.

“Alright... I'll call you,” Ryou said, directing his words to Yuugi but keeping an eye on Mariku. “Mariku, want to walk me home?” he asked and got a nod.

“Well, I better go now... Bye.” Yuugi waved and got going, Ryou waving back at him before turning to Mariku.

“Shall we?”

“I need to get my motorcycle, anyway.” Mariku told when they started walking. “I can carry some of those,” he gestured towards the the grocery bags Ryou was carrying.

“No, it's fine, really. I can manage on my own.” Ryou didn't feel like he needed help. The three bags weren't that heavy and he had carried more in his life time.

Mariku snorted. “Of course you can, you just don't have to. Now, give me some of those.”

“No, I'm fine. I can do this on my own. My house isn't even that far,” Ryou insisted. “See? These are not heavy or anything.”

“Why don't you let me help you?” Mariku was starting to sound annoyed. “They're just grocery bags, Ryou. It's not like I'm offering to financially support you for the rest of your life.”

Ryou sighed, shaking his head. “I don't need your help with this. I've carried a lot more and heavier bags before and I've always made it home without much trouble.” Though, sometimes he had wished that he would have someone to help him. Somehow, this wasn't purely about the groceries any more. It was true that he had made it through all the trouble in his life on his own because he-

“Only because you had to,” Mariku interrupted his line of thought and forcefully grabbed two of the bags, leaving Ryou with only one.

“Mariku, really-”

“Stop making a big deal out of this.”

Ryou stopped his protest short and succumbed to his fate of being helped with something. Maybe it would be ok to let the other help this once. They settled to walk in silence until Ryou remember why had he wanted to walk home with Mariku in the first place. Well, besides the fact that he liked being in his company.

“Mariku?”

“Yes?”

“What did you and Yuugi talk about earlier?” Ryou asked carefully, keeping an eye out for a reaction and worried that his suspicions would be proved right.

“Some important matters.”

“'Important matters'?” A frown twisted his face, “You told him to leave me alone, didn't you?”

A moment of silence. “Yes.”

“You threatened him.” It was meant as a question but came out as a statement, Ryou just couldn't help it. He was hurt and disappointed though he knew he should have seen it coming.

“I did.”

Ryou stopped. “Why did you go and do that? I was trying to work this out and you just,” he couldn't go on and let his sentence trail off. Mariku stopped too and turned to face him, his face unreadable but eyes burning.

“Because I don't like him near you and I'm tired of hearing you go on about how Yuugi has the right to know everything and I'm _sick_ of Yuugi being the first call when _I_ should be the one you run to.”

“But he's my friend!” Ryou cried, like that explained everything.

“And I'm just your fucking boyfriend,” Mariku spat with venom. “Or am I just a part of your horror fetish?”

The bag Ryou was holding dropped, part of the contents spreading on the side walk. “No, Mariku...” He felt so numb when all the other emotions gave away to hurt and anger. How could Mariku think so lowly of him? He wasn't one to toy with people like that, for his own amusement, and Mariku should know that by now. He should know him better than that by now.

“How can you even say that?” Ryou shouted. “How can you when I care about you so much?! Even when you pull stuff like you did with Yuugi! I bet you threatened his friends too, you- you asshole!” Ryou didn't even care that they were in the middle of the street where people could hear them and see them. The fact that Mariku didn't even seem faced by his outburst worked to anger him even more. He was probably right about him threatening Yuugi's friends, too. He grabbed a random food object and hurled it at Mariku who dodged easily thanks to his crappy aim.

“I'm right, aren't I?!” he threw some more while screaming, his vision blurry, completely losing it. This was all just too much for him. “I wish I didn't care about you so much! You sick bastard!” he picked up a can but Mariku moved forward to grab his wrists, making him drop it. It felt like his wrist would just snap and break any time now. “Let go of me!” he struggled against the iron grip, eyes starting to tear up, not from the physical pain as he hardly felt it, but from all else going through him. “Let go of me right now Mariku! I wish we had never met!” he yelled through his tears, choking and sobbing. “Why didn't you just kill me and get it over with?!” Ryou's voice was getting weaker, throat sore and not used of yelling so much. He had never been this loud during his entire life, but then again, he never had the reason to be.

“Ryou...” If the boy hadn't been so wrapped up in his own emotional turmoil, he would have seen a certain amount of sympathy in Mariku's eyes, a softer shade of purple, something that was rare.

Ryou gave in, not fighting to free his arms anymore, bowing his head and sinking on his feet, knees feeling weak. “I wish... I wish I didn't love you... You make me feel miserable.” After all the yelling, the silent confession was almost inaudible.

Mariku let go and Ryou sank to his knees, not daring to look up. Never before had he lost it so. Had he said too much? Even after saying all those things, meaning some more than others, he was afraid of rejection. Any moment now Mariku would laugh at him and spit on him, telling him just how foolish it he was, how stupid it was to fall in love.

“Ryou look at me,” came Mariku's level and commanding voice. Ryou didn't find the will to look up, drained by his outburst, and kept his head bowed, gazing into nothingness. He felt a firm grip on his chin and his head was forced up. “Look. At. Me.”

For the fist time since the beginning of his outburst their eyes met as Ryou didn't have much choice, the hold on his chin almost bruising.

“Do you really love me?”

Ryou noticed that there was something aching to hope behind all the ice and moved to nod but couldn't move his head enough to. “...Yes.” The boy whispered and there was a flicker of something in the other's eye but it was gone as quickly as it came so it might as well been in his imagination.

Mariku let go, turning his head away and gazing into the distance. “That's... That's very stupid of you, Ryou.” His voice shook, something Ryou never heard, but he wasn't angry or disgusted.

“Why?”

“Because I'm unable to love you back.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

“ _Because I'm unable to love you back.”_

Ryou stared numbly at Mariku, still knelt on the side walk, having difficulty to process the information. Mariku was facing away from him and hadn't said a word after the shocking revelation. Ryou reached his hand out to touch the other's, the tips of his fingers skimmed over the tan skin and Mariku flinched, turning his sharp eyes to Ryou.

“You can't..?” was all that came out of his mouth even though he wanted to say so much more. There was something wrong with him, he knew it! Why else couldn't he be loved? He felt the small amount of self worth slip away. The first person he had ever loved didn't love him back. He felt like crying all over again.

“Ryou...” Mariku knelt down opposite to him. “It's not that I don't want to...” he stroked Ryou's cheek gently and the boy leaned into the touch.

“You mean to say that you can't... don't know how to...” A spark of hope lit inside Ryou. All hope was not lost yet. “But if you could...” His question was cut short when Mariku got up sharply, turning away.

“Listen... I should leave. Neither of us is in the right state of mind to be talking about this.”

“No, don't go, I-” The light was dimming again.

Mariku looked at him over his shoulder but his eyes showed absolutely nothing Ryou could grasp and find new hope in, they were emotionless and hollow. “No, you need to pull yourself together first, then we'll talk. I promise.”

Ryou looked down on the fallen groceries scattered on the street, his shoulders slumped. “Fine... whatever you say,” he muttered and got up, dusting his jeans before bending to gather the groceries laying on the asphalt. He gave Mariku a quick glance, slightly hostile but not quite managing a full out glare. “I thought you were leaving.”

“Ryou...”

“Don't 'Ryou' me, Mariku. Just go before I start throwing stuff at you again.” In any other circumstances he might have said it as a joke but there was nothing to joke about now and his voice was grave. Done collecting his groceries and putting them back in the bags, Ryou stood up, just in time to see Mariku nod and turn away. Ryou sighed and whipped his eyes stubbornly on his sleeve. He would not cry over this.

He picked up the bags and began his walk home. For some reason the bags felt much heavier than before and by the time he reached his door step, his arms ached. He dug out his keys and opened the door, picking up the bags again and dragging them into the kitchen, starting to put them away. Normally, he would have been happy to have food in the house again but now it didn't seem to matter. He wasn't hungry anyway.

But it was perfectly normal to have fights, right? And it wasn't the first time either, though this was the worst. The tension for this one had been building up for a while and it had been inevitable with how their personalities clashed despite how well they got along. It had seemed that he had found someone to balance him out and who he could balance out in turn. The kind of thing he had heard about but never thought possible.

Ryou sat on the couch with a sigh, eyes spying his cell phone he had apparently left home when he had gone grocery shopping. He picked it up and dialed a number, deciding it was about time they talked. He had to wait for a while before someone picked up.

“Hi dad...”

 

xxx

 

A day had passed since Ryou blew up on his face and now when Mariku had had time to think it through, he was starting to realize how badly he had handled it. It was no secret that he was no genius when it came to people but he had really screwed up this time.

“God, I'm such an idiot.” Now he talked to himself too? _Great_. He leaned his head against the cool surface of the fridge, having second thoughts about eating. It wasn't that bad though; Ryou talked to himself too, he had mentioned it once or twice during their phone conversations. Then again, the boy was nuts. So was he. What a perfect couple they made.

Still, he could have done better. He could have stayed and carried the damn grocery bags for Ryou, or something.

“ _I wish I didn't love you... You make me feel miserable.”_

That's right. Ryou had all the right to wish his love away. Some part of him wished that Ryou would somehow succeed and just... not love him anymore. It had freaked him out a bit.

Dwelling on his, or someone else's, mistakes was getting him nowhere fast so Mariku decided not to think about it now. Something that happened at work last week popped into his head...

_Mariku was sitting on a barstool, resting his feet after escorting some troublemakers out, keeping an eye on the customers. They had just recently hired a new bartender, a blond woman with an attitude to go with her looks. No one knew what happened to the last bartender, and no one cared for that matter._

“ _You got this place in quite good order, young man,” commented the new woman out of the blue. Mariku spared her a glance but didn't bother to answer. She wasn't faced by that though. “It's so much calmer here nowadays, almost safe.” The woman laughed a bit, turning to Mariku again. “Not much of a talker, are you?”_

_I'm just not in the mood to chat.”_

“ _Oh I see. Tired? It must take its toll to work on the night sift, especially for someone so young as yourself. How old are you anyway?”_

“ _No, not tired, I don't sleep much anyway and if you must know, I'm nineteen.” Mariku's annoyance level_ _was going up fast. He had already told that he didn't want to chat. “Look lady, I'm not here to socialize with you so if you just let me do my job...”_

“ _Alright, alright, sorry.” She raised up her hands in mock surrender. “But listen kid, don't come to work on Monday, ok?”_

“ _Not planning to; I have Mondays off.”_

_The lady nodded in approval. “Good. I won't bother you then.”_

That had been weird. Mariku had thought that he would spend the day with Ryou but now that wasn't happening. What to do? He couldn't stay cooped up in his apartment, he would surely go nuts. Well, more nuts anyway. It was a small miracle that they hadn't locked him up yet. It had been close once or twice when he had still lived at home, but now that he was on his own, no one cared anymore.

Mariku grabbed his keys and jacket, heading out and making sure to lock the door as he didn't want someone to rob the little he had. He decided to save gas and walk instead, with no real destination in mind. He would let Ryou contact him first, as the other had been more upset, or that's what he liked to think.

 

xxx

 

Ryou was just out of his math classroom, the final class of the day. He had only stared at his empty worksheet the teacher had handed out for them at the beginning of the class, not understanding the questions. Even though he had somewhat settled things with his father, he still had people, or a person, he hadn't worked things out with. It was disturbing his school work and that was only the smallest issue.

It had taken about two hours to explain everything to his father, get him to calm down and to talk it through. He had assured his father that there was no need to come home early and that everything was alright, though that was a lie. Everything was not alright; it was as far from alright as possible. Ryou sighed, glaring at his homework and hitting his head on the desk, which didn't help matters any and only managed to give him a headache.

It would be for the best if he could talk to Mariku face to face. The only problem was that he didn't exactly know where the other lived. He had only been there once and they had driven there so he just had vague memories of places they passed and where they went. He would have to call... they would meet up somewhere and...

Ryou sighed again and closed his textbook. Maybe that could wait another day as he had no idea how he would react coming face to face with Mariku after so little time since their fight.

But hey, Ryou perked up just a little, he could go see Yuugi and stall for time that way! He couldn't possibly meet up with both at the same time if he wanted both to live. Mariku might have told Yuugi to stay away from him but he hadn't told Ryou to not go to Yuugi.

 

xxx

 

“Yuugi!”

The vertically challenged boy turned to see who was calling out to him. “Oh, Ryou, hello.”

“Hi,” Ryou caught up with the other, smiling and panting a bit. “I was looking for you and your grandfather told me you'd be here.”

“Looking for me?” Yuugi echoed. “Right, well, why don't we stay here and you can keep me company?”

“Sure, that's why I'm here.”

“But...” Yuugi hesitated. “Won't it make your boyfriend angry?”

Ryou just waved it off as if nothing. “Nah, or it will but he can't decide what I do or who I hang out with. He told you to stay away from me, not the other way around, remember?”

Yuugi gave a small nod and they went inside the arcade. Ryou had just missed Yuugi who had already left when he arrived at his friend's house. Luckily Yuugi's grandfather had been there and had told Ryou to head for the arcade. He had ran to catch up and for the exercise; he had been a bit lazy recently and with lots of other things in his mind.

“Are your friends coming too?” Ryou asked when they reached the games and looked around to find one they liked.

“Would you like them to? I haven't invited them yet but if you'd like...”

“No, that's alright. Unless you want them here, that is.”

Yuugi shook his head with a smile and pointed at a game. “Lets just play.”

They went to the one Yuugi had suggested.

“So, how are things?” Yuugi asked and shot a zombie.

Ryou opened his mouth to say that things were good, as always, but stopped himself and just told the truth. “Mariku and I got into a fight.” Bang, one generic zombie more dead.

Yuugi missed. “Oh... What about?”

“Things.” Ryou put his green plastic gun down. “Just about... stuff... About how he told you to stay away and... I threw groceries at him...”

“You did?” Game Over. “Have you talked to him?”

Ryou shook his head. “No, I haven't. It was only yesterday, I wouldn't know what to say.”

“But you're going to, right?”

“Of course, just not yet...”

“Good. Want to play Flipper?”

“Sure.” Ryou was grateful that his friend changed the subject. He hadn't come here to talk about it, or think about it; he would have plenty of time to do that later, when he was alone. Now, he just wanted to have fun and he would. Flipper was fun, right? Yes, he was having a blast with his _best_ friend... while knowing that he was yet to make up with the person he loved, but who didn't love him back. Fun.

“Yuugi, this isn't working.” Ryou backed away from the machine. “I think I should go.”

Yuugi ignored the small ball and let it fall to its doom. “I understand. Go do what you must.”

“I'm not sure what that is though... but thank you, Yuugi.”

Yuugi smiled. “What are friends for.”

Ryou grinned back and left the arcade. Where he was going, he did not know, but leaving made things so much more clear. It was no use avoiding the subject, he needed to figure out a way to solve it. He didn't know what he would do if they couldn't make up, what would he do without the other. Walking helped him think so he settled to walk with no real destination.

Ryou had ended up at the harbor. It's been a while since he had last been there... He walked near the spot close to the sea and knelt down, suddenly feeling tired. Maybe he should have gone home after all. He didn't feel like going though, he would just be alone in the empty house if he did. He stood up again, facing the sea, and sighed.

“Mom... what should I do?”

“You could stop talking to yourself, it's a sign of madness, you know.”

Ryou snapped his head around, eyes wide. “Mariku...”

 

 

xxx

 

How is it that every time you need to find something to take your mind off things, absolutely nothing happens? Domino was such a boring city during the day time. Where was he anyway?

Mariku looked around, actually paying attention to where he was. He was near a cross road; if he took the way down, to the right, he would end up at the harbor, if up and left, the center. The later seemed more appealing to him but he also had this strange feeling about the harbor, like it was calling to him. Mariku glared at the way down but took it anyway. This had better be good.

Nothing out of the ordinary was down at the harbor when he got there. The sea was glittering in the faint sun light peeking from behind a cloud, and people were out and about, doing whatever it was that they did. Some were enjoying the outside life with a dear one, some were doing their job, cleaning or sifting cargo around, a couple were working at an ice-cream stand. Why were they doing that was beyond him though, seeing how the weather was getting colder and hardly anyone bought ice-cream anymore.

He scanned the seaside, pocketing his hands and slowing down to a leisurely pace. Something in the corner of his eye distracted him for a second and made him turn his head to a side, where he spotted a familiar figure that made his cool exterior crack and made him consider leaving. What was he doing here? The coincidence was so absurd that it almost made him laugh out loud. Someone really hated him up there, or loved, whichever.

He had already admitted to himself that he had fucked up, and now there was a chance to make it better, or at least try to. He wasn't at all confident with his skills when it came to handling something like this, something so emotional. It would require that he apologized and he never did that. His feet had taken him closer however and it was already getting too late to turn back. He heard Ryou mumble something to himself and rolled his eyes, amused.

“You should stop talking to yourself, it's a sign of madness, you know.” And there he went, there was no turning back now. The boy's head turned around so fast he could swear that it could snap his neck and soon he found wide eyes staring at his. And now he had startled the other, what a wonderful start.

“Mariku...”

His name always did sound so much better when whispered by those lips.

“Hi.”

“W-what are you doing here?”

Mariku shrugged. “Not sure. You?”

“Same.” Ryou faced the sea again and gave them both time to recollect their thoughts.

“I'm sorry,” Mariku said suddenly and Ryou gave him his full attention, looking at him like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I handled it very badly.”

“Oh... Yes, you did, but I also-”

“You had the right to be angry, I shouldn't have questioned your motives, that was stupid of me.” Of course he wouldn't think of him anything less than human, this was Ryou he was talking about!

“Hm, you should've known better, but I also overreacted... and I shouldn't have told you...”

“That you loved me?”

Ryou nodded. “Yes, it was a bad time, I can understand your reaction.”

“Ryou,” Mariku started but his throat felt so tight and yet it felt important that he be open with this matter. “About your question... Yes, if I could love, it would be you.”

“You... are not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?” Ryou asked, making Mariku angry that he would think that when he was being honest and open.

“If I wanted to do that, I would've told you I loved you,” he snapped more angrily than he had meant to and Ryou faced down, bitting his lip.

“I guess... It's better that you were honest though, I appreciate that.”

“Do you really?” Mariku tilted his head. “So you're rather miserable knowing the truth than happy believing that you're loved? Interesting... Are you sure you're not a masochist?”

“I, well... I just wouldn't want to be living a lie.” Ryou glanced up at him, shy. “And I was sort of hoping... that I could show how to... sort of teach you to, um... love.” He blushed and hid his face in his bangs. “I guess that's kind of silly...”

“That's not silly, it's sweet.” Mariku couldn't help but smirk. That was so... _cute_ , naïve but still cute. His sweet Ryou, he would never let him go. Gods, he was getting so... mushy.

“It's not... it's stupid. I don't even know if that's possible.” Ryou's blush was fading. He had such a horrible case of poor self esteem.

“Stop putting yourself down and lets get out of here.” Mariku didn't like this place anymore, he wanted to go somewhere with less people. “Are you hungry?”

Ryou's stomach grumbled. “Yeah... a bit.”

“Good.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

It was a surprisingly nice little place near the harbor. Ryou had never been there before, but then again, he hardly ever ate out because that was no fun by himself. Under any other circumstances Ryou would have been happy to get out and spend time with Mariku like this but their recent fight still loomed over him like a rain cloud, dampening his mood, making the whole scene seem awkward and forced. Of course, he could have just gone home and told Mariku to forget it, speak with him some other time when the fight wouldn’t be so fresh in their memory. Ryou knew it was natural to have disagreements; friends fought, couples fought and views clashed whenever there was more than one person on the scene. It did bother him that he should have seen all those things they had fought over coming. Mariku had threatened Yuugi before, just not to his face, and came across somewhat heartless so none of that should have surprised him. Maybe Ryou had hoped that things would turn out different, better, and Yuugi could have been left alone and Mariku would love him, instead of making him go through a small scale mental breakdown.

Ryou sighed and peeked over his menu only to see Mariku do the exact same thing at the same time. Neither had said anything since they left the harbor but the silence hadn’t bothered him, not knowing what to say anyway, until now. Now the unsaid things came down on him full force and he wanted to look away, go back to the easy silence, only to find that he couldn’t. The eyes held him captive in a way he had almost managed to forget they could do. He felt his heart racing and breath catch in his throat, and he knew there was no way he could get out of the range of Mariku's snare. He was no longer the keeper of his own heart.

A waitress came to their table to take their orders, wearing a typical waitress smile. Ryou then realized that he hadn’t even read through his menu, too deep in thought and had no idea what he wanted. Mariku took it up to himself to order for them both and Ryou found that he didn’t mind, though he would have under different circumstances.

The waitress left and Ryou almost hoped she would have stayed even a while longer so he wouldn’t have to be alone with Mariku. He shouldn’t have come. What had he been thinking? Nothing, apparently. He was such a fool to think they could work this out after so little time has passed since their fight. How stupid of him. Maybe this would never work and they were both just wasting valuable time. Maybe they would soon realize that this was only making them miserable and it would become one of those things you regretted ever doing when you were old.

Though how could it be wrong? Ryou remembered being far happier during these past few weeks than he had been in such a long time. He loved Mariku, despite all of his flaws; no, _because_ of his flaws. This just had to work out somehow. If it didn’t, it would make him much more miserable than anything Mariku could ever say or do. He would make it work but he couldn’t do it alone, and for once he had to admit that he needed someone else’s help.

Ryou raised his eyes up from the table they had been fixed on after the waitress had left and directed an unsure smile to Mariku who was still watching him. “We will make this work, won’t we?” he asked in a small voice, nervous and horribly self-conscious. Mariku smirked back at him but there was a softer quality to it, something that made Ryou’s love struck heart leap and made the other look so much more handsome to him.

“Of course we will.”

 

xxx

The night rolled around and it was time for Mariku to head for work. He wasn’t looking forward to it but it was better than nothing and paid well. The streets were quiet apart from some bums and young punks who thought they were something just because they could spit and curse. He normally walked to work and these people had become nearly invisible to him as long as they didn’t bother him, which they seemed to actively avoid doing.

He got lost in his thoughts, feet taking him where he needed to be, wondering about all the things that had been going on in his life lately, occasionally scraping subjects like how he had decided to move out of his little apartment as soon as possible, maybe to a better neighborhood. Ryou popped up at some point, and how could he not with all the uneasiness during their late lunch, early dinner. It would work out even if only because nothing else ever did. This would be the exception to the rule and Ryou shouldn’t doubt it either. Mariku might not love him now, perhaps not ever, but that didn’t mean he didn’t _care_.

There was something off with the small pub when he finally got there. It wasn’t difficult to notice what; a black and yellow police tape was over the door. The door was slightly open and he peeked inside.

“You shouldn’t be hanging around a crime scene, kid,” a female voice spoke somewhere from inside and the woman who had worked in the place for the past week came to view.

“What happened here?” He let the woman out, taking a few steps back. It was painfully obvious what had happened; the place probably hadn’t been all that legal.

“Illegal activity,” she told shortly and brushed off her skirt. “You worked here as a bouncer, right? I might have to bring you down town for questioning.”

“You might.” Mariku eyed the place as he spoke, thinking what he should do now; one job shorter. “I didn’t know, though.” And if he had, he most likely wouldn’t have cared.

“I know you didn’t, but you should come anyway.” The woman shrugged then seemed to remember something. “Hey, you probably need a new job now, no?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I have a number you could call if you want it.”

Mariku raised an eyebrow, taking the cardboard slip offered to him. “What’s the catch?” And what kind of job was it; the cardboard refused to tell him that.

She laughed and waved his question off. “No catch. Well, you will have to come with me to the station peacefully; I wouldn’t want to fight you.” She grinned.

xxx

Ryou was lying on his bed, reading a book. It wasn’t a school book this time, but a brick sized horror novel he had wanted to read for a while now. It took his mind off of things, which was just what he wanted. No character reminded him of Mariku or- And there he went again, thinking about him. Now the illusion was broken and a frown adored his face as he lifted his eyes from the book and sighed. This wasn’t working, the not thinking.

The clock ticked on his wall, the sound now disturbingly loud. What time was it? Ryou blinked, another thought forming in his brain. What day was it? He jumped up and scrambled to his calendar to check the date, eyes widening. Oh how could have it slipped his mind? Today was the day he always visited his mother’s and sister’s graves every year and his father was never with him. Yuugi had text messaged him earlier and asked if he was interested in hanging out with them, and he had considered replaying with a yes but now he obviously wouldn’t.

It wasn’t late yet so he wouldn’t have to get going for a few hours so maybe he could… Ryou bit his lip. He didn’t want to go alone again. Would there be a chance that Mariku could come with him? Would he want to? Ryou glanced at his cell phone lying on the bed and thought of calling him. Perhaps he should pay him a visit instead. He wasn’t entirely sure if he knew the way to where Mariku lived or if he wanted to walk it, but it would be better to ask face to face and that way he would get to see him, too. Why he wanted to, after how awkward it had been that day in the small restaurant, was beyond him, but just seeing Mariku would be ok. It wasn’t like they would have to get all affectionate and he wasn’t sure how comfortable he would be with that right now.

Decision made, Ryou put something warmer on, grabbed something to eat on the way and walked out the door, hoping that his sense of direction wouldn’t let him down now.

xxx

Sometime later that week Ryou appeared on his doorstep. It was late afternoon and he had just been moping around his apartment, doing nothing in particular. It was a pleasant surprise, though he had no idea how Ryou had found his way there. The boy looked unsure and awkward, like he wasn’t sure if he should be there at all. Of course, he was always welcomed, except if it was early in the morning or Mariku wasn’t there.

“Hi… Is this a bad time?” Ryou greeted, perhaps thinking that Mariku’s silence after opening the door was a bad sign.

“No, not at all. Come in.” Mariku stepped aside to let the other in. “What brings you here?”

“Ah, well… I just wanted to see you.” Ryou sat on the edge of the couch and smiled up at Mariku but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. The fight was still eating at him, it seemed. Mariku was distantly angered by this but decided to stay patient. It would be a huge setback to display any anger now.

“And, um… actually I was sort of hoping that you could come with me somewhere… tonight.”

Mariku raised a brow in question. “Where to? Or is it a secret?”

Ryou blushed faint pink, averting his eyes. “No… It’s something I do every year… alone because my father never wants to come with me.” He looked up, hopeful again. “So will you?”

It wasn’t a question of whether or not he would go; of course he wouldn’t let Ryou go alone if he wanted him to come with him. “You keep forgetting to mention where we are going.”

“Oh… To the cemetery. I can understand if you don’t want to.”

“I want to. But why are we going there at night?”

Ryou smiled a bit, getting up. “Because it’s more exciting that way.” He came up to Mariku and placed a kiss on his lips. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Mariku breathed and captured the smaller male again for a deeper kiss. Ryou let out a surprised sound but relaxed soon, taking a hold of the front of Mariku’s shirt. Gods, he had missed this…

After a while, Ryou pulled away, or more like pushed the other off. Mariku watched in puzzlement as Ryou blushed and looked away. He was acting so strangely…

“What?”

“It’s nothing…” That fake smile spread on his face and Mariku absolutely hated it. He wanted Ryou to smile for real, because he was happy and not because he felt obligated to.

“Stop that.”

“What?” Ryou blinked but at least the smile was erased by Mariku’s tone.

“That. Stop smiling like that when you don’t mean it.”

“Oh… sorry…”

“Don’t apologize, just stop.” Mariku felt bad for snapping and tried to redeem himself by pulling the other close and kissing his forehead. Great, he was turning into a sap.

Ryou felt so tense in his arms and just let himself be held. Mariku sighed and started to run his hand up and down Ryou’s spine in what he hoped to be a soothing motion. “You’re so tense, Ryou, relax.” Mariku whispered against his ear and enjoyed the slight shiver. He felt Ryou nod and wrap his arms around his waist loosely and bury his head on his shoulder, taking a deep breath. “That’s it.”

Ryou just nodded and sighed, but it wasn’t a distressed one. “This is nice.” Mariku said nothing and apparently Ryou took this as a sign to continue. “My father hardly ever hugs me or anything. Mom used to hold me, always, and read stories to Amane and me. She was good at making me feel better…”

“M-hm.” Mariku acknowledged and then decided to continue, “My mother died when I was very young so I don’t really remember her.” Ryou tensed before relaxing again and Mariku knew he had his attention. “My father might as well be dead.”

“You… you’re in bad terms with him?” Ryou asked carefully, as if not sure if it was his place to ask but curiosity won over the uncertainty.

“You could say that.”

“That’s sad…”

“Humph.” He didn’t really think so. “It’s for the better.”

Neither said anything after that, just enjoying each other’s presence. Ryou’s breathing got deeper and he leaned more heavily on Mariku, who smirked.

“Are you asleep?”

“…no…”

“Sure you weren’t.”

Ryou huffed. “Well, it’s your fault with your petting and warm body.” Mariku laughed and got swapped on the arm for it.

 

xxx

 

The sun was beginning to set when they arrived to the rusted gates of the cemetery. The metal screeched and protested against being opened, quite comfortable shut, but gave away when two pairs of hands, one pale and other tan, first pushed and then tried pulling, which did the trick. Ryou noted that the gates were getting worse every year and wondered why no one did anything about it.

It was a western style cemetery with gray stones and Christian symbols like crosses and angels strewn around for the sake of religion. For some reason, it seemed to be the only cemetery in Domino and if one didn’t want a Christian funeral, he or she would have to go die some place else. It was a bit unfair but hadn’t bothered his mother or sister whose names were carved in the stones before them.

Ryou split the flower bouquet he had in two and knelt down on the already fallen leaves to place the flowers onto the graves. He stood back up before the knee of his worn jeans could get soaked and took Mariku’s hand, giving it a squeeze.

A cold breeze blew their hair around and made him shiver in his sweater but he took comfort in the warm hand in his that was wonderfully solid and real. Though, it would have been nice to have a coat.

“This place looks much better when all the trees get their autumn colors,” he said just for the sake of saying something; they hadn’t spoken much during the time they had spent together and he really wanted to talk about something, anything. “But it’s never pretty when I come here, for some reason.” He tried to laugh but it died in his throat and was reincarnated as a sob. Ryou dried his eyes on his sleeve swiftly; he would not cry.

“You can cry if you want,” Mariku said, voice silent but some-what stern. Ryou smiled up at him.

“Big boys don’t cry, Mariku.” His voice was teary as he met the other’s eyes.

“You don’t look that big to me.” Mariku smirked a little, teasing, and Ryou attempted to push him with his side but didn’t find the strength to even nudge him with his shoulder and leaned on him instead. He rested his head on the other’s shoulder, not feeling like crying anymore.

“Thank you,” Ryou whispered eyes still on the graves.

“For what?”

“For coming and for being there, among other things.”

“My pleasure.” Mariku held Ryou's hand tighter and looked up at the darkening sky. “It’s going to be dark soon.”

“That’s ok, we have flashlights. And besides,” Ryou directed a crooked smile at Mariku, hints of excitement shining in his eyes. “I heard this place is haunted.”

Mariku rolled his eyes. “I should’ve known… You want to ghost hunt? Don’t you come here every year?”

“Yeah, but at the end of last year, that guy they were talking about in the news, you know the one who was cut into pieces, was buried here and now haunts this place.” Ryou grinned widely. “They never found his head.”

“Damn, Ryou. That’s probably just something they tell little kids to get them to behave.”

Ryou’s grin turned into a pout. “Oh, you ruin my fun.”

“You think walking around a cemetery, where someone is buried without a head, in the dark, is fun?”

Ryou nodded happily. “It’s like early birthday for me. Come on, Mariku, please?” He gave his most pleading look. “I want to know if this guy is really in the search of his missing head.”

Mariku visibly gave up, sighing and shoulders slumping. “Fine.”

“Yay, I love you!” Ryou jumped to hug Mariku and kiss his cheek before he realized what he had just said. “Uh, I mean…” He let go and coughed awkwardly. “Let’s just wait until it gets dark and start looking.”

“…yeah.”

xxx

 

Darkness settled over the cemetery and they dug out their flashlights. Ryou was humming and smiling happily. He had never done anything like this before. He had wanted to but his father, when he was home, had always been reluctant to let him out after dark alone and Ryou hadn’t had any friends until recently.

“If there’s no ghost here, we can always tell ghost stories in the flashlight light.” Ryou pointed the flashlight up towards his face and it cast an eerie shadow over it.

“You know, that almost makes you look scary. Are you sure you’re not the ghost?” Mariku asked with a smirk and Ryou poked his tongue out at him.

“Do I look like I’m missing my head?” His mostly rhetorical question was ignored.

“Come closer to poke that tongue out at me and I’ll show you what it’s really for.”

Ryou opened his mouth to say something, a remark or some kind of comeback, but nothing came out so he just closed it again not to give Mariku more ideas for lewd comments. Mariku chuckled and came to kiss Ryou’s nose.

“You’re such a cute little ghost. But we should start looking if we want to get out of here tonight.”

Ryou wrinkled up his nose and shooed the affectionate other away. “Yeah, let’s go.” They headed for the man’s grave first to see if anything interesting was happening there. The grave, however, looked just like any other and it didn’t seem like anyone was rising from it soon, much less haunting it.

“Maybe the ghost only shows up at midnight,” Ryou suggested, disappointment showing on his face.

“No self respecting ghost would ever do something that clichéd.”

“Well, it’s only two hours from now; we can look around in the meanwhile.”

Mariku let out an annoyed sigh. “Why are you so persistent about this? It’s likely that there’s no ghost and we’re just wasting our time.”

Ryou bit his lip and looked at Mariku from under his bangs. “Because I’ve always wanted to try something like this but… I just never had the chance…” He looked Mariku straight in the eye, fighting the urge to shy away. “…or someone to do it with.”

They stood there in silence as Ryou searched for any indication that he would get his way. He wouldn’t hold it against Mariku if he didn’t but he would still feel disappointed.

“Alright, we can stay until midnight but if there’s no ghost, we’re leaving.”

Ryou beamed almost brightly enough not to need a flashlight. “Thanks, Mariku, you’re the best! Next time you can decide what we do and I’ll just go along with it.”

Mariku smirked and something hidden in those eyes told Ryou that maybe it wasn’t the greatest idea to make promises like that. “Deal.”

Ryou shivered a bit and told himself that it was only because the night was cold.

They started wandering around, reading the gravestones and exchanging a few words here and there. Ryou wasn’t sure what else they could do for the remaining time but there had to be something. They were in a cemetery in the middle of the night! There was bound to be something.

Then, right on cue, there were rustling sounds coming from the bushes they were passing. They directed their lights towards the sound but saw nothing. Ryou jumped at the chance to go see what was causing the noise and dived into the bush, not even noticing that Mariku wasn’t following him.

Ryou soon discovered that it was nothing as a crow flew out of the bush noisily. “It was nothing after all.” When there was no reply or acknowledgement, he noted that Mariku was nowhere in sight. He came out of the bush to look around but saw no one.

“Mariku?” He didn’t get too worried when there was no answer; he would find Mariku, they had just gotten separated. Ryou had emerged from a different part of the bush and Mariku just hadn’t been able to follow him. “That has got to be it,” Ryou concluded, his attention drawn to a distant stone building. It looked like a mausoleum and he carefully approached, now feeling a different kind of anxiousness when he was all alone.

The building looked old and the walls had moss growing on them, giving it an abandoned look. Ryou touched the cool, damp surface in fascination, a small smile playing on his lips as he wondered who could be buried there. Maybe someone important. He didn’t have a particular fascination with death, at least he didn’t think so, but there was something mysterious about it that managed to intrigue him and repel him at the same time.

A cold gust of wind flew past, making him shiver and hug himself, rubbing his upper arms. Ryou decided that it would be best to go look for Mariku now and began walking to a random direction, away from the mausoleum.

Something cracked just behind him but before he could turn around and see what it was, a larger body tackled his and a pair of arms wrapped around him, one clapping over his mouth and other around his arms and waist, preventing him from hitting his attacker.

Ryou’s heart jumped to his throat and the hand muffled his startled yell.

“Hush, my little ghost.” A warm mouth pressed against his ear, the whisper instantly ending his struggle. He knew that voice. The hand over his mouth went to his waist, allowing him to yell.

“Mariku, you… you scared me!”

“That was sort of the point.” Mariku buried his face on Ryou’s neck and playfully nipped the tender flesh. “Mm, I’m going to drink your blood.”

Ryou giggle and immediately felt stupid doing so; it made him sound like such a girl. “Stop it; that tickles!” But his giggles soon turned into moans as the playfulness left the nips.

“On second thought, forget your blood; I’m just going to eat you up.”

Ryou tilted his head, his knees feeling so weak but he had nothing to hold on to as his arms were still trapped against his sides, and his heart was still beating a mile a minute but for entirely different reasons. He didn’t mind being trapped in Mariku’s arms like this or scared once in a while; it gave him a rush that was hard to ignore.

The arms holding him loosened, letting him turn or get away if he so choose but there was no point with Mariku’s tongue giving delicious attention to his ear and hand caressing his stomach under his shirt, touch gentle but firm enough not to tickle. Ryou didn’t mind this either, enjoying being touched, body extraordinary responsive and-

“Flashlight tag! You’re it!” Childish screaming echoed through the cemetery, bringing the two out of their private little world. Ryou could hear Mariku cursing under his breath and felt ticked off, too.

“Shouldn’t children be in bed at this hour?” Ryou asked, frown evident on his features.

“Maybe they just have incompetent parents.” He didn’t need to see Mariku to know he was pissed, and frustrated, so Ryou didn’t even bother turning to face him.

“They probably scared away any ghost, too.” Ryou freed himself from Mariku’s arms, the mood now completely gone, and took a look at his watch. It was nearing midnight but somehow he didn’t feel like staying here anymore with all the children around.

“Want to get out of here?” questioned Mariku and Ryou nodded. “I’ll drive you home.”

“Thanks. Maybe we have a better luck next time.”

Mariku raised a brow, a corner of his lips lifting into a smirk. “A better luck with _what_?”

“With the ghost…” Ryou started puzzled before it hit him. “Ack! Mariku you’re such a perv!”

“You make me so, little ghost.”

Ryou rolled his eyes, trying not to blush and ignored the new nickname. He kind of liked it, though.

 


	16. Chapter 16

A week had passed since the visit to the graveyard, and Ryou had decided that it was time to get to know Yuugi’s friends better. They decided on a game, movie, and stuff-your-face-with-unhealthy-food night at Ryou’s house because that was the only place, out of their homes, they could fit comfortably in. 

After the first half an hour, Ryou was still nervous around all these people he barely knew by name and face. They weren’t bad people but after years and years of being alone it felt weird to be surrounded by people who all wanted to be his friends. He liked them; it would just take some getting used to. 

He listened to the conversation with a half an ear while waiting for his turn to move the game piece. He would occasionally participate, at least when someone asked him a question, but right now he wasn’t sure what they were talking about so it was best to just listen, or at least pretend to. 

Ryou let himself sink into his thoughts, about random things like how he hadn’t seen Mariku since the graveyard or how he had wanted to but didn’t want to seem clingy. 

Maybe not so random thoughts after all.

“It’s your turn, Ryou,” Yuugi’s voice broke his musing and his eyes shot up from the floor they had been directed on to see everyone else watching him.

“Oh, sorry,” Ryou turned pink out of embarrassment. “I guess I spaced out.” He flashed them a smile, rolling the dice and then moving his piece. 

“You bored or something?” asked Jounouchi. “If so, we can always watch that movie we brought.”

“No, no! I’m not bored, just… I was just thinking,” Ryou assured. “What movie did you bring, though?”

Anzu dug it out of her bag, presenting it to Ryou. “We know you like horror but didn’t know which you have seen so we played it safe and picked a comedy.”

“Besides, Jou here can’t watch horror without his safety blanket,” Honda said and got hit upside the head.

Ryou laughed a little at their behavior. “Comedy sounds good.” Never mind that this would be one of the first comedies he had ever seen, but he could probably enjoy it. If he didn’t like the movie, at least the company was good.

No one was surprised when Yuugi won The Generic Board Game and they decided that it was time for the movie and takeout. The eating got messy fast as they were all hungry and the movie was funny in Ryou’s opinion but he mostly ignored it, not finding it interesting. They laughed and their comments about the movie got more and more ridiculous as the night went on and no one cared about the time anymore. 

xxx

Next morning Ryou woke up earlier than usual because Jounouchi was snoring on his floor and he couldn’t sleep. The gang had ended up staying over after their game/movie night had stretched to the wee hours. All the guys had slept in his room whereas Anzu got to have his father’s bedroom all to herself. Since he was awake, he decided to make breakfast for everyone. On his way to the kitchen he passed the livingroom and saw all the candy wrappers laying around with empty bowls and some trash left from the takeout. Ryou frowned at the sight and wondered just who was going to clean that up. Maybe they didn’t deserve breakfast after all. 

He left the cleaning and complaining for later and entered the kitchen to start breakfast. He was feeling hungry and merciful so his friends could have some too if they behaved.  _His friends._ It felt strange to think that but it was good strange. As much as he enjoyed their company, he had come to a conclusion last night; he had been alone for far too long to stand company all the time, or even long periods of time. 

Now when he was alone in the kitchen, faint sounds that soon stopped coming from his room, he found this kind of short term loneliness rather nice. His own company wasn’t so bad when he knew he didn’t have to endure it for long. While gathering all the things he needed for breakfast, Ryou wondered if Mariku was so asocial simply because he had never had anyone to keep him company, to get him used to it. He seemed to like Ryou’s company well enough but perhaps the occasional pauses, like this one, when they didn’t see each other much were because Mariku needed his solitude. 

Someone was coming down the stairs and Ryou looked up from his work. A tired Honda walked through the door and fell down on a chair, head dropping to lie against his arms on the table. 

Ryou smiled although the other couldn’t see it. “Good morning. Couldn’t sleep?” 

“Jou snores… Yuugi did the smart thing by going to sleep on the couch,” Honda mumbled, voice muffled by sleep and his arms.

“Oh, funny how I didn’t notice him…” He had passed the living room. Maybe Yuugi was buried under all that trash. Ryou shrugged it off and put some toast in the toaster before moving to sit opposite to Honda who seemed half asleep. “Breakfast is ready soon.”

The other boy looked up and yawned. “Ok… How can you be so… awake? I can hardly keep my eyes open.”

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just too happy to be tired.” He smiled for real, small but bright. 

Honda smiled back a bit and let his head drop again. “Yuugi told us how you didn’t have any friends before. I guess you have us now, huh?” 

“Yeah… And Mariku, too.” The toast popped up and Ryou got up to take them out and finish breakfast, setting everything on the table. 

“Is he the guy who chased us out last time? I remember him. Oh breakfast!” The teen perked up and dug in. “No offence or anything but he seemed kind of,” he paused, mouth full, to think what word to use. 

Ryou laughed, grabbing himself something to eat, too. “I know what you mean. He isn’t always quite as charming though,” he joked and they both laughed some more. 

Soon they could hear loud stomping from the stairs and rustling from the living room. A loud yell of “Do I smell breakfast?” accompanied the stomps and it didn’t take long for Jounouchi to barge into the kitchen, followed by Yuugi and Anzu who were talking about something or other. “Good mornings” flew around before everyone settled to eat. Ryou leaned back and watched his new found friends eat and chat with a smile on his face. Maybe he could clean the living room after all.

The doorbell broke Ryou’s line of thought and he stood up wondering who it could be. It was still early morning and he wasn’t expecting anyone. He excused himself to get the door. Perhaps it was just the postman though he hoped it to be someone more familiar. 

xxx

As Mariku raised his hand to press the doorbell, he could hear several voices talking and yelling in the house. His face darkened and when his finger made contact with the doorbell, a displeased frown had settled on his features. He had hoped they could be alone but it seemed hoping had got him nowhere. 

Footsteps approached and the door opened revealing Ryou whose smile widened at the sight of him. “Mariku! Hi! You’re on the move early.” His smile came down a few notches as he studied the other’s face. “What’s wrong?” 

Mariku shook his head, forcing on a smirk. “Nothing.”

Ryou looked suspicious but didn’t comment on it. The smile was back brighter than ever and even though Mariku would normally like the sight, it now annoyed him above all else.

“Oh! I’m making you stand outside, sorry.” The smile got a sheepish quality as Ryou stepped aside. “Come in.” The noises got louder and someone called from the kitchen as Ryou closed the door.

“Who is it?”

“Mariku!” Ryou replied and the house got strangely quiet for a good while before the chatter started again. “I’ve got company, I hope you don’t mind.”

Of course he did! “Hm.” For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself tell Ryou it bothered him, not when the boy seemed so happy about it. A stab of jealousy was caused by the fact that it was these people, who no doubt included Yuugi, who could make Ryou this happy. 

“Are you sure you’re fine?” Ryou asked a worried frown now on his face. 

Oh great, Mariku thought, all he had managed to do was make Ryou worried. “I’m alright, you should rejoin your… friends.”

Ryou studied him a while longer before the smile carefully returned, as if cautious not to come back too soon, and leaned in to kiss him. When Ryou pulled away not to let it go too far in the presence of others, the radiant smile was there and just for him. 

“I’m glad you came,” Ryou whispered and took Mariku’s hand to lead him into the kitchen. Mariku let him, his own mood now considerably better. It didn’t last long when they entered the kitchen filled with loud people he didn’t like. Said loud people turned to look at him, not hostile but not friendly either, and quieted down. Mariku smirked down on them as the awkward moment stretched on. Ryou wasn’t oblivious to this either and his eyes pounced between the group of people and Mariku, increasingly uneasy. 

“Um… You remember Mariku, right?” Ryou asked, starting to fiddle with the hem of his night shirt. They all nodded and attempted to smile, which went unreturned. Mariku didn’t feel like he needed to be nice to these people, Ryou’s friends or not, and wasn’t one for pointless pleasantries anyway. He happened to glance at Ryou in the middle of staring down everyone else though, and the boy gave him a pleading look. Mariku rolled his eyes before directing them towards the mob again.

“Good morning everyone, any of that breakfast left for me?” He didn’t bother sounding too friendly so the otherwise pleasant words sounded weird spoken with his monotone. 

Yuugi smiled even though it seemed forced. “Of course, take a seat.” He gestured towards a free seat, got a nod from Mariku and a relieved smile from Ryou. Mariku sat down and the tension seemed to break as everyone began chatting again. Ryou sat next to him and squeezed his hand under the table, rubbing small circles on the back of his palm. Mariku could feel himself beginning to relax under the pleasant, but far too small, touch. 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Ryou asked quietly, ignoring everyone else and their pointless chatter. Mariku didn’t know if this was a conscious choice but it was working. 

“I’m not really all that hungry.” And it seemed like the group was devouring all the food like they had never seen any during their entire lives. “You ate already, right? It seems that soon there'll be no food left.”

Ryou snickered. “I ate, don’t worry. I’m glad they like my cooking.”

“Of course they do.” 

They continued to watch the others eat in silence, not feeling the need to talk right then. Ryou still held Mariku’s hand as if to make sure he stayed calm and didn’t blow up on his friends. Mariku considered it because it was likely to get them to leave but they would leave on their own or if Ryou just asked them to. He doubted he would as Ryou was far too polite. 

The food was almost gone and much to Mariku’s annoyance, the others were starting to pay more attention to them, looking just about ready to start a conversation. No one said anything and Ryou was starting to fidget on his seat, brows furrowing as if trying hard to come up with something. 

“Um… I’m going to do the dishes now. You get to know each other or something,” Ryou said.

“I can help you!” The whole group of friends jumped up and offered their help at the same time, then frowned at each other. Mariku began to chuckle under his hand before he broke into a laugh, finding the situation amusing. Ryou looked like he didn’t know what to do and the rest put more distance between them and Mariku. The laughter died down, leaving behind a humorless grin.

“How about you do the dishes since you’re all so eager,” Mariku addressed the group, “and I keep Ryou company?” 

“No, no! I can’t- They’re the guests so they shouldn’t have to!” Ryou cut in, waving his arms in the air, eyes widening in something aching to panic. “Seriously, I-!”

Mariku got up and snatched Ryou’s hands in a firm grip, stopping him from waving around like a lunatic and shutting him up. Ryou stared at him, opening and closing his mouth in an attempt to say something but at least he was still now. Mariku backed him out of the kitchen, towards the living room.

“Excuse us,” Mariku slammed the kitchen door shut, making Ryou jump and back away faster. Ryou's back hit the railing of the staircase and he flinched, glancing behind him. 

“M-Mariku what-?”

“Listen, stop fussing over those people, they’re not worth it,” Mariku spoke, stopping close to Ryou but far enough not to touch him. 

Ryou frowned, standing straight instead of covering against the railing. “I think they are. You-you should at least try to be nicer.”

Mariku snorted. “I don’t want to  _be nicer_ , there’s no point, and besides, they will leave if they’re not wanted.”

“ _I_ don’t want them to leave. I like spending time with them.” The alarm that Mariku’s actions earlier had caused faded away from Ryou’s tone and pose.

“But not with me?” 

Ryou stared and opened his mouth to speak but only succeeded in making sound the second time, brows furrowing further in anger. “What brought this on? I do like your company but not when you’re like this.”

The courage Ryou seemed to gain from defending his new found friends annoyed Mariku and the annoyance threatened to turn into rage when combined to jealousy but he fought to control it. “Like what? Not nice to your little friends? Or-”

“You’re being a bastard, Mariku!” Ryou’s yell interrupted him. “Why can’t you accept that I have other people in my life?! Don’t you,” his voice broke. “Don’t you want me to be happy?” Teary eyes looked at Mariku, almost breaking his virtually non-existent heart. “I-I thought you cared…”

Mariku had to look away. “Don’t be ridiculous!” he hissed. “Of course I do.”

“Then why do you…” A tear fell across Ryou’s cheek.

“Stop crying!” He said more forcefully than he had intended, turning back to Ryou and placing his hands on his cheeks, stroking just under the eyes with his thumbs. “Stop crying,” Mariku repeated, softly this time.

“I’m not.”

“You are, or at least feeling like it. Don’t.”

Ryou said nothing after that, just closed his eyes and sighed, relaxing and placing a hand on Mariku’s, touch soft. Mariku kissed the other lightly.

“We ok?” he asked and Ryou nodded after a few seconds of torment.

“Yes, but could you at least try to be a bit nicer? Please?”

“I make no promises,” Mariku whispered and kissed more firmly, nipping at Ryou’s lip a little. Ryou made a small sound and the hold on Mariku’s hand got tighter, almost needy. 

Then they heard a few gasps and apologies from behind them and stopped their actions. Mariku turned to see Yuugi and the others in the kitchen doorway, looking embarrassed. 

“Sorry, we, um… heard yelling so- yeah,” Yuugi explained lamely and rubbed the back of his head. “Maybe we should go if you guys want to be alone.”

Ryou was blushing furiously and pushed Mariku away. “Y-you don’t have to!”

“No, it’s ok, we can go.”

“Well, if you’re sure… We can walk you the first few blocks; I could use the fresh air,” Ryou offered much to Mariku’s dismay. It was almost as if Ryou didn’t want to stay there alone with him and was looking for an excuse to get away.

Mariku didn’t object though, for Ryou’s sake, and they ended up walking with the gang. Mariku got pulled into some pointless conversation even though he was reluctant about it. It was worth it when Ryou smiled at him in that bright, grateful way. Mariku decided that he could live through it.

xxx

Clouds hang low as they returned to the familiar street, walking side by side. Ryou looked up at the gray clouds and a cold gust of wind flew past them. 

“It’s going to be winter soon,” Ryou said quietly, turning to glance at Mariku. “Do you like winter?” Their eyes met for a second before they both faced forward again.

“Not really, it’s too cold for my taste.” He tucked his jacket closer. “Do you?”

Ryou nodded. “Yeah…” The rather meaningless talk about winter died soon though it had been nice; their conversations had been so serious lately and it seemed like now was the time for one of those again.

“Mariku?”

“Hmm?”

“Why… why don’t you like my friends?” A question Ryou had been wondering, one of the less embarrassing questions he wanted to ask. He guessed it had something to do with Mariku not liking people in general but he had a special dislike towards the gang. Of course, Mariku was the jealous type so maybe…

“I just don’t want to share you with anyone.” 

Ryou gazed at the other for a while before he smiled softly, blushing a little. “I wouldn’t worry about that…”

Mariku glanced at the boy, bringing an arm around his shoulders and Ryou leaned to him. “Why is that?” 

“Because none of them is as important to me as, as you are.” Ryou could sense Mariku’s stare and glanced up at him, grinning at his stupefied expression. “Didn’t think about that, did you, silly?” Ryou poked him with his elbow. “For such a smart guy you can be pretty stupid sometimes.” 

Mariku was silent for a few seconds before chuckling and hugging Ryou closer, to which the boy had no objections. “I guess I can.”

They reached Ryou’s door and awkwardly looked around, neither sure what to do or say now. 

“I should head home, it’s getting late.” Mariku was the first to speak and Ryou nodded, playing with his fingers. 

“I-I guess.” He didn’t want the other to go yet. Mariku raised an eyebrow at that but turned to leave. Ryou grabbed his shoulder. “Wait.” Mariku turned and got his lips attacked by Ryou’s almost desperate ones. He wanted Mariku to stay a little longer so maybe he could gather some courage to ask a question.

The way Mariku pushed Ryou against the door reminded him of the first time they had kissed. It had been for all the wrong reasons back then. Ryou held onto the door handle for support as Mariku’s hand traveled down his thigh, kiss demanding and bruising. He liked it.

They were both out of breath when they broke away, Ryou looking dazed. 

“Well,” Mariku started, smirking and eyes shining with emotion. “I should-”

“Would you like to stay over?” Ryou asked in a hurry, speaking quickly before he lost his nerve. 

A spark of lust lit the lilac depths and the smirk got wider. “If you’re sure you want me to.”

Ryou nodded, digging out his keys. “I’m sure.” 

 


	17. Chapter 17

_After stepping into the house, Ryou had little idea what to do next. As he removed his coat and hung it, he regretted not thinking through the whole thing. He should have planned this more carefully. Was there something he should do or say now to get things moving? What would Mariku like to..? Ryou glanced at the other for help and, apparently, Mariku would like to eat him all up._

_The look he was given was predatory, and Ryou was caught staring as an unholy grin took form. Suddenly, it was no longer unclear what he was expected to do. Ryou took a few steps back, glancing behind him to plan his route when Mariku’s voice caught his undivided attention._

“ _So…” Mariku advanced and Ryou stepped back, nearing the bottom of the stairs. “Now that I finally have you all to myself.” He paused and Ryou’s heart drummed against his ribs as he reached the end of the railing, taking a turn so the stairs were on his right. “What should I do with you?” Mariku took a step with each word and placed his hand on the wall next to Ryou’s head so that he could go nowhere except up the stairs._

_Ryou trusted Mariku enough to know he wasn’t in any real danger but he still found this, perhaps accidental, setup exhilarating. He remembered a short conversation they had had in the harbor and something he considered a promise._

_-_ _**“** _ _When you find yourself screaming for me and loving it._ _**”** _ _-_

“ _Maybe you could,” Ryou realized his voice shook and sounded foreign to him but his attempts to recompose himself were ruined when Mariku leaned in to hear him. “Y-you could fulfill your promise…”_

_An amused smirk replaced the grin from earlier. “What did I promise you?”_

“ _Y-you promised… t-to…” Ryou bit his lip and a finger traveled down his chest, past his stomach and stopped to fiddle with his the waistline of his jeans. “Y-you.”_

“ _Yess?”_

_He took a few deeper breaths to accompany his quickening breathing before fixing his eyes on Mariku’s, trying to show through them that the want and need he could see in the other’s gaze was not one sided._

“ _You promised to make me scream.”_

Ryou hugged the body next to him closer, sighing contently when the arms around him tightened their hold, both embraces possessive.

“ _Tell me you’re mine!”_

He kissed the other’s collarbone, a smile starting to tug his lips when he heard a grunt. The hand near the small of his back rubbed the skin at its leisure, letting Ryou know he wasn’t awake alone.

“ _Y-yes… yes, yours!”_

Ryou wormed his way up so that his face was at the same level with Mariku's, the soreness of his body lessening his comfort a bit. He was pretty sure he was sporting a few bruises, especially on his hips and wrists, but it was alright because despite his sore body, he felt great.

_When he cried out and arched, he found Mariku’s firm grip on him comforting but it also anchored him to reality. He would have held onto Mariku had the other not decided that he dug his fingers too deep into his shoulders and neck or fisted his hair too roughly. Ryou wanted to be gentle but it was difficult when his mind was so fogged by both pain and pleasure._

Slowly, Ryou opened his eyes to meet Mariku’s half lidded ones. He loved those unusual eyes when they were devoid of all anger and hate, like now. The eyes could make him fear for his own safety and for the safety of others, they could chill him to the core of his being, but also, in moments like these, they made him feel special and cared about. A soft smile formed on Ryou’s face. 

_The look he received while lying there fully exposed made him shiver and feel weak, yet there was something behind the whirling lust that made him wonder if Mariku had, for some odd reason, lied to him when telling that he couldn’t love. The strong emotion made Ryou feel powerful, too, and he returned the look full force._

“I love you…”

The gently spoken words made Mariku freeze for a few agonizing seconds, during which Ryou feared he had overstepped some invisible line, before Mariku relaxed and his eyes softened to the point Ryou could swear they were smiling.

“I know. I’m glad you do.”

It wasn’t exactly a love confession but it was the next best thing, making Ryou’s heart beat and giving it a reason to. He reached to clear away the sandy bangs obscuring his view and tickling his face, letting his fingers linger to stroke the hair and forehead, skimming over a cheek before starting to retreat. With one fast movement Mariku captured his hand, causing Ryou to jump before relaxing again when the other kissed his fingers and flicked his tongue over the palm. Ryou giggled but let Mariku have his way with his hand.

_Even if Ryou had been completely clueless about what he was to do, that would have been alright because Mariku guided him with touch and kiss and bite, dominant and none too gentle. All that was more than fine in Ryou’s book, even though he didn’t need as much guidance as he had thought._

The moment didn’t last long though as Mariku frowned and shifted his eyes to look at the clock on the wall, groaning and not in the good way. 

“I have to go to work.”

Ryou didn’t like the idea of him leaving either and his brows knitted together. “Now?”

“Now if I don’t want to be late.” Mariku untangled himself from the sheets and from Ryou, climbing off the bed and asking something about the shower to which Ryou gave the affirmative. He didn’t want to have them part so soon while being uncertain when they would see each other again.

Ryou turned on his back and glared at the ceiling as if it was its fault. The glare turned into a frown of confusion. His ceiling wasn’t that shade of white; in fact these weren’t his sheets either. His eyes went wide and he sat up, flinching in discomfort but ignoring that for now.

This was his father’s bedroom.

“Crap.”

His eyes fell on the discarded hand lotion bottle and the only thought besides “crap” was that he had known his father had forgotten something; his hands were going to be so dry now.

_Mariku’s eyes flicked towards a bottle of hand lotion standing on the nightstand. Ryou hadn’t been aware that he had it until now, and apparently, the presence of it was a blessing. He soon forgot to wonder its mysterious existence, becoming more focused on what it was used for._

His gaze and disorientated thoughts fell on Mariku as he re-entered the room, dressed and trying to get his hair dry.

“You seem distressed,” Mariku observed when Ryou just stared.

“My dad’s hands are going to be so dry,” Ryou muttered as that was the first thing that came to mind but the raised eyebrow that got helped him to remember the real reason for his current state of mind. “This is my father’s bedroom!” he exclaimed.

Mariku looked around and smirked. “So it seems.” 

Ryou was a lot less calm and smug about the fact. “We-we, in my dad’s…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it but he was sure Mariku got his meaning. 

“It’s not a big deal. We were both sort of _distracted_ at the time.” The previous smirk reformed to match the suggestive tone. 

“Well, yes but,” Ryou started but didn’t get to finish.

“I doubt he’ll find out unless we tell him.” All traces of the smirk disappeared. “Look, I really should be going now.”

“Oh ok…” That’s right, Mariku had to leave already. So much for staying in late and cuddling and having breakfast together. Now he felt stupid for even wanting to do those things. “Bye, then.” 

Mariku turned to leave but stopped before stepping out the door, turning to look at Ryou over his shoulder. “Ryou.” The boy looked up from the sheet he had been fiddling with. “If you like, I could come over after work.”

Ryou’s face lit up. “I’d like that.” 

With a final smirk his way, the other left and Ryou fell back on the bed with a broad smile. He rolled over to the side Mariku had laid on, buried his face into the sheets and inhaled deeply. It smelled like Mariku, and so did he. 

xxx

As simple and boring as filling the shelves was, Mariku lacked most of his normal resentment towards the task. The person behind the register, who usually worked with him, sent Mariku suspicious and wary looks because he hadn’t glared as much and replied with one or two words. The barely working slide door didn’t seem as tedious and the yellow cans that went on the top shelf appeared less unpleasant than usual. On occasions when he thought no one was looking, an almost content smirk graced his features. Though, Mariku suspected that at least his coworker had noticed because he was looking a bit freaked out. 

Mariku looked forward to seeing Ryou again after work, which would have been odd had it been someone else. He couldn’t remember a time he had been glad to meet up with another person. But this was Ryou and Ryou was special, important. Instead of trying to change his line of thought, he gave in and his lips twitched upwards.  _His_ Ryou…

“Hey, are you feeling fine?”

Mariku was brought back on Earth by the person whose name he somehow failed to remember despite how it glared at him from the name tag every weekend. The question was careful and the face he directed his attention on wary.

“Yes… Why?” Mariku arched a brow and the other fidgeted in his apron.

“You just seem… happy, sort of…”

He laughed, less sinister than usual but still not failing to make the other look ready to bolt. “Oh yes, run for the hills, Mariku is happy. Something must be  _wrong_ now.” 

The other laughed awkwardly. “Heh, yeah…”

“The world’s not coming to an end yet, don’t worry.” That was when he realized he was having a somewhat pleasant conversation with someone who, under normal circumstances, was completely meaningless to him. He continued with his task again, silence falling over the store aside from the sounds coming from outside and the noise made by the few customers. Half of a smirk settled on his face; Ryou was doing terrible things to him. 

xxx

Ryou pulled off the sheets, now showered and dressed, his hair in a loose ponytail. He had tried to find sheets similar to the old ones, coming across something that resembled them and managing to make a mess out of the previously neat closet. It felt like he was trying to cover his tracks after doing something he shouldn’t have. Not that he regretted anything but it was like rebelling against his father, having done something his only living parent wouldn’t be fine with despite how accidental it had been. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. On the other hand, it made him feel guilty not doing what his father thought best, but then again, this wasn’t his father’s life and it was sort of exciting to do something he was sure his father wouldn’t approve of. 

Satisfied with his work, Ryou stepped back and went to close the window he had opened earlier. Now that he was cleaning, he might as well clear out the mess in the living room Yuugi and gang had left yesterday. He had completely forgotten about it.

A few garbage bags and some vacuuming later the living room looked much better. Ryou smiled to the now clean room before heading to the kitchen where he found a pile of dishes waiting. It failed to bring his mood down any, and it didn’t take long for him to do the washing and to organize the dishes back to their rightful places. He did most of the cleaning around the house anyway so this was nothing new. 

xxx

Ryou opened the door drying his hands on a dish towel, and Mariku thought he looked adorable with his hair in a mess despite how it was tied, trying to wipe the stray strands out of his eyes. His face broke into a smile as he recognized Mariku who smirked back.

“Honey, I’m home,” Mariku teased, to which Ryou raised a brow, the smile not leaving but changing in quality. 

“Are you hinting I’m some sort of house wife?” Ryou asked, attempting to sound angry but not quite succeeding. 

Mariku’s smirk got wider. “No, of course not.” He stepped forth to go in and Ryou backed away to let him. “Besides, we’re not married so technically you’re not my wife and this isn’t my house.”

Ryou laughed; an endearing sound it was. “And you somehow forgot that I’m not a woman.” 

“Yes, that too.” Mariku shut the door behind him, closing the rest of the distance between them. “Perhaps you need to remind me…” 

A pink tint colored the bridge of Ryou’s nose but at the same time his lips tilted upwards and eyes glinted with something that mismatched with the shy reaction. “Someone has an awfully short memory,” was muttered past the damned smile that kept growing as the blush faded. 

The smiling mouth connected with Mariku’s expressionless one, an action that caused his hand to almost instinctively move to hold the back of Ryou’s head, few fingers burying themselves into the mass of white hair. A content sigh through parted lips was all the invitation Mariku needed, hoping to coax out more pleased little sounds that each felt like an accomplishment. Plus, when did he ever turn down the offer to get a small taste of Ryou? Though, as he had discovered, the whole meal was a lot more satisfying than just an appetizer. 

After breaking away, Ryou guided him into the kitchen that smelled fresh and clean. Mariku took a seat in a chair, a brow rising at the sparkly surfaces and the scent of a vacuum cleaner. Ryou noticed this, giving a sheepish smile and sitting opposite to Mariku.

“I felt like cleaning,” Ryou confessed and Mariku shook his head in amusement. 

“You must be the strangest person I know.”

Ryou didn’t seem to take offense but just shrugged and said nothing about the comment, making the other wonder if he was offended after all, just hiding it well. A small smirk took place in Mariku’s face as he moved to rephrase.

“I’m sorry, I meant _the most unique_ person I know.” 

This time Ryou laughed, getting up. “Thanks. Would you like something?” he asked, gesturing towards the counter and fridge.

“Some coffee would be nice.” Mariku wiggled his eyebrows, turning the otherwise innocent request into something else. Ryou rolled his eyes, yet grinned all the same. It was obvious that Ryou didn’t hold his request against him but took it with good humor and a hint of mischief.

“I bet it would, but I guess I walked right into that one.” The grin didn’t fade but came down a notch. “But seriously. Is there some kind of food or drink like product I could get you?” 

Mariku chuckled at this. “No thanks, just get your ghost-y self back here and sit with me,” he said, tone commanding but not harsh. 

Ryou sighed but moved himself towards the table. “If I must.” He threw another grin at his companion’s way and sat on his lap sideways, wrapping his arms around his neck and leaning on him. Mariku had no complaints on holding the object of his twisted affection close. They remained like that for long couple of minutes before Ryou spoke up, sounding reluctant to break the silence but forced to do so by some insecurity or other.

“Mariku?” Ryou lifted his head from where it had been resting. “You remember how I told my dad about us and he didn’t really like it?” Mariku nodded and the other continued. “Well, since he’s coming back home in a couple of weeks, I was wondering if we should form some sort of plan of action so he doesn’t completely freak.” 

Mariku wasn’t worried about the old man but since it was causing Ryou some distress… “I’m sure he’ll see reason if he actually agrees to talk to me and not just rant at me,” he spoke; only granting Ryou a short glance to see the worried look on his face. 

“See reason?” Ryou frowned. “How were you planning to make him?” Traces of creeping suspicion could be heard in his voice and that, in turn, made Mariku send Ryou an annoyed look for not trusting his abilities to handle something like this. Ryou must have noticed it because he hurried to correct himself. “I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just that,” he bit his lip. “I don’t know how’s that going to work… What if you both lose your tempers?” 

“We’ll just have to hope that doesn’t happen,” Mariku spat with more venom than he had intended. He closed his mouth and looked away before he could spout anything else Ryou didn’t deserve, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Ryou shifted on his lap as if getting ready to jump off but Mariku tightened his hold, forcing himself to calm down.

“Look… Don’t worry about it. If I can’t take care of it, I’m sure you can help me out.” He glanced at Ryou, one corner of his mouth twisting up. “Right?” 

Ryou relaxed again, smiling back, and nodded, easing himself to lean against the other. “Right.”

“Or we could just let him find some evidence of our relationship in his bedroom and tell him to deal with it.” Mariku suggested, earning a huff and a swap on the shoulder, which only caused him to chuckle. 

“Oh shut up, you.” 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The curse of the hiatus hit this edited version too but I handled it (and it's hasn't even been ten years yet)

”So, how are things over there?” Ryou’s father questioned through the phone while Ryou sat on the couch and flipped through a newspaper. He sounded casual but Ryou knew he wanted to make sure he would come home to a son that was alive and well.

”Good, dad. Nothing unusual, just school and, you know.” The answer was vague but there were still many questions to come that would clear everything out.

”Are you still spending time with Yuugi and his friends? They’re a good bunch of people, you know, they’ll do you good.”

Ryou rolled his eyes, not to the idea of hanging out with Yuugi, but to his father’s apparent inability to cut to the chase. He wondered if he should bring up Mariku since that was what his dad wanted to talk about. ”Yes, I’m still spending time with them. They’ve all been nice to me.” In times like these, Ryou realized how much he had learned to appreciate Mariku’s bluntness.

”Good, good," his father muttered.

Ryou turned a page, eyeing the headlines. They had almost covered all their usual topics, so any minute now…

”And what about, um, _him_? Are you two still..?” 

There we go! “Oh, Mariku?” Ryou asked although there was no need to; it was clear to whom his father was referring. ”He’s  _fine_ , and yes, we’re still together and I’m  happy about that.”

“Ah, yes…” His father sounded uncomfortable. Ryou wondered if he had emphasized Mariku’s fineness too much. “But you have to understand, what you've told me. The fact that he’s a man doesn’t bother me nearly as much as the knowledge that he’s… unstable.”

A frown formed and Ryou couldn’t keep the irritation out of his voice. “We’ve been through this before, dad. You haven’t even met him yet, you’ve talked to him on the phone  _once_ and that was very brief. You shouldn’t-”

“I know! I just don’t want you to get hurt. You’re all I have left.”

“I…” The words died on his lips. He had heard his father say something like that once before, when he had been younger. It had made him sad then, and it still did, but now that wasn’t because Ryou thought it was the absolute truth. “No. You’d still have your job and life and…”

“Ryou…”

Ryou wiped his eyes. No tears would fall over this. “I have to go.”

“No, wait! Please. I’m going to be home before your birthday. I promise we’ll do something together this year,” his father pleaded.

His birthday? Ryou glared at the opposite wall. His birthday had been today. He couldn’t blame his father for forgetting, though, as he had forgotten, too. Birthdays had lost their meaning because there was no one to celebrate them anymore.

“Oh, yes,” Ryou realized that he was on the phone and should say something. “That’d be great but I was thinking that maybe I could invite my new friends, and Mariku, to celebrate. Would that be ok?” His main concern being Mariku. No doubt his friends and father would get along but he was just as sure that having Mariku around would make things more complicated. Complicated wasn’t always bad, though.

His father hesitated. The silence stretched, turning awkward sooner than Ryou had expected it to, before words replaced the breathing.

“…Alright. If that’s what you want.”

“It is.”

xxx

“So, have you done this type of thing before?”

Mariku paused his looking around to glance at the speaker. “Yes, I have… In different conditions though.” The place was bigger than the one he had worked at, smelled less foul and appeared cleaner. When Mariku had decided to call the number he had gotten from the police woman, this was where he had ended up in. It was legal and, so far, willing to hire him despite his young age, under special circumstances he wasn’t aware of yet.

“You’d be working near the bar area with one other,” the man went on. Mariku wasn’t thrilled about the chance but he would take it if it meant he could move out sooner. There was nothing wrong with the apartment he had now, except for the neighborhood and the fact that it was an old building with some pluming problems just around the corner.

“We wouldn’t hire you but we had to fire our old bouncer because he touched the younger clientele and we were told to get someone younger and more appropriate. _And_ Miss Kujaku recommended you; she owns one fourth of the place, you see.” 

Had Mariku not been interested about the last bit, he would have noted how long the sentences were but otherwise ignored them. “Miss Kujaku?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t hang around here much but she should be here… at some point.”

Mariku raised a brow at “some point” but let it go for this once. Soon he could get away from this person and the job would be his.

“Oh yeah, Mariku, was it?” the other couldn’t shut up even though Mariku had hoped to get rid of him. “I’ll be working with you.”

Mariku’s eye twitched but he forced himself to think happy thoughts. “Wonderful.”

xxx

The problem with the “birthday party” was that Ryou had to tell Mariku about it  _and_ get him to come. He didn’t have much time to talk the other into it, because there wasn’t much time! Ryou thought of just asking and hoping for the best, and that couldn’t be counted as a plan. He had learned early on and through the hard way that telling Mariku to do anything was like digging his own grave. 

The plan wannabe was executed; Ryou asked Mariku to come on a walk with him because that was how they did things in this relationship. The important discussion took place on random walks, and yet, they hadn’t been on a proper date. Ryou decided that if this went well, he would bring up the date issue.

They were walking through a sidestreet since the main ones were so full of people. The people moving about were either walking or driving, and the noise coming from those wasn’t good for conversations. The buildings were closer to each other away from the main streets, and it felt like the pair was driven closer as well. Neither said anything and Mariku seemed fine with the silence.

Ryou wasn’t feeling as nervous as he had thought he would be but he did feel guilty. He was about to ask Mariku to come to his pseudo birthday party and didn’t even  _know_ when Mariku’s birthday was. What if it had passed without him knowing? 

“Hey, Mariku?” Ryou broke the relative silence, waiting for the one walking beside him, holding his hand, to acknowledge him. “When… when’s your birthday?” He felt ignorant for having to ask, but then again, Mariku never spoke of these things.

The hold on his hand got tighter. “That’s not important.”

From the reaction, Ryou guessed that he should change the subject but the curiosity got the worst of him. He couldn’t ask Mariku to come to his party if he didn’t know when he could return the favor. Besides, if they were together, he was allowed to know. Wasn’t he?

“What do you mean ‘not important’?” Ryou asked, and most of the question could pass as genuine will to know. “It is to me.”

Mariku didn’t bother with looking at Ryou as he spoke, keeping up the steady walking pace. “You haven’t told me yours, either.”

Ryou knew from experience this to be a bad sign; it meant Mariku was either insecure or angry, and it was funny how often those two coincided.

“Well, I’m sorry for wanting to know more about you.” Not the best time to get snappy, Ryou discovered as Mariku yanked them to a halt and pulled Ryou to face him.

“This has _nothing_ to do with you,” Mariku said. The look Ryou got reminded him of the look of malice the register guy had gotten that one time. If the look had been coming from someone else, or in different circumstances, Ryou would have jerked himself free and ran for his life. This time though, the hate wasn’t directed at him. Mariku’s eyes were on him, intense as ever, but they were looking inwards. 

Ryou didn’t dare move. He wasn’t afraid for himself anymore but the situation unnerved him. “Um… Mariku?” The grip on his hand was becoming painful but he didn’t yank or pull. “Could you let go of me?”

Mariku came out of his state with a snap. “What?”

Ryou flinched despite himself. “You’re hurting me.” He glanced at their hands and Mariku’s eyes followed his.

The grip was gone in an instant, and Mariku glanced at the asphalt. “It wasn’t my intention.”

Ryou tried a smile and rubbed his hand. “I know.” He didn’t want to think what happened when Mariku did intend to cause pain. Or, he did, out of twisted curiosity, but now wasn’t the best time to think about things like that.

“It’s near the end of the year,” Mariku spoke up, making Ryou blink in confusion.

“Huh?”

“My birthday.”

Despite the sore hand, Ryou’s face broke into a smile. “Doesn’t that mean you’ll be twenty this year?”

“Unfortunately,” Mariku smirked. “The good news is that no one will remember.”

Ryou’s smile began to disappear. “I'll remember.” He failed to see the humor, however dark it was, in this situation. “When is the last time you had a party, anyway?” Even though Ryou’s birthdays had long ago lost their meaning, he remembered enjoying them as a child and guessed that on some level, he wanted to keep enjoying them.

“I’ve never had one,” Mariku shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal but Ryou’s eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

“Never? What- Why?” And here he had thought he was in a bad situation. “What sort of parents do you have?!”

Mariku turned his glare away from him. Ryou saw his fists clench and realized his own lack of tact. Wasn’t he supposed to be the tactful and polite one? This was a bad time to screw up.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” That’s right. Mariku’s mother was dead and his father… Ryou knew next to nothing about Mariku’s life before now and yet he had opened his big mouth. “I’m sorry.” He looked down so he didn’t have to see the other’s glare directed at an innocent wall.

“When is your birthday, Ryou?”

Ryou’s head turned up in surprise, and being refused eye contact stung. “My? Oh. It sort of, was already.” Mariku was upset. Now was not the time to bring up any party.

“Hm.”

A colorful leaf flew past them, dancing in the cold wind. He wanted to comfort Mariku but didn’t know how. Even when the other was standing right next to Ryou, he was in his own solitude, on a pedestal that was too high for Ryou to climb up alone. He needed Mariku to reach down and help him but Mariku did that on rare occasions. Even when he did, Ryou was easy to push down again.

“We should get going,” Mariku said, glancing at Ryou who nodded but didn’t take the offered hand. The boring brick walls surrounding the pair closed in on them, and Ryou just wanted to run to get away. He began walking faster but after a few steps, Mariku took a hold of his shoulders, kissing him on the lips and letting it linger. 

When he was let go, Ryou saw the soft shade of purple that made his lips turn upwards without conscious effort.

“Happy belated birthday, ghostie.”

Ryou laughed, getting all the more reason to love the other. Ryou decided that when Mariku would reach down and pull him up, he would be ready. He would never let go.

xxx

Mariku didn’t know what was it with Ryou and birthdays but he would find out. He thought that it was stupid of Ryou to ask when his birthday was without mentioning his own. It was never Ryou he was angry with. It was with the feelings the innocent question had provoked. It wasn’t a big deal, and if Ryou ever stopped wishing that Mariku opened up to him on his own and asked instead, Mariku would share some more information. Or, that’s what he liked to think.

The street they were passing was one Mariku had walked down last night, coming home from his new job. All annoying coworkers and bosses put aside, it was the best job he had had in a long time. Ryou looked around and Mariku guessed he hadn’t been in this part of the city before.

“You know, you should go out more.”

Ryou spared him a glance, accompanied by a small smile. “Maybe you should take me out more.”

Mariku raised a brow. “You would like me to?” By some miracle, he managed to make it a question, instead of a statement it longed to be. He hoped Ryou wouldn’t want to go anywhere with lots of people because then he would have to decline. Even though Ryou wouldn’t show his disappointment, the feeling would still be there.

“I would,” Ryou nodded, the smile turning into a beam. “I have been cooped up most of my life, so. Nowhere with a huge crowd.” There was new bounce in Ryou’s steps. The birthday discussion must have cleared the air of something Mariku hadn’t known was polluting it. The change brought a grin on Mariku’s face.

“I’ll consider it, then.”

Ryou looked ready to scowl at him for that when a voice that Mariku had hoped he had left at the new job interrupted him.

“A bouncer by night and an escort by day, Ishtar?”

The woman in purple came out of a small shop, a police uniform on one arm. Ryou looked confused, glancing between the two as they passed the shop, but Mariku didn’t spare her a second glance.

“That’s rich coming from you, Kujaku.”

She laughed and waved at Ryou who took Mariku’s example and kept walking. Mariku reminded himself not to walk past here on his spare time anymore. Work was work and running into his new boss wasn’t what he called free time.

“Uh… Who was she?” Ryou asked, frowning and eyes darting behind them now and again. Mariku turned his eyes on the boy and smirked at the disapproving look Ryou was giving over his shoulder.

“My boss. Nothing to be worried about if you’re wondering.” Mariku felt like laughing at Ryou’s expression when he whirled to face him.

“I was not! I mean,” Ryou looked unsure of what he had meant. “I… I think it’s great that you have a new job,” he finished and hid behind his hair. Mariku’s brow arched at the strange behavior but he decided to keep them walking instead of commenting on it.

He hadn’t taken Ryou as the jealous type. Wasn’t jealousy also a sign of distrust? Mariku blinked at his own thoughts, the expression of confusion soon turning into a glare. The look wasn’t directed at anyone in particular but if Mariku could glare at himself, he would. Maybe Ryou had been right about him being a bastard.

“Ryou?”

Ryou looked at him, blushing in faint, embarrassed pink. “Yes?”

“Where would you like to go? On a date, I mean.”

Ryou blinked, opening his mouth but nothing came out. A thoughtful frown replaced the disbelief. “I haven’t thought about it.” Light went on behind Ryou’s eyes and hadn’t Mariku known better, he could have sworn Ryou was scheming. He did know better, right?

“How about,” Ryou began, as though shy about something, “you come to the birthday party I’m having once dad gets home, and afterwards we can,” Ryou shrugged and grinned, “I don’t know, do something together?”

The “do something together”-part sounded interesting enough but, “What sort of party are we talking about?”

The grin refused to disappear. “The kind with my friends and father, and where you can’t start anything or else it’ll be ruined.” Ryou paused to change the grin to a smile, and without knowing it, he had talked Mariku into agreeing. “Of course, that applies to all participants.”

Mariku smirked. “I like the last part of your,” he licked his lip, “ _proposal_ … but I have to think about the party.” 

Ryou kept the blasted smile on. “It’s a package deal, though.”

xxx

It had been unplanned but since the opportunity had presented itself, Ryou had given it a shot.

“I am so good,” Ryou whispered to himself when he parted with Mariku. He hadn’t been sure if he would be able to pull that off but it had worked like a charm. Mariku was coming to his party. Whether or not Mariku would behave was still open but Ryou was sure he would at least try. All Ryou had to do, was to make sure everything else worked out as well. He had the feeling that it would be more difficult to carry out. And here he had thought that getting Mariku to come would be the difficult part.

Ryou yawned, realizing how tired he was. He would still have to go to school tomorrow and invite everyone else. He hadn’t invited anyone, except Mariku, to any party, ever, so he wasn’t sure how to go about it. He had gotten Mariku to come, and lived, so it couldn’t be  _that_ hard. 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

“So let me get this straight,” started Jounouchi. “You’re having a late birthday party, your dad’s going to be there, you invited this Mariku guy and you want us to come?”

Ryou nodded. “Yes.” He knew where the problem with the plan was. “I know it sounds a little…”

“It sounds like trouble.”

“If you don’t want to come,” Ryou started but wasn’t allowed to finish before Yuugi spoke up.

“Of course we want to!” he looked at the others who sat on the same bench near the sidewalk. How a bench meant for three people fit all five of them, was a mystery. “Right guys?”

Anzu nodded. “Sounds great, I’m coming.” She gave a sharp look at Jounouchi and Honda who appeared apprehensive. “And you’re coming, too.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Do you want to leave Ryou to deal with his father and boyfriend alone?”

Ryou guessed it was settled. It hadn’t been as difficult as he had thought it would be. He realized, though, that whether or not the party would succeed was up to Mariku. The thought didn’t put his mind at ease; it was his party, the first one in ages, and there was little he could do to make sure everyone had fun. He handled Mariku well enough when they were alone but in company…

He shook his head, noting how that got a strange look from Yuugi. “Handled Mariku” sounded cold even to him. Like Mariku was something he  had to deal with, instead of being one of the only people he  wanted to deal with. Ryou realized that while he was pondering on his relationship issues, the conversation around him went on and he had lost track of it. 

“Hey, you alright?”

Ryou looked up to see Honda watching him, and smiled just to wipe the concern away before anyone else could notice. “I’m fine, thanks. Just a bit,” he paused. Since he was there, spending time with his friends, he might as well be  _there_ , not in a land far, far away. “Sorry, what are we talking about?”

“About how we should get going before we all get a back cramp,” Jounouchi piped up for his friend. No one seemed to mind that Ryou had spaced out. Something inside of him insisted that it was because they didn’t care, but Ryou shut it out. He was a part of an “us” now. Not “Yuugi and his friends, and Ryou” but “we”. It was a nice feeling, but…

If the gang, now including him, was “us”, what did it make Mariku and him? Without noticing, Ryou slowed down his steps, slipping farther away from the rest of the group. He didn’t want to choose between his friends and Mariku. The purpose of the party was that they could all learn to get along and he wouldn’t have to choose.

Ryou stopped altogether, frowning at the asphalt. Why, no matter how hard he tried, everything was always up to Mariku?

xxx

Twisted pleasure ran through him as the face met pavement with a pained groan. Mariku turned his back on the drunken heap of a troublemaker and went inside, the glaring lights banishing his lazy grin. People who had witnessed the incident taking place a moment ago made sure not to be on his path as he made his way to a spot where the lights wouldn’t make him blind. 

Kujaku didn’t look too pleased as she made her way through the crowd only to park herself next to Mariku.

“Is there a problem?” he asked before she could start explaining her frown.

“There was but you took care of it,” she stated. “Should I be worried about how you only look happy when you’re either causing pain or walking hand-in-hand with your sweetheart?”

There was truth to the question but it didn’t stop it from being amusing. “No, you shouldn’t.” What made him happy had nothing to do with his job as long as he didn’t hurt anyone too much.

The woman snorted, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall next to Mariku. “You know, the guy you work with brought you up the other night. He thinks it must take something truly amazing to be in good terms with you.”

Mariku smirked. “It does.” Something truly amazing, not to mention  unique . The thought of Ryou made him feel a bit calmer and the blinking lights didn’t bother him as much. Even his boss’ recently developed habit of trying to converse with him didn’t feel so bothersome. He would have to remember this feeling so he could try and come back to it during the so-called birthday party. 

“What’s with the dark face?”

He considered not giving an answer. “What if the person you care about has really annoying friends?”

Kujaku shrugged. “It’s not the friends you’re dating.” She pushed off the wall to disappear back into the crowd.

xxx

Ryou went to the airport to welcome his father back. He was glad about his decision to come alone. He had thought that he was independent but back then, he hadn’t had a choice. He had had to go alone, whether he wanted to or not. When he had friends who wanted to accompany him, going alone was his  _decision_ . That made all the difference. 

The familiar head among the crowd made Ryou smile and break into a run. He had missed his dad despite all the problems his return might cause.

”Dad!” Ryou stopped in front of his father. The man offered a tired smile.

”Ryou. Can you help me with this?” he gestured towards his luggage. ”I’m afraid you will have to do some laundry.”

Ryou laughed while picking up a bag. ”I won’t mind. Welcome back, dad.”

”It’s good to be back, son.”

They loaded the luggage into a back of the car Ryou’s father had waiting for them. The car belonged to one of his colleagues and some other people took the same ride. After a short and formal introduction between car-mates, they got going. Ryou spent most of the ride looking out the window he had been lucky to be seated next to. He wasn’t well versed enough with his father’s job to understand everything about the conversation around him.

Once home, he helped his father unpack and sought out the laundry the man had mentioned. Ryou had made a meal before leaving to welcome back his dad so he wouldn’t have a hungry father in his hands. He sorted out the laundry while the older man ate and, in a spur of the moment, checked if the bed sheets were alright. It was a ridiculous thing to do but he felt better knowing that the sheets were alright.

“Ryou?” his father called from downstairs. “Come keep me company, it’s been quite a while since we’ve last talked face to face!”

“Just a second!” Ryou sprinted down the stairs but then remembered that his father always reminded him not to run down them. He was glad his dad didn’t know about how fast he had gotten down the stairs when he had first met Mariku. So he slowed down to a walk. Seeing his father’s expression, he knew he had been heard. The look was quickly wiped off the man’s face and replaced with a smile.

“Are you excited about tomorrow?”

Ryou took a seat opposite to the man. “Yes.” Though it also made him nervous. His father was looking at him and Ryou realized that one word didn’t suffice as an answer. “I’m looking forward to it. I hope everyone will have a good time.” He hoped he could have stopped at ‘yes’; the extended answer sounded so cliché even his father noticed something wrong with it. Ryou smiled at him. “I’ll make sure they all make it out alive.” It paid off and made his father smile a little and relax.

xxx

It started out well enough. Everyone arrived on time and Ryou managed to stop Mariku from molesting him in front of his father. The man seemed to try and not be openly hostile towards Mariku who had the sense to do the same.

As expected, Yuugi and gang got the thumbs up from Ryou’s father. The mentioned ‘thumbs up’ was literal enough to almost make Ryou face palm. 

Ryou had made everyone swear not to bring him anything. It wasn’t his real birthday, though Mariku was the only one who knew about that. Their presence was present enough. He had found a suspicious amount of money on his nightstand earlier and when he had asked his father about it, he was told that it was for food since Ryou did the shopping. The sum had been too large to be just for food, though. His friends had kept their word for the most part but they did bring him a card that played a song when opened. Something that would have amused him when he was five but it was the thought that counted.

As long as he stayed in the same room with everyone, things went well. Or that was the feeling Ryou had. Yuugi tried to start a conversation with Mariku, and managed somewhat, but it didn’t last long. His father looked like he wanted to follow Yuugi’s example. Ryou wasn’t sure if he should try and encourage it. The decision got put off, though, when he had to stop by the kitchen to get more drinks. It didn’t seem impossible for everyone to survive if he went away for a few seconds.

What things seemed, had little to do with how they were, as Ryou discovered when he came back. He didn’t catch what Mariku had said but Jounouchi didn’t look happy about it.

“Look, do you want your ass handed to you?” Jounouchi asked. Ryou felt like slapping his forehead for being stupid enough to think this would work out for the better. Any second now Mariku would snap and everything would go down with a bang.

As Ryou waited for the inevitable, Mariku regarded Jou with a raised eyebrow and smirked without another word. Instead of snapping right back like Ryou had expected him to, Mariku looked like he wanted to laugh at Jounouchi’s face while turning away, ignoring the fuming teen.

Ryou felt like going right up to Mariku and kissing him there in front of everyone. He decided that he would save all kissing, and other things better performed in private, until later. Instead, he smiled at the other who had settled in a more secluded corner. “This is going a lot better than I thought.”

A blond eyebrow arched at the observation. “Should I be insulted by your lack of faith?”

Ryou laughed. “Maybe a little. But I won’t say I’m sorry until this is over.”

Mariku’s grin made Ryou’s heart strike his ribcage harder than necessary. “Hm, you should apologize now when your mouth isn’t otherwise occupied.”

The aforementioned mouth went dry as Ryou blushed, hoping that no one had heard but, in all honesty, wishing the party ended soon.

“Ahem.”

The cough cut their conversation short. Ryou remembered that his father was present when he made eye contact with the man.

“Am I, uh… interrupting something?”

“Not at all, Mr. Bakura,” Mariku said while Ryou was too busy blushing.

“Right. Well, Mariku, I’ve heard much about you but I don’t think we have, had a conversation,” Ryou's father said. Ryou decided to stay silent for now but it was clear to him that under the polite exterior, both held distaste for the other. He hoped it was because they had started off wrong and would soon lessen, if not disappear.

“Yes. Besides the short talk about hands.” Mariku smirked at the other man’s wide-eyed reaction. Ryou didn’t blame his father for reacting like he had; Mariku’s mannerism took some getting used to.

The man coughed. “Um, yes, besides that.” He turned to Ryou. “Son, shouldn’t you be socializing with you friends?”

Ryou knew that meant his father wanted to talk to Mariku in private but he was reluctant to leave. “I’m sure they’ll be fine.” He didn’t want to leave the two alone in fear of something bad happening.

“Ryou.” Mariku’s voice stopped Ryou from mutilating his hands when fiddling with his fingers. He directed his attention to Mariku, forgetting his hands for a second.

“We’ll be fine without you here. You go and have fun.” Mariku grinned and Ryou found it reassuring. “This is your party, after all.”

Ryou knew they would be fine. The knowledge was sudden and unexpected as most important realizations were. Somehow, he knew he could trust Mariku on this one.

“Alright,” Ryou smiled. “I think the snack bowls needs refilling, excuse me.” Before turning and leaving, he took note of how his father’s gaze bounced between Mariku and him, like the man had noticed something transpire that excluded him.

Ryou sought out Jounouchi who was pouting on an armchair. He offered his friend a smile. “Don’t let him get to you too much, ok?”

Jounouchi glanced at him. “How do you put up with him? He’s so… argh!” Jou hit the chair’s arm and Ryou snickered despite himself.

“He is quite ‘argh!’ on occasion, yes. But I feel like I’ll soon learn how to avoid all that ‘argh!’”

“Well, good for you. I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with him too often,” Jounouchi said. Ryou shook his head but kept smiling. He would have to come to terms with his friends not getting along with Mariku. It wasn’t a nice thing to admit but he could see no way around it.

“Anyway, I’m going to fill the snack bowl, want to come?”

Jou perked up. “Do you need to ask?”

xxx

Mariku watched Ryou walk away, the sway of hair and delicate body. He hoped to get a better view once the party was over, and was certain he would.

The tedious man coughed again to break Mariku’s line of thought. He looked at Mr. Bakura from the corner of his eye.

The man frowned at him. “I don’t like the way you look at my son.”

“I appreciate your honesty but there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Mr. Bakura nodded, the gesture reluctant, almost defeated. “I realize that.” He paused for a while. “I… Ryou never yelled at me before you came along.” The man looked down, his smile sorrowful. “I guess I have lost him.”

Mariku had expected the man to fight to keep his precious son but instead, he had just admitted defeat. In a way, the father wasn’t so different from the son.

“I don’t believe you can loose him, Mr. Bakura,” Mariku said and realized his words held the truth he had avoided admitting. “For Ryou, the fact that you’re family is very important. I might not agree but blood ties people together.”

Mr. Bakura looked up and blinked. “I-I…” His face broke into a smile. “I suppose you’re right.”

Mariku smirked. “Obviously.”

xxx

“Ryou, look,” Yuugi said, interrupting the conversation. Ryou looked up from his glass to see Yuugi nodding towards Mariku and his father. He snapped his gaze to the pair, afraid that something was wrong after all. Yuugi hadn’t sounded panicked but Ryou couldn’t stop the negative from coming to mind first.

He had to blink at the sight, unable to believe his eyes. His father was  _smiling_ at Mariku. The gesture was small and unsure but it was a smile. Ryou hadn’t known he could feel so relieved and hadn’t been aware of how tense he was until he relaxed. It looked like everyone would get through the party unharmed. Now he had to apologize for not having enough faith in Mariku, maybe do something to make it up to him. 

Yuugi was looking at him strangely and Ryou realized that his recent thoughts must have been showing on his face. He wiped his mind and face clean before changing the subject.

“Thanks for the card, again. It’s… I told you not to.”

“I know,” Yuugi smiled and it soon got a sheepish quality. “We felt bad about coming empty handed, though. It’s just something we picked on the way here so it’s not…” He laughed a little. “It’s ok if you don’t like it.”

 

xxx

It was getting late and his father wanted to go to bed. Ryou stood in the hall, having wished his dad good night, and tried to shush all the loudest noises the gang made while getting ready to leave. He took Mariku’s hand in his just in case Mariku forgot that he wasn’t supposed to leave yet.

Ryou waved after his friends before closing the door and turning to Mariku. He smiled. “That went well.” He thought to thank Mariku but he didn’t want to believe that it had been all Mariku’s doing. “Much better than I thought it would.”

Mariku wrapped his arms around Ryou’s waist, smirking. “You didn’t think I’d behave.”

“I knew you’d try,” Ryou made amends, still smiling, dragging his hand up Mariku's forearm.

“Hm. I figured I should try and trust your judgment.” Mariku tightened his grip. “Since you thought getting along with your little friends was the best course of action.”

There was something almost lazy in the way the words were spoken. Ryou stayed silent, curious as to what Mariku had to say.

“I want to trust you, Ryou.”

He kept his gaze on Mariku’s eyes. The hold around him wasn’t tight but, as the other leaned forward, it started to feel uncomfortable, threatening like it was keeping him there against his will.

Mariku stopped next to his ear and Ryou’s touch on his arm became a grip when the whisper brushed past the lobe.

“Don’t betray me.”

Ryou’s mind went blank as Mariku kissed his ear.

Betray?

He had promised to do something with Mariku if everything went well. The tongue probing his ear and the slight sway of Mariku's hips against his gave a fair indication what he wanted. Ryou would stick to his promise, if only to help strengthen the trust forming between them.

He tilted his head to give Mariku room to work and wrapped his arms around him. “Mariku,” Ryou whispered. “My father’s upstairs.”

“We’ll have to be quiet.”

Ryou gasped as the other bit his earlobe and the noise sounded a little too loud for him. “I d-don’t think I can.” His back hit the wall.

“Well,” Mariku ground against the smaller body. “I’m not in a fit state to ride my bike.” Ryou arched for more contact and moaned, his own desires awakening. “So…” Mariku grinned against his ear. “If you want to go to my place, you’ll have to do something about it.”

Ryou went red. “I, um…” He felt Mariku reach to grab his wrist, to guide his hand downward.

“Touch me.”

Mariku’s breath was hot against his skin. It wasn’t an order but more like a request and Ryou found his hand complying the one guiding it. “O-ok…”

 


	20. Chapter 20

Ryou couldn’t feel Mariku with him. He forced his eyes open, and when he saw no one, reached behind him. Nothing but wrinkled sheets. The realization woke him from slumber to near panic. He told himself to calm down and turn around to see the rest of the apartment. The wall he was facing wouldn’t give any answers. Mariku couldn’t have abandoned him.

When Ryou turned around, he saw Mariku sitting on the couch, staring at the wall opposite. Relief rushed through him. Mariku hadn’t reacted to the movement so Ryou decided to take the opportunity to watch him. As he looked, he noticed that it wasn’t the wall the eyes were fixed at; it was the back of Mariku’s head. Ryou was in no hurry to snap Mariku out of it. It’s wasn’t every day Ryou could openly stare without being noticed. Whenever Mariku noticed, he started to stare back, amused or questioning, and Ryou had to look away out of embarrassment. Mariku, though, didn’t get embarrassed.

What was he thinking?

A frown worked its way on Ryou’s face. There were some signs in Mariku’s posture and on his face of his inner workings. He was relaxed against the backrest but the way his hands would twitch betrayed some tension. His brows knitted together in a deeper version of Ryou’s expression, and where Ryou’s frown was contemplative, his was angry. Ryou didn’t find it surprising. There seemed to always be some resentment in Mariku.

Whatever it was that he was dwelling in, Ryou didn’t want him to dwell too deep. Should he snap Mariku out of it? The decision was made for him when the frowning face turned to him. He flinched like he had done something to deserve the look but Mariku’s face softened a touch, the anger disappearing.

“You’re awake.”

Ryou tried a smile. “Good morning.” Mariku didn’t return the gesture but his frown continued to become less severe.

“I made breakfast.”

The words took a moment to register. “You-?” He stopped before he could sound too disbelieving. He didn’t even know how long Mariku had lived alone. “Thank you,” seemed like a good way to cover his near blunder. When Mariku just nodded, Ryou felt the need to make him talk.

“Have you been up long?” Ryou sat up slowly, spotting his clothes in a neat pile next to the mattress.

“A while.”

For a moment it seemed like that was all he was going to get so Ryou pulled on some pants, figuring the breakfast could give them something to talk about.

“I don’t sleep much,” Mariku continued and Ryou looked up to face him again.

“How come?”

“It’s something I just don’t like doing.”

The small piece of information made Ryou so happy he felt pathetic for it. But the source of the emotion wasn’t the knowledge about Mariku’s sleeping patterns. Mariku was talking about himself.

“Is there a reason for that?” Ryou tried. He wasn’t sure if asking questions made him too imploring but containing them was difficult.

“Yes.” Mariku looked straight at Ryou as he spoke. The pause stretched again and Ryou wondered if the other was trying to decide how much to say or if he was fighting an urge to shy away.

“Some time back, a long time ago, I realized that I no longer wanted to live my life like other people expected me to.”

“Other people,” Ryou whispered, the long answer throwing him back and off balance.

“My father and most of the family,” Mariku answered Ryou’s unasked question. “They didn’t like my defiance, if you will, and connections were cut.” 

“Did they,” Ryou started as he regained some coherence. “Did they kick you out?”

“I was told to leave and I did.” Mariku’s eyes strayed to the side and he smirked. “They’d tell you that I ran off.”

Maybe Ryou’s senses hadn’t come back yet because he moved, careful not to be too sudden, and went to sit next to Mariku. He had time to arch his brow in question before Ryou wrapped his arms around him. He felt Mariku tense within the embrace. Ryou prayed that Mariku would just let himself be held.

Mariku put his hands on Ryou’s sides and for a moment, Ryou thought he was going to push him away. “You don’t know what I did to be told to leave.” The hands remained, not pushing nor pulling closer.

“I thought you told me,” Ryou said against Mariku’s shoulder.

“Not the specifics.”

Not seeing Mariku’s face made Ryou hesitate but there was no anger in his voice, or touch, so Ryou ventured further. “Do you want me to know?” He swore he felt Mariku’s breathing stop for the shortest of moments.

“You should know.”

They both slipped into silence. Ryou found himself wondering once again what was going through Mariku’s head. To tell the truth, Ryou wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. He had the feeling that Mariku was capable of terrible things. Would he be ready for the feeling to turn into knowledge? He doubted that loving a person like Mariku would ever be painless but could it get too severe?

“My father and I got into a fight,” Mariku spoke. “I was disappointed when he was only hospitalized.” He moved to remove Ryou’s hold on him. Ryou only tightened it.

“Don’t,” Ryou whispered and the fingers on his sides dug deeper. He winced. “Please. Don’t push me away.”

Mariku loosened his grip out of surprise, or maybe he realized he was hurting Ryou. To Ryou, the reason wasn’t important. After a moment of stillness, the hands started to move on his sides and Mariku nuzzled his way to Ryou’s ear.

“Put a shirt on or I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

Ryou laughed. “Maybe I don’t want your hands off me.” He felt more than heard Mariku chuckle.

xxx

Mariku watched Ryou eat. He looked so happy, just because Mariku had let him cling onto him. The kitchen was too small to eat in so they had brought everything to the living room. The food was something Mariku had thrown together from what he had. Ryou ate it as if all it took to make it taste great, was the knowledge that Mariku had made it for him.

He had tried to be civil to Ryou’s friends and tried to get in good terms with his father. Neither was something he would have done hadn’t Ryou asked it of him. Ryou had power over him, yet Mariku wanted to believe that power wouldn’t be used against him. He gave some of his control to Ryou who in turn accepted him with all his flaws. If that was how ‘love’ worked, it didn’t seem like such a bad thing.

“Ryou.”

He looked up from his food and stopped chewing.

“I have something for you.” Before Ryou could finish chewing, swallow and start protesting, Mariku continued, “I know you told everyone not to get you a birthday gift. It wasn’t your real birthday and neither is today so,” he smirked at Ryou’s baffled expression, “this is just a regular gift. Is that acceptable?” Mariku rose from the couch without waiting for an answer. He had gone out of his way to get something for Ryou.

Ryou wasn’t rude enough to refuse.

“You didn’t have to,” he said but Mariku chose to ignore the protest. He dug out an envelope from under a couch cushion and handed it over. Ryou reached for it, pulling it to him. He looked the envelope over and fingered one corner.

“The gift is inside, you know.”

Ryou ducked his head but it was to hide a smile. “I know. I’m just savoring the moment.” He glanced at Mariku who was still standing. It wasn’t that Mariku was preparing to escape if Ryou didn’t like the present. He had just forgotten to sit back down.

Finally, Ryou opened it and looked inside. Mariku stood by, waiting a reaction and telling himself he wasn’t anxious.

“Movie tickets.” Ryou turned his eyes on Mariku. The look in them was questioning. “I thought you didn’t like crowds.”

Mariku smirked. “I hoped you’d conclude that the other one is for me.” Ryou smiled up at him. “It’s a late screening and the movie isn’t mainstream so I figured there wouldn’t be that many people,” he felt compelled to explain. It hadn’t been a decision made with reason and logic. Ryou needed to go out more.

xxx

Ryou met his father in the kitchen after coming home. He was greeted with a ‘good morning’ and an interrogation.

“Where were you last night?”

Ryou stood in the doorway for a moment longer before taking a seat opposite to his father. The man put his cup down and folded the newspaper.

“With Mariku, at his place.” Ryou hoped it would be left at that. Hoping didn’t do much, though, as his father looked ready for a longer talk.

“I see.” His father’s eyes trailed from Ryou’s and stopped somewhere near his shirt collar. He frowned. Ryou lifted his hand, eyes widening when he felt a bite mark.

“Dad, it’s…” His father glanced at Ryou’s wrist before locking eyes with him.

“He’s a bit rough, isn’t he?”

“Well, he-”

“If you don’t, like it, don’t defend him.”

Ryou shifted on his seat. “Dad.” He didn’t want to have this conversation.

“He didn’t seem horrible when I talked to him yesterday but he’s,” the man stirred his tea, not looking at the cup, “very dominant, isn’t he?”

“He,” Ryou wasn’t allowed to continue yet.

“Won’t that cause trouble for you? If not yet then later on? And you’re...” He didn’t look comfortable about the subject either. “You have, um, been intimate with him. For how long?”

Was he asking what Ryou thought he was? Ryou took a deep breath, realizing there was no way out. “This was the second time.”

His father nodded. “Is the bruising somehow, uh, a part of it, with him?”

Ryou felt his face grow warm and he had to look away. “Um, he’s not very gentle but I… I don’t mind.” His father didn’t need to know any details. “And Mariku is, he’s dominating, yes, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

The answer wasn’t satisfactory. “It’s not about whether or not you can  _handle_ it, Ryou, it’s-”

“Father, please!” Ryou surprised them both by raising his voice. “You don’t understand him and you know nothing about us. You have to trust my judgment this once.”

“Son, you’re a child. You don’t know how these things work. I just want to protect you.”

Ryou rose from his chair. The chair legs screeched against the floor and his hair fell on his face. Ryou’s voice was muffled with tears and anger. “You’ve done a great job so far.”

He left the kitchen and run upstairs to his room. Ryou decided to shower and change, and stay behind a locked door until it was time to meet up with Mariku.

xxx

There were people in the lobby of the movie theater. Not enough to form a crowd; one could spread out his arms at any given moment without hitting anyone. Ryou looked around, realizing it had been a while since he had last been to the movies. He hadn’t felt like going alone, back in the day. Now that he had someone with him, he wasn’t sure if Mariku was part of the reason he felt nervous.

Ryou quit studying the moviegoers and took a look at Mariku. He had a scowl on his face, his jaw clenching and relaxing again. It wasn’t the usual permanent frown; Mariku was agitated. Ryou took his hand, smiling when the other turned his frown on him. The scowl faded away faster than the smile did and Mariku gave Ryou’s hand a squeeze.

They didn’t have to wait for long until they were let in to take their seats.

As it turned out, the wait was more interesting than the movie. Ryou tried to see Mariku in the glare of the screen and from what he could make out, he had stopped paying attention after the opening credits. It made Ryou wonder why Mariku had offered to come if he wasn’t interested. Too deep in thought, Ryou missed most of what was going on. It did occur to him halfway through the movie, that Mariku had done quite a few selfless deeds in the past couple of days. There was nothing Mariku could gain from coming to see a boring flick with him, was there?

Ryou decided to pay close attention to the ending. The only reason he could think of for Mariku bringing him there, was that he wanted to do something nice for him. For that reason alone, Ryou would enjoy the moment as much as he could.

xxx

Mariku was walking beside him, heading for the doors and to the night air. There seemed to be more people in the lobby than before, or were they just making more noise, Ryou couldn’t tell.

A group of people, around his age, were talking near the movie theater doors. Once in a while, one of them glanced his way. Ryou didn’t think he had ever met them but then again, he wasn’t the most attentive of people. Perhaps they went to the same school.

Ryou tried not to make it too obvious he had noticed them. After taking another careful look at the group, Ryou glanced at Mariku. Their eyes met and Ryou froze.

“Does it bother you?” Mariku asked, tilting his head to one side, eyes narrowing. The accuracy startled Ryou dumb. He should be used to it by now.

“Does w-what?”

“Stay here.”

A realization hit Ryou when Mariku left him and approached the people huddled together near the exit. Mariku had calmed down around  him but towards others, he could be as cruel as ever. Ryou took a couple of fast steps, taking hold of Mariku’s arm. “Please, just leave it alone.” 

Mariku glanced at Ryou without turning to face him and pulled his arm free. “Stay.”

“But…” Ryou wanted to protest further, to go and stop a disaster but his feet refused to move. It made him angry. “I’m not a dog,” he muttered.

The anger was replaced with worry when he saw the group’s reaction. A couple of them had stepped forward in defiance but the fight faltered when Mariku stopped before them. Ryou guessed something was said. Mariku had his back towards him and Ryou couldn’t make out any words from where he stood. The people, who had stepped up, paled and backed closer to the group. Ryou felt helpless as Mariku turned on his heel, a satisfied grin twisting his face. He came over and guided Ryou out with a hand placed on his lower back.

“Let’s go.”

Ryou couldn’t tell Mariku about the fight with his father. It was a family matter. Mariku would do something about it if he knew.

“What is it now, Ryou?”

The voice made Ryou jump. Was he this easy to read?

“It’s nothing.” He regretted the words once they were out. Since when had he lied to Mariku?

Their walk down the street halted when Mariku grabbed Ryou’s arm and turned them face to face. “Haven’t I told you not to lie to me? What is it?” 

“I-I just…”

“Tell me.”

The grip on his arm was next to painful but as Ryou studied Mariku, he noticed that it wasn’t anger distorting Mariku’s features. He couldn’t look away.

“My father saw the bruises. We had a fight.” Spilling wasn’t difficult. Ryou felt a hand on his other arm and the hold grew gentler.

“So dear old dad doesn’t think I’m treating you with the gentle care you deserve,” Mariku remarked and Ryou found himself smiling. “What do you think?” Mariku went on, more serious.

“I really don’t mind.”

The other outmatched Ryou’s smile with a grin. “I figured as much from the sounds you make.”

Ryou recognized the grin and the purr that accompanied it. Despite how his pulse quickened, he knew he had to go home tonight. He didn’t want the tension between his father and him rising any higher than it had.

“I need to get home.” The mood broke and the cold night air came rushing back. Mariku let go.

“I’ll drive you.”

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Ryou dismounted the motorbike, hoping that Mariku wouldn’t ask to come with him. If he did, Ryou knew he would let him but he didn’t need anyone to make the situation at home worse. It was difficult enough and he didn’t feel like apologizing. Sure his words had been harsh; he hadn’t known he could say such things to his father’s face, but he had been in the right. Hadn’t he? 

“Um,” Ryou turned his stare from the front door to his companion. “I had fun, thank you.” The words sounded hollow; he was never formal with Mariku. His thoughts were on what to say to his father. 

Mariku tilted his head, relaxing against the bike. “You didn’t pay attention to the movie,” he stated and a mockery of a smile lifted his lips. “When exactly did you have fun?” 

Ryou faltered. He kept his mouth shut until the stammering didn’t threaten him anymore. Defensive, he frowned. “You didn’t either and-and I…” He glanced at the front door again. “Of course I liked being with you.” 

With a shake of his head, Mariku let the smile drop. “Go to your father,” was all he had to say. Ryou had expected him to snap at how vague and inattentive Ryou was being. They exchanged looks before Mariku got ready to leave, revving the engine. 

“I’ll call you,” Ryou whispered at Mariku’s back. Things hadn’t gone the way he would have liked but at least there had been no possessive fit of anger. An angry father was nothing compared to an angry Mariku. 

The house was silent when Ryou entered. His father rarely listened to music or watched television. Now that Ryou thought of it, he realized that he didn’t know what kind of music his father liked, if any kind. He had never bothered to ask. The neglect was mutual, it seemed. With that knowledge, the need to make things right increased.

The living room light shone through to the hall. Ryou followed it and found his father seated on the couch, elbows leaning on knees and with a troubled expression on his face. The man looked up when Ryou entered the room. The wrinkles on his forehead smoothed out a little as their eyes met. 

“Son.”

Ryou tried to smile. “Hi, dad.” 

There was a moment of silence, both searching for words that could relieve some of the tension. Ryou was the first to speak. “This morning, I…” he glanced at his socked feet to gather his thoughts again, “What I said was a low blow, I shouldn’t have.” The words ‘I’m sorry’ refused to pass his lips. 

“Don’t apologize,” the man said despite how Ryou hadn’t. “You were right; I haven’t been the greatest dad.” He patted the space next to him, as though just realizing that Ryou was still standing on the other side of the room. Ryou hesitated before moving to sit with his father. 

After a moment of staring at his hands, his father spoke. Ryou was grateful; he wouldn’t have known what to say. “I know we haven’t spent much time together since your mother and… you know.” He looked up from his hands to face his son. Ryou nodded in understanding, though they hadn’t been tight before the incident either. “So, I’ve arranged it so that I can come home a bit earlier tomorrow,” his father continued, smiling just a touch, “I thought we could use some father-son time.” 

Ryou needed time to gather his wits, and to wipe the disbelief from his face. “Oh.” The hopeful look on his father’s face told that he should smile and act excited before he ruined the moment. “That sounds great. What did you have in mind?” Of course the other would have everything planned, just waiting for Ryou to ask what the proper father-son activity was. Ryou wasn’t sure why he couldn’t bring himself to be genuinely pleased. Maybe it had something to do how his opinion was never asked. Wasn’t ‘father-son time’ what he had wanted? 

“Well, I thought we’d go out to have dinner and have a nice talk.” 

The last ‘nice talk’ they had had played out in Ryou’s mind as he forced his smile to stay intact. “Sounds great, dad.” 

The man smiled. “Great.” 

xxx

After a night of slipping in and out of sleep, Mariku wasn’t in the best of moods. The small incident at the movie theater had stirred up something in him. It made him restless. Ryou calmed him down, and he cherished that calm, but Ryou couldn’t always be there to stop him from brooding. 

The alarm clock on the floor next to his makeshift bed told that it was late afternoon. He had tried napping for a couple of hours but now his stomach complained that it was high time to get up. The fridge in the kitchenette stood cold and empty, a sign that he had paid his electricity bill but forgot to go grocery shopping. Deciding that walking would do him good, Mariku grabbed his keys and headed downtown. 

Emerging from between the rundown apartment buildings to the busy street was like stepping into another world. The main streets were wide and well taken care of, surrounded with graffiti-free white walls and clean windows. For a passing moment, Mariku felt out of place. The feeling was quickly overridden. He merged with the rest of the crowd, though not without effort; he was always noticed; but with the grace of one who had once been part of the hustle. He never regretted leaving his father’s house, though at times he missed having a future. 

“Mariku!”

He stopped so suddenly that the person walking behind him almost ran into his back. He paid no mind to the nasty look he received, his attention focused on the one dodging people to get to him. Ryou.

“Hey.” Ryou smiled, fingering the handle of his schoolbag. “I didn’t expect to run into you here,” he trailed off and his face twisted into a frown. “Are you alright?” 

At the question, Mariku glanced at his reflection on the café window they stood next to. He relaxed his shoulders and rubbed the wrinkles formed between his eyebrows, wondering why he hadn’t noticed how agitated he looked. “I guess I could be feeling better.” His stomach growled. “And I’m hungry.” 

Ryou dared to smile again. “If hunger is your main concern, I think I can help you.” When Ryou reached out to touch his arm, Mariku found that he no longer needed to will himself to relax. “I can make you something.” 

Mariku raised his brow, the corner of his mouth twisting up. “What’s the occasion?” 

“Well, I…” Ryou let his hand drop and looked away. His eyes trailed Mariku’s collar. “I was going to invite you over anyway since last night didn’t go so well, and um, I need to talk to you.”

“About?” 

“I’m having dinner and ‘nice talk’ with my dad.”

This seemed like the kind of moment when one just said “I see” and moved on. Mariku didn’t see the problem. He had been under the impression that Ryou wanted attention from his old man. The street wasn’t the ideal place for a deep and meaningful conversation, though, so he let the subject slip away for the time being. The small corner store and all its reasonably priced foodstuffs were calling out to him. 

“You head home and get things started. I won’t take long.”

Ryou didn’t look thrilled despite how his mouth formed a smile and he nodded. Mariku didn’t bother with a reminder on how he hated the forced cheerfulness. 

xxx

Ryou heard the motorbike through the open kitchen window, and soon, the doorbell rang. 

“It’s open!” 

There was a rustle of clothes followed by footfalls against the hallway carpet. Everything was just about done. Mariku had taken longer to arrive than he had expected and Ryou had picked something easy to prepare so he wouldn’t have to wait forever. Ryou hadn’t liked the look on Mariku’s face. If food would help the expression to go away…

“Isn’t it risky to leave the door open like that?”

Hands settled on his hips. For a second, he was torn between jerking forward out of surprise and leaning back. He should have heard Mariku coming.

“Anyone could walk in and their intentions might not be good.” Mariku’s tone was light and Ryou let himself relax. 

“I’m sure I’d manage, armed with a spatula and all.” He felt breath hit the top of his head as Mariku chuckled. “You’re in a better mood.” 

“You light up my life.” 

Frowning at the flat statement, Ryou turned off the stove before he got carried away and burned the food. “I didn’t last night.” From now on, he would look at Mariku before jumping to any conclusions about his mood, affectionate gestures or no. 

“That had nothing to do with you.” Mariku loosened his hold and coaxed Ryou to turn around to face him. “I wasn’t upset with you. If anything, you make me feel better.” 

Ryou watched Mariku’s face carefully, giving a slow nod. It wasn’t often Mariku talked about the way he felt and he never looked comfortable while doing it. This time was no different, there was a healthy dose of anger behind the half lidded eyes but Ryou knew not to take it too personally. Anger was such a steady part of Mariku’s emotional scale that no emotion could be expressed without it. The thought brought a small smile on Ryou’s face; a strange person he had fallen for. 

The smile didn’t go unnoticed. Mariku tilted his head, his fingers touching Ryou’s cheek. “What?” Despite the question, Ryou got the feeling that Mariku had recognized the nature of the smile. In response, Mariku’s mouth started to tilt upwards but Ryou couldn’t read the look in his eyes. It worried him a little.

“If I remember correctly, I didn’t kiss you good night.”

A flash of teeth was all Ryou saw when Mariku grinned before covering his mouth with his own. He couldn’t determine what kind of a grin it was. Predatory was his best guess as the corner of the stove dug into his back. The hold on his head grew close to painful. Alarm bells went off in the back of his mind. Having nowhere to back off to, Ryou gave the other a shove hard enough to get the message through. Mariku didn’t look pleased. 

The expression Ryou came face to face with made him flinch. “Um, I don’t know when my dad will be here and the food’s getting cold.” There was no strength in his voice and the reasoning had no effect so he added, “You’re holding me too tight, so please.” 

“Oh.” Mariku backed off, glancing at the food behind Ryou, as though to avoid looking at him. “Sorry.” 

Unsure how to react to the apology, he hadn’t been expecting one, Ryou turned both of their attention on something else. “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get you a plateful?” He launched into action while he spoke, reaching for the cupboard above the sink. He heard the chair legs moving against the floor and a frustrated sigh as Mariku took a seat. Something was not right. It couldn’t be the hunger alone, even though he dug into his food with the appropriate amount of enthusiasm. 

When Ryou took a seat on the opposite side of the table, Mariku glanced up at him, slowing down the pace of his shoveling. “You’re not eating.”

“I’m having dinner with my father later, so…”

Mariku nodded and finished his plate with a couple of mouthfuls. “That’s what you wanted to talk about.”

“Yeah, kind of,” Ryou admitted. Whatever ailing Mariku felt much more important. “Would you like some more?” He reached out for the plate, and when there was no objection, went to refill it. Aware of the eyes watching him, Ryou sat back down after finishing his task. He knew what kind of a searching, calculating look those eyes had but couldn’t help looking up at them. Ryou felt like he was the one caught staring. “Um…” 

The eyes narrowed.

“This isn’t about your father, is it?”

Trust Mariku to know how to make a truth out of a question. Ryou wanted to look away but found he was trapped with no other way out than to confirm Mariku’s suspicions. 

“N-no, I mean, not anymore.” He dared to blink. “I think there’s something wrong with you.”

Mariku grinned. “There are a lot of things wrong with me.”

“Yes, but that’s not what I meant.” 

The sound of a key turning in the lock interrupted their staring match. For once, Ryou wasn’t pleased that his father chose to come home early. He had expected it but right now, the distraction offered Mariku an easy way out. 

“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” Mariku said as he moved past Ryou, giving the man who had just entered a nod. “Mr. Bakura.” His father said something in return but Ryou was no longer paying attention. The floorboards had never looked so dull. He had been brushed aside.

“Ryou?” 

He faced his father, struggling to smile to ease the concern written on the older features. “I’m ready to go after doing the dishes.” 

The worry didn’t leave. “Are you sure you’re still up for it? We could stay here if you like.” 

“I’d rather go out.” The last thing he wanted was to stay in and dwell on his failure. He could try and deal with his emotions later. “I need to get my mind off of things, you know.” As the hot water started running, he hoped his father got the hint; he didn’t want to talk about it, not now. It was too easy for Mariku to bring him down. 

“If you’re sure.” His father hesitated at the door. “I’ll just… go change.” 

“Ok.” When his father left, Ryou noticed that he was washing the same plate over and over again. 

xxx

Ryou was surprised to find the place his father took him to familiar. He had been there with Mariku, back when they had needed to make up. They had only argued since then, and now that he thought of it, that was an achievement. Ryou had to remind himself that he was here to avoid thinking about Mariku, not to space out. His father’s insistent couching helped. 

“You look thoughtful.” 

“Oh, um, I’ve been here before.” Avoiding the subject, Ryou asked, “Do you know what you’ll have?” 

His father frowned at his menu. “Not quite.” 

Concentrating on his list of food, Ryou tried to remember what he had eaten the last time and if he had liked it. Mariku had picked it for him. His frown was a near copy of his father’s. Scanning the page until he found a section he was sure Mariku hadn’t ordered from, he set to find something  he wanted to eat. 

Their table was located near the windows looking over the street. Downhill was the harbor. It was surprising that they were so close to it; his father didn’t even visit the graves. In order to have a nice evening, he couldn’t bring up the subject. He knew then how things were bound to go. They would keep to safe conversation topics, careful not to touch any ill-healed scars. The evening would be pointless and boring. 

Ryou glanced at his father who was looking around for a waiter. He could suffer through some boredom if it meant they would be ok again. Things had never been perfect but maybe agreeable was enough. 

After ordering, Ryou decided to save his father from starting a conversation. “So. How’s work? You hadn’t said anything about it in a while.”

The man smiled. “You’re never there to talk to anymore.”

Translation, Ryou thought, biting his lip to refrain from shooting anything back, ‘You’re always with  _him_ ’. 

“But it’s been alright.” His eyes lit up at a memory. “Oh, there was this one incident…”

Ryou listened as the man went on with his story, finding that smiling and nodding at the right places brought a sense of stability. Being boring wasn’t such a bad thing. He could predict the events ahead of him now; a luxury he never had with Mariku. Boring was safe, and the restaurant was meant for forgiving.

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Just wanted to bring this original edited ffnet author's note here because it's important for my fic writing history reasons:  
> A/N: I started this fic in 2007 and the last update was 2009. Now, in 2013, I'm writing this again.  
> Not sure where younger me was going with this, though. The scene between Mariku and Ryou was written sometime years ago, everything else is recent. (edited a/n, for prosperity, on chapter 22 of Hello?)

The meal with his father had cleared the air. Things weren't perfect but the Bakura household no longer felt combustible. Ryou smiled at his father easier that morning at breakfast than he remembered doing since the man had come back from his work related journey.

To make his mood even better, Ryou had been woken up by a message from Yuugi, asking to hang out. Ryou supposed the rest of the gang would also be present and a trip to the arcade was just what he needed. Not that he was avoiding thinking about or contacting Mariku or anything. Sure he had gotten the cold shoulder the last time but...

No. Ryou shook his head on the way out to clear it. He would go out and have some fun.

The walk to the busier part of town didn't take long. It looked like people had just poured out of their dwellings and into the streets, enjoying the sun and the weekend. For a brief moment, Ryou mourned that he would be spending the next couple of hours indoors. Maybe he could talk his friends into doing something more outdoorsy once they had their fill of glowing screens.

"Ryou!" someone called out his name over the crowd. He looked up to find Jounouchi waving at him, standing near a sign that declared "Games for all ages!!" in bright neon. Ryou smiled at him while dodging a group of what looked like tourists.

"Everyone else's already in, come on," Jounouchi declared, waving both of them inside.

Later, when they were done with the games, Ryou found Yuugi sitting on a couch near the back waiting for Jounouchi and Honda to finish their last match with Anzu watching. He took a seat next to the shorter boy.

Yuugi smiled up at him, "Hey, all done?"

Ryou nodded, eyes on the rest of the group.

"Um, I've been meaning to ask you," Yuugi started, gaining Ryou's full attention. "How are things? With everything. It's been a while since, well, since the party and all, so..."

From the hesitation, Ryou could guess what Yuugi meant. The subject brought his mood down a couple notches.

"My dad's fine, and things with Mariku are," he paused, looking away for a second. Yuugi was his friend and the only one he felt like he could talk to about Mariku issues. "Not bad, but. I think we may have had an argument?"

Yuugi gave him a confused look. "You mean you don't know?"

"Well, I. No, it wasn't a fight or anything but he just kind of... left." Ryou winced at how that had sounded. "Not left, left but, um." He gave up, shoulders slumping. "I don't know."

"I don't know the context so it's a bit difficult for me to," Yuugi trailed off.

So Ryou told him. About the movie theater with the group Mariku had taken issue with, about the dinner with his father, about running into Mariku on the street and offering him food. And about how after, Mariku had just left, leaving him confused and lonely.

Yuugi listened, the wrinkle between his eyebrows getting deeper with each sentence. Despite his friend's severe expression, Ryou felt better getting everything off his chest.

"I'm not sure how to put this," Yuugi spoke after a lengthy silence, "but it seems to me that you should just go tell him how you feel."

Ryou stared. How does one respond to brilliant advise like that? By rolling their eyes?

"He just brushed you off and it sounds like he does that, some," Yuugi continued, having noticed Ryou's expression. "Look, I'm really bad at this."

"No!" Ryou got his newly formed sarcastic side in check and felt bad about almost sassing his friend who was only trying to help. "You're not, really, I just..." He didn't know. Yuugi was right, of course; he couldn't ignore the problem. Mariku didn't want to talk it out, or wasn't ready to, so Ryou would have to learn to take the initiative. It wasn't something he felt comfortable with but he hadn't felt at ease about talking to Yuugi, either. Yet, the conversation had done more good than harm.

Ryou smiled and it reached all the way to his eyes. "You're right, thank you for listening." At that moment, they were interrupted by the remaining three and Ryou got his chance to lure them out into the sunny afternoon.

xxx

There had been no yelling, no spiteful comments or even nasty looks exchanged. Though sometimes, this time, saying nothing had been worse than mean words.

And that was why he was there, facing Mariku’s door and gathering up the courage to knock. He wouldn’t be ignored again.

Something had come undone inside him while out with Yuugi and company. It wasn’t ok to turn cold towards the one you claimed to care about whenever it suited you. He could understand that it was all new and difficult for Mariku. They had both been alone for so long, neither of them was a relationship expert. But that didn’t mean one of them had to sit back and take everything thrown at him. Mariku didn’t take kindly to backtalk or any kind of “rebellion”. Telling him what he did wrong was neither of those, was it? If Ryou handled this calmly maybe his controlling companion would listen to him, instead of blowing up.

His hand, raised to knock, was starting to feel numb so he brought his knuckles down two times. The sound was weak and hesitant. A few soft footfalls later Mariku was peering at him from behind the chain. Surprise flashed in his eye before he face went back to its normal, expressionless state.

“Ryou?”

Ryou stopped the fake smile just in time. “Hi.” He glanced at his feet to get a break from the intense stare. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

The door shut and Ryou could hear the rattling of the chain. He should have planned his speech in advance. Now that he was there, facing Mariku, it felt like a better idea to just give in and let the other take control. Ryou knew where that would lead. He would be stuck in the same position for who knows how long, until he just got used to it.

Mariku opened the door, letting him in. Ryou sat on the worn-down couch but Mariku remained standing, observing him. The look made Ryou nervous; it was hard not to fidget. After what felt like a small eternity, Mariku turned his eyes away.

“I’m sorry about yesterday.”

The apology was spoken so softly that Ryou almost missed it. “What?” Mariku gave him a quick glare. “I mean, I forgive you?” Ryou didn’t know how to react. This wasn’t what he had been expecting. “I mean…” His eyes trailed the floor and walls, looking for a way out of the confusion.

“Don’t look so surprised.”

Ryou’s attention snapped back to Mariku who looked amused, a smirk playing on his lips. “I know you came here for that.”

“Well, yes, I did.” He hadn’t come for an apology but if Mariku knew he had done something wrong, he would avoid doing it again. No use lecturing about it. Right? “What… what was that about, anyway? I mean, yesterday.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Ryou could tell Mariku tried to keep his tone light as he sat next to Ryou on the couch. He wasn’t sure he wanted to pursue a subject Mariku wanted to avoid. “Oh.”

“I wasn’t mad at you.”

That was good to know. “Ok.” An uneasy silence hung in the air. Ryou knew that since he was the one who had come, wanting to talk, he should break it. They had reached a stand-still and he wasn't good at dealing with situations like that. Unless he brought up what he was here for, he had nothing to say.

“You look distressed.” Mariku had been looking at him without him noticing for a while. Ryou found it difficult to look him in the eye but couldn’t look away.

“I don’t know what to do now,” he admitted quietly. “I wanted to talk to you about something but since you apologized, I don’t know if I need to, so…”

Mariku frowned. “I hurt you more than I thought.”

“I was upset that you just brushed me off.” Ryou heard irritation in his voice. Mariku could be so thick sometimes. He paused to take a breath, not wanting to get angry. “I know you’re trying and I appreciate it, really, I do. But it’s so easy for you to hurt me, and you don’t even notice.” Ryou wished he could read Mariku’s expression; a blank mask covered his face as he sunk into thought. Ryou didn’t know what was going through Mariku’s mind. At least he didn’t look angry, at himself or at Ryou. Mariku never hid his anger.

“I suppose you’re right.” He sounded calm, and Ryou breathed a small sigh of relief. The thing he had wanted to bring up was up. It hadn’t been as painful as he had feared. Not expecting it, he jumped a little when Mariku touched his cheek. He had gotten lost in thought himself.

“I should keep trying.” Mariku’s thumb traced Ryou’s lips, causing a pleasant shiver to travel through him. It wasn’t a disagreeable idea to let the gentle touch become more. The thought made his face warm and he wondered if he would ever stop having that reaction when it came to thoughts about their physical relationship.

Mariku noticed, of course he did, and asked, “What are you thinking?”

Ryou suspected that he already knew. “I’m thinking, what’s taking you so long to kiss me.” His eyes became half lidded when Mariku’s hand moved behind his neck to pull him closer.

“You’re not upset with me anymore, then.”

Ryou smiled, “No”, and helped close the gap between them. In the back of his mind, Ryou wondered if he had given in too easily. It wouldn’t be the first time, or the last.

xxx

Later that night, when Ryou returned home, he was pleasantly sore and peppered with bruises. He hoped he wouldn't run into his father too soon. Despite the cleared air, he didn't feel too keen on having a discussion about his sex life. For the first time in a long time, everything was fine and he didn't want to risk ruining that.

Of course, as luck would have it, his father was up waiting for him. They stared at each other when Ryou passed the kitchen on the way to his room. The older man wore a worried frown that deepened the longer they said nothing to each other. Ryou considered ignoring it and going straight to his room but not communicating had gotten him into the mess that had been his life in the first place.

"Hi, dad," Ryou said, stopping to lean on the door frame. The leaning was more Mariku's move than his and he soon grew uncomfortable, shifting on his feet. "I know I should have called."

His father nodded, both in greeting and acknowledgment. "Were you with Yuugi this late?"

"No, I went to see Mariku after."

"Alright."

Neither said anything after that. Soon, Ryou left for his room.

xxx

Mariku's paycheck had arrived. He hadn't been paying much attention to his work and the nights in the club just blurred together in his mind. But it was more money than he had made working at the seedy little bar.

There was an apartment, a couple blocks over, that he had been eyeing. It was in a better neighborhood, and with that came a higher rent, but if he kept the amount of income he had now, he could afford it. A new apartment was what he needed, no doubt, as the pipes in the bathroom had started leaking. Ryou couldn't use a leaky bathroom.

The thought of Ryou made Mariku grin wider at his paycheck. A new place could be what their relationship needed right now, too.

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone still reading this: these last two chapters are a bit different from the ones I posted on ffnet, originally. Roughly the same stuff happens, I just fiddled with some flow/characterization stuff.

Ryou and his father were sitting at the breakfast table. The quiet Sunday morning was broken by beeps from Ryou's phone. It was a message from Mariku but he didn't do anything about it under the curious eyes of his father. The relationship was still an awkward topic.

"Is that, um, " his father started , eyes flicking between his coffee and his son. "Is it your boyfriend?"

The question and wording gave Ryou pause. His father hadn't referred to Mariku as his boyfriend before. He knew that was what they were, boyfriends, but hearing it coming from his father was somehow jarring. It was the way the man sounded so awkward about the term.

"Yeah," Ryou replied.

"You know, I'd like, I mean if you're serious-"

"If?" Ryou wasn't able to keep the annoyance out of his voice. He had put so much of himself into the relationship already. How could he not be serious? Everything to do with Mariku was serious. Except in the relaxed, quiet moments when it was just the two of them. Ryou fought not to show anything on his face and it was battle hard won.

"Are you?" his father asked, hesitant.

"I'm pretty invested, yes."

"Well, I'd like to get to know him, in that case. You've been seeing each other for a while now and I've only talked to him a couple of times."

No. "Oh?" He didn't want Mariku around his father. True, the last time they had spoken hadn't been a disaster but that didn't mean this time would go well. There had been more witnesses, at his birthday party.

"Why don't you invite him over for dinner tonight?" his father suggested, unknowing of the internal struggle Ryou was going through.

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea." His father looked like he expected Ryou to continue with some clever reasoning but Ryou had nothing he wanted to voice. How was he supposed to tell his dad, who was already worried, that his boyfriend had a volatile temper that, once provoked, could mean real danger to the people around him.

"Ask him, see what he thinks. I promise I'll try not to be too embarrassing." Ryou's father smiled. "We can get takeout so you don't have to cook and have a nice evening in, just the three of us."

Oh great, his father was trying to be supportive. Ryou wished the problem was that he was afraid of getting embarrassed by his dad. If only his life were that simple. Realistically, Mariku had proven to be a lot more reasonable and less likely to explode than Ryou had assumed in the past. Whenever Ryou had gathered up the courage to ask Mariku to behave, he had, more or less. But then, his father had a history of asking inappropriate questions. And Mariku had history of not taking kindly to anyone he perceived as asking too many questions.

In the end, Ryou would just have to hope Mariku was busy. "Sure," he forced a smile. "I'll ask him. Around six maybe?"

And that was it. Their evening plans made as far as his father was concerned, Ryou was free to dread the future and excuse himself.

It couldn't go well. Mariku's temper would flare and they would all argue and the house would catch on fire and they would never speak to each other again. And also be homeless. Ryou wondered if Yuugi would let him sleep on his couch.

Despite his future predictions, Ryou located Mariku's contact information on his phone and hit call. It only took a couple of rings for Mariku to pick up.

"Hello."

"My dad wants you to come to dinner," Ryou blurted out.

"Does he." Mariku didn't sound thrilled, which was probably a good thing; more of a chance of him saying no.

"Yeah, tonight, six-ish. He says he wants to get to know you." Ryou was satisfied with being the only one who got to know Mariku.

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"That's what I said!" Ryou exclaimed, relieved. "But it's not like he listens to me once he sets his mind on something."

"I don't have plans, though. In fact, I wanted to see if we could get together."

The way Mariku's deeper tones curled around the words made Ryou feel a bit too warm in his comfy sweater. "Um."

"But I guess if we're having dinner with your dad, that's off the table."

"Wait. You mean you want to?" Ryou asked, incredulous.

"It'll probably get him off our backs. What, worried I can't handle myself?"

Yes. "No! I mean, I just thought you wouldn't be interested."

"I'm not. But I can act civil for one night if it means less trouble for us in the future."

"Uh."

"I'll see you tonight." Mariku hung up.

xxx

Mariku arrived five minutes past six. He hung up his coat while Ryou hovered next to him, nervous. Ryou didn't know how to act with his father standing by the kitchen doorway but Mariku took the decision from him with a finger under his chin and a kiss. It was a brief contact of lips that made his father shift uncomfortably in the background.

"Hey," Mariku said after they parted. He was wearing a dark button up that made Ryou want to touch. So he did, smoothing out an imaginary wrinkle. This was his attractive boyfriend, he was allowed.

"Hi. You look nice." Mariku had clearly put some effort into being presentable. It put Ryou a bit more at ease.

"Thanks."

"Why don't you come to the table before the food gets cold?" Ryou's father called and they followed him to the kitchen.

Ryou had made the table as nice as he could with takeout boxes and plates. He had needed something to do with his hands while waiting for Mariku to arrive. It was almost a real table setting, with folded napkins and everything. He sat next to Mariku who took the seat opposite Ryou's father. The man handed out containers with a smile while Ryou fidgeted on his seat.

Everyone focused on their food for the first couple of minutes, just enough time for Ryou to hope that no one would start a conversation.

His father broke the silence, "So, Mariku, I'm glad you could join us tonight."

Ryou watched from the corner of his eye as Mariku's mouth turned up in something that didn't reach his eyes.

"I'm glad to be here." He wasn't. "We haven't really had an opportunity to spend time together, all of us."

Staying out of the conversation for now felt like the best course of action. He would jump in if things started looking tense. Mariku seemed to be acting the part of wanting to get to know his father well enough. To Ryou, who knew how to read him, it was obvious that he would rather be anywhere else.

"Hm, yes. I feel like I need to keep better track of what's going on in my son's life. You came practically out of nowhere!" his father forced a laugh.

Mariku's face darkened and Ryou kept a careful eye on him. "I was under the impression that you knew we were talking."

"Yes, but you went from complete strangers to," he gestured between them, obvious to Mariku's annoyance.

"That is generally how it works," Mariku stated, sarcasm bleeding through.

"All I'm saying is I would've liked to be kept in the loop." The father closed his eyes with a sigh. "But I didn't invite you over to lecture about that. How do you like the food?"

To Ryou's relief, Mariku accepted to change of subject. "It's good. Is it from the place down the street?"

"Yes, it's one my favorites."

He breathed a little easier as the conversation moved from the food to Mariku's job to motorized vehicles. His father seemed to be enjoying himself and Mariku didn't look too bored. Of course that didn't last.

"What about your parents? Do they live in Japan?"

Ryou sat up straight. He knew from personal experience that family was a sore subject.

Mariku put his utensils down and crossed his fingers, face neutral. It was the careful kind of neutral where Mariku wanted to shut down the conversation but stopped himself. "The last I checked, yes. We don't really talk."

His father frowned, oblivious. "That's too bad. Did you have a falling out?"

Mariku's eye twitched. Ryou placed a gentle hand on his knee that distracted him for a second. The second was enough time for Mariku to pull the reigns on his temper. "I had an argument with my father."

"An argument doesn't sound bad enough to justify complete silence."

Mariku's smile was sharp and dangerous. "It was a very bad argument."

Ryou's father must have felt the tension in the air, at last, as his eyes widened and he closed his mouth before pursuing the topic further. He looked torn between keeping his eyes on Mariku and looking over at Ryou for help.

Mariku was still, smile showing a hint of teeth. The moment stretched, Ryou could see the tension in Mariku's arms, the effort it took for him to not lash out. He gave Mariku's knee a squeeze.

"Well, I think it's time we brought out dessert," Ryou said, getting up. "Dad, get us some bowls from the cupboard?"

He snapped to attention. "Ah, yes, of course."

After, Ryou took charge of the conversation, with his father choosing his words, glancing between the two. Mariku looked more and more placated with every sweet bite and Ryou kept touching him, getting his attention away from his dad. Casual touches, a hand on shoulder, pat on the leg. It seemed to work.

"It's getting late. I'm going to turn in," his father said, moving his dishes to the sink. "Ryou, you have school tomorrow so don't stay up too late. It was nice to have you, Mariku." With that, the man fled for the stairs and his bedroom. Ryou had been sure that after the near breakdown during the conversation, his dad wouldn't leave him alone with Mariku. But what did he know?

"That wasn't a complete disaster." He smiled at Mariku who still sat next to him, looking calm.

"Did you expect it to be?"

"Er, kind of?" Ryou admitted, sheepish. "I'm glad it went so well, of course, but I was expecting you to be more confrontational."

Mariku didn't look bothered by the admission, like the food had mellowed him out. Or maybe it had been the easy affection. "I didn't come here to cause trouble for you. As much as I find your father to be vapid and dull, he's still an important figure in your life. I want to be one, too, and fighting with him would be detrimental to that."

The matter-of-fact way Mariku spoke took Ryou back a little. It was sweet, once he looked past the bluntness of expression. He looked down, shy all of a sudden. "You are important."

"Good. Want some help with the dishes?" Mariku offered.

They got to work. It took about half the time it would have taken Ryou by himself and forced Mariku to roll up his sleeves. Ryou kept getting distracted by his forearms, by how he knew they could just pick him up like he weighted nothing. By the time they were done, he felt flustered and exhausted. The dinner had been an emotional rollercoaster.

Before leaving, Mariku pulled Ryou into a kiss. It wasn't as brief or sweet as the one from earlier and Ryou was glad his father wasn't there to witness it.

"I wish you could come with me," Mariku said, still close. Ryou wished it, too.

"I need to get up early tomorrow."

"I know," he pulled back to look Ryou in the eye. "Maybe you should leave some stuff at my place, for future occasions."

It didn't register with Ryou at first, due to a mix of sleepiness and hormones. "Stuff?" he whispered.

"A change of clothes and the like."

"Oh." It felt like a huge step, suddenly. "I'll think about it." He was numb to the next kiss and before he realized it, Mariku was gone and he was standing there alone.

It was a big step, right? He didn't know, he had never been in a relationship before. Maybe he was overreacting. Mariku had said it like it wasn't a huge deal, just 'by the way you should leave clothes at my place'. Who could he even ask? Would Yuugi know? He didn't feel comfortable bringing it up with his dad.

The thoughts kept Ryou awake well into the night.

xxx

After school, Ryou texted Yuugi to see if he was free and headed over to the game shop. He greeted Yuugi's grandpa on the way upstairs.

"Hey," Yuugi said from among what looked like a million puzzle pieces. "I hope you don't mind that Jounouchi is coming over, too."

Ryou put his bag down, sitting on a spot with less pieces. "To help with this?" He gestured all over.

"No way," Yuugi grinned. "He doesn't have the patience. I thought I'd be done by now but like half of this is blue sky."

Now that Ryou paid attention, the pieces surrounding him looked similar. "So how can you tell what goes where?"

"I just gotta look at the shape." Yuugi picked up a couple and placed them near each other. He looked frustrated. If Jounouchi was coming, Ryou had a limited window of opportunity to ask for advice. He didn't want to make it seem like he had only come here to talk about his relationship; he did want to spend time with Yuugi. Hanging out with Yuugi was simple and that was what he needed.

"So um, I was wondering if you could help me figure something out," he began.

Yuugi looked up from his work. "I can try. What is it?"

"Yesterday, when Mariku was having dinner with my dad and me, he asked me to leave a change of clothes and stuff to his place. I feel like it's a big deal but maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion?" Ryou wasn't quite looking at Yuugi by the end of his explanation-turned-question.

"Ok, first off," Yuugi started, putting down the pieces he had been sorting. "Mariku had dinner with your dad? How'd that go?" he asked.

"Better than I expected it to go," Ryou shrugged. Mariku had made a real effort, and Ryou was more grateful than he was ready to admit.

"So no one died?"

Ryou glanced up to see if the question was serious or not and was relieved to find Yuugi grinning back at him. "No casualties this time."

"Good. But about the question..." Yuugi frowned in thought. "I can't speak from experience, but I think that if you feel like it's a big deal, it is," he said. "I mean, I leave my things at my friends' for sleepovers because it's more convenient than bringing a bag every time but I guess that's not the same thing?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I feel like this isn't helpful, sorry."

"No, it's fine, really," Ryou hurried to reassure. "This is probably one of those things where I need to listen to my heart, anyway." He had told Mariku that he would think about it. All he needed to do was keep thinking about it until it felt right. Maybe this was what their relationship needed. Things had been kind of tense, with their "fight" just recently. Taking some of his stuff to Mariku's would make them more connected and give them more time together. He could try it with some underwear and a toothbrush and see how it felt.

"To be honest, I'd be freaked out too if Mariku wanted my stuff." Yuugi smiled. "I know you like him and everything but he's kind of creepy."

Ryou picked up a sky piece and sorted it with the rest. "Yeah. I mean, I don't feel like I'm in any legitimate danger but he does have that kind of dangerous predator vibe going for him." He couldn't help but blush a little at that. Sure, at first he had thought Mariku was out to murder him but now that he knew that wasn't the case, there were definite perks to having someone cater to his more unusual preferences.

Yuugi must have noticed where his thoughts had wondered off to. When Ryou looked up from the puzzle, his friend was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Do I want to know?" Yuugi asked.

"Probably not."

Jounouchi showed up not long after that. Yuugi had been right about him not having the patience for the puzzle so they moved the finished portion to the side and decided on video games instead.

xxx

That night when his father got home, the man sat himself on Ryou's desk chair while Ryou was on the bed, finishing homework.

"Ryou," he started, then paused to wait for Ryou to pay attention to him instead of math. When Ryou closed his book and put the pencil down, he continued, "I want to talk about your boyfriend."

Again? "What about him?" Though, Ryou could guess. He had been expecting this conversation since the night before.

"Last night, he... I don't know how to put this but he had this look, like he was gearing up to jump across the table and stab me with a fork." There had been a slight possibility. "You seemed to know how to snap him out of it," his father admitted. "I just need to know that he's not hurting you or scaring you into doing things you don't want to do."

"Dad-" Sure, Mariku scared him sometimes but as far as Ryou was concerned, it was a good fear. And a nice hurt.

"You don't need to be afraid of telling me, I'm sure the police will know what to do."

"Dad, wait," Ryou raised his hand in a signal to stop. "There's no need for the police to get involved. I'm not hurt and he doesn't scare me into doing things." He was a bit insulted by the assumption that he could be intimidated into anything.

"I just want you safe."

"I am safe. I know Mariku has a temper and it flares up sometimes but he wouldn't hurt me." If anything, last night had proven that in addition to not wanting to hurt Ryou, Mariku was prepared to not hurt the people around him, just because Ryou asked him not to.

His father sighed in defeat. "Alright, I believe you, you know him better. But I worry. You saw how he looked at me, and he's bigger than you, how'd you fight him off?"

It was true that Mariku could easily overpower him but Ryou wasn't too worried. "You'll just have to trust me when I tell you that I won't need to."

 


	24. Chapter 24

Ryou was glad to go to school. It was suffocating, how close an eye his father kept on him. Just this morning, he had spent a good ten minutes watching Ryou over his coffee cup. He seemed to be looking for something. Ryou guessed it was marks left by Mariku or signs of distress. The only thing causing him distress right then was his father and the fretting.

"You know," the man had started. "I bet you could easily find a better partner if you just put yourself out there."

Ryou had stared, mouth open, ready to tell his father off for implying that he should break up with Mariku. He had known getting angry would get him nowhere, so instead all he had said was, "Mariku is a good partner." Granted, he knew that point could be debated, and his father had looked ready to, but it had seemed like the man hadn't wanted to argue, either.

"I'm not saying that's not true." He had clearly wanted to. "But you're young, you have options. You don't know when this thing with Mariku is going to end."

"I'm hoping it doesn't," he had admitted, quietly. He had wanted to just leave at that point but his father's shocked look had stopped him. He had basically said that he wanted to stay with Mariku for the rest of his life.

"Uh, right, it's just..." his father had paused, thinking his words over. "I got a call, early this morning, from work. They want me to go to the Tokyo headquarters for a couple of weeks, and I'd feel better if I knew you're safe."

How the matter of forever had been glanced over had surprised Ryou but he had let it drop. "I am safe." More or less. "If it makes you feel better, I can stay at Yuugi's during the weekends." Probably, he would have to check with Mariku. They would need to schedule. "I'll be fine."

His father hadn't looked satisfied. By that point they both had had to leave and now, as Ryou sat in class, listening to the teacher lecture, he had other things than what his father had said on his mind. He wondered if Mariku felt the same sense of commitment towards him. He wouldn't ask, too scared to hear the answer. Exams would start soon and he needed to focus on school. He couldn't spend the day thinking about a hypothetical future for Mariku and him. He hoped there was one.

The teacher handed out work sheets. It gave Ryou something else to concentrate on.

xxx

Mariku glanced up the apartment building. It looked cleaner and more inviting than the one he lived in now. He knew an apartment in the sixth floor was up for rent. With two rooms and a kitchen, it was a whole room and half a kitchen bigger than his current one, and with the new income, affordable. He knew Ryou would like it, too.

Speaking of, his phone rang.

"Yes?"

"Hi, um, can you talk?" Ryou said from the other end.

"Sure. What's on your mind?" He could put off checking out the apartment for a few minutes. Ryou sounded wound up, which made Mariku tense up, too. Something had happened.

"It's just, my dad is kind of driving me crazy," Ryou admitted, in a hushed voice, like he was afraid someone could overhear him.

"How so?" He walked to where he had parked his motorcycle, leaned against it.

"He keeps a really close eye on me, like he's watching me for, I don't know, a sign that I'm not ok. And just this morning, he hinted that I should find someone else."

"I don't see how this is news, your father never approved of us." He felt a surge of anger but kept it out of his voice the best he could. He wasn't angry with Ryou, quite the oposite, but the old man was testing his resolve.

"I know, but I thought it was getting better, you know? Like he was making an effort."

Mariku knew that he had slipped up while having dinner at Ryou's. He had gotten too angry, showed it too clearly. He had felt the old urge to maim, to harm. Being with Ryou had mellowed him out somewhat but it was still there, waiting to surface.

"I shouldn't have lost my temper with him. Sorry." Just the mention of his father had gotten his blood boiling. Maybe he just hated fathers in general.

"Oh no, it's fine. I thought you did great, all things considered," Ryou reassured. "I know family is a touchy subject for you, he shouldn't have pried like that."

His sweet, understanding Ryou. Mariku almost felt himself softening around the edges. "True, he shouldn't have. Doesn't change the fact that I made things harder for you."

Ryou sighed. "Don't beat yourself up about it. I'll just have to spend more time at your place." He sounded more chipper by the end of the sentence. "Besides, he's leaving for a while again so it won't be a problem for long."

Mariku smirked. That was excellent news. "No wonder he mentioned us breaking up. He doesn't want to leave you to my clutches while he's away." Granted, it was a justified fear, just not for the reasons the old man assumed.

"Exactly," Ryou agreed. "I promised him I'd spend time with Yuugi, too, but I don't know how much of that I'll be doing."

"You're welcome to my place, too. You know, in case you get lonely."

"Oh, I know."

Mariku licked his lip, grinning to himself. It looked like things were working out his way. "Will I see you later?"

"Yeah, I just need to stop by home first, get some things, maybe eat something."

He wanted to see Ryou now. "I'll make you something."

xxx

Ryou finished his phone call before entering the house. As he was opening the door, he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He turned and spotted Yuugi bouncing up the walkway.

"Hey," he said, hesitant. Had he made plans with Yuugi and then forgotten? He searched his memory but couldn't find anything.

"Hey," Yuugi greeted once he had made his way over. "So, I realize this is a bit odd, but your dad called me and asked me to look out for you for the next few weeks, starting now," he explained, giving an apologetic smile. "I didn't know what was up so I decided to check up on you. Is there something wrong?"

Ryou resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Not at Yuugi, but at his father's meddling. He sighed, annoyed. "Apparently. Come on in for a bit, since you're here." There was no way he was going to explain anything while standing outside. Yuugi followed him.

Giving himself some time to gather his thoughts, Ryou started grabbing things to take with him to Mariku's.

"So, uh, my dad's worried that when he leaves for Tokyo, Mariku's going to, I don't know, hurt me." He tried to keep it casual but from the look on Yuugi's face he saw that he was unsuccessful.

"Is that a legit concern?" Yuugi asked, frowning. "Do you think there's a chance that your dad's right?"

"No," Ryou replied. "I guess the reason he called you is that I sort of promised to hang out with you while he's away, to put his mind at ease that I'm not spending every waking moment with Mariku." He threw his arms up to convey his incredulity at the whole situation. "Who, according to my father, is a dangerous psychopath or something." Which, might be true. Ryou wasn't familiar with personality disorders.

Yuugi raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.

"It's not that I don't want to spend time with you," Ryou said, packing a couple more school books. "I just don't like it being enforced like this." Like he couldn't make his own decisions.

"I get it," Yuugi said. "But we are going to see each other every once in a while, right?"

Ryou paused his angry packing to smile at Yuugi. "Of course we are. It's not like Mariku's just going to whisk me away the moment no one's keeping an eye on me."

xxx

Ryou's things had been steadily finding their way to Mariku's place. First it had been just some underwear and a couple of shirts, a pair of jeans. Then, Mariku had started offering to wash his dirty clothes so he wouldn't have to bring them home and Ryou kept forgetting that he had them. Before he knew it, about half his wardrobe was crammed into a couple of drawers in the corner of Mariku's apartment. To be fair, he had spent a lot of time there.

After coming over, they had shared a meal and he had settled on the couch to do homework. Mariku was reading next to him. It was nice.

"Did you see where I put my biology book? I know I brought it with me," Ryou asked, looking around.

"I think you threw it on the bed," Mariku said without taking his eyes off his book.

Ryou got up, dug through the covers. "Oh! Found it." He brought the book with him, flipping through the pages to find the right spot. His eyes flicked to Mariku, who turned a page, still in concentration. Ryou didn't want to break the quiet but a thought occurred to him.

"Hey, do you ever think about going back to school?" he asked.

Mariku lifted his gaze from the book, thought a moment. "Sometimes. If I manage save up some, I could go to the community college."

"What would you study?" Ryou abandoned biology for a bit. This was more interesting.

"I don't know." Mariku frowned. "My parents wanted me to go to law school, so that was my goal since the beginning of high school. I never really thought about what I wanted to do since doing that wouldn't have been an option, anyway."

The admission made Ryou sad. Where he wasn't in best terms with his father at the moment, he knew the man would never pressure him into choosing a career. Of course every parent wanted their child to be successful, and him doing something prestigious would make his father proud. Still, the decision was ultimately his.

"Well, now you can do whatever you want." Ryou smiled even though Mariku couldn't see it, so concentrated on the opposite wall.

"I suppose I can." He snapped out of it after a while, but for a moment, he had looked so lost. Ryou wanted to hold him but he knew contact would end the conversation.

Mariku glanced at Ryou's discarded book. "Shouldn't you be doing homework? Or maybe you should've stayed at home for that."

"Some of my school stuff's here anyway so I might as well come over for homework," he joked. Sometimes the study sessions ended up being more "study sessions" but no one but them needed to know about that.

"I thought you kept coming over because you liked it here," Mariku said, his tone so carefully neutral that for a moment Ryou thought he was being serious. He looked up from his work to see the wry smile on Mariku's face and relaxed.

"Nah, it's just that my stuff is here," Ryou said. "It's like I half live here already. And honestly, right now here's better than at home." He smiled but it dropped when Mariku started looking serious. He turned to Ryou, sitting sideways with his knee bent on the couch.

"Why not fully live here, then," he said. His eyes were focused on Ryou's face, searching for a reaction.

Ryou stared. It took a while for the words to register and when they did, his eyes widened. "Uh..." He looked around for something to hone in on besides Mariku's intense stare. Before he could escape the situation, maybe by physically removing himself from it to take refuge in the bathroom, he felt strong hands pulling him closer and turning him to face Mariku. The hands stayed on his hips and he had no choice but to meet Mariku's eyes once again.

"Don't run," Mariku's stare went down a notch in intensity. "At least tell me what you think, first."

Ryou breathed in, placing his hands on Mariku's arms for support. He felt shaky. "I-I just um... I'm surprised, I guess it's kind of sudden?"

"It's not sudden," Mariku stated.

"It's not?" It felt sudden. Despite how he had been spending more and more time at the new apartment, now that it was less dangerous for him to walk there alone. He had even managed to strike up a conversation with an elderly woman living on the street floor. Mariku's previous neighbors had scared him, and not in the good way.

"You've been steadily bringing your things over here, you spend most of your free time here," Mariku pressed, echoing Ryou's thoughts. "You said yourself, just now, that you feel better here than you do at home. Or were you lying?"

Ryou shook his head. He knew how much Mariku hated lying. "No, I... All those things are true."

Mariku pulled him closer, hands firm but not yet bruising. "So you should move in," he said, slowly.

Not knowing what else to say, Ryou said, "I guess."

Mariku pushed him down and kissed his doubts away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end :D This fic was such a journey for me, and I appreciate everyone who joined me <3


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